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  #1  
Old 03-28-2012, 03:21 PM
amkronos amkronos is offline
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Default is there such a thing as too much sex?

So I have recently gone from one partner to three, and two live with me full time. Naturally the course of being intimate with each partner has lead to me simply not having enough for everyone. I am not an 18 year old who can go like the energizer bunny for days on end... now the problem isn't performance, it is i simply don't get off every time. Problem is when that all 3 women feel like they did something wrong when this happens. I say it isn't a big deal, but eventually if I don't get this under control it will be a problem for someone.

So, any advice? Viagra isn't an option, but any natural remedy or supplement would be considered. I could simply be having too much sex (8-12x a week), and need to schedule some downtime?
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  #2  
Old 03-28-2012, 05:08 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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I'd say your tank is empty. Schedule a day or two off to re-coup.
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Old 03-28-2012, 05:27 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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I. Am. Jealous!

If you're enjoying yourself then no, it's not too much. If you feel like its a chore then probably yes, too much. We can't tell you how much you want or need but your body can only produce so much at any given time and if you're tapped then you're tapped.
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Old 03-28-2012, 05:32 PM
northhome northhome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
So, any advice?
Although it takes some learning, non-ejaculatory sex could be a way forward. There are lots of Taoist / Tantric books and courses that might be of assistance.

It was the only way the Chinese emperor could manage his 1200 concubines
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Old 03-28-2012, 05:34 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
... i simply don't get off every time...
Do the women get off every time? It's not uncommon for women to have sex for the intimacy, pleasure, and such without actually having an orgasm. Why isn't okay for a man to do the same? Also, it's possible to orgasm without ejaculation, although most men don't experience it unless they train because the muscle sets are so closely connected.

I agree with Kyle.. If you're still enjoying it, you're not doing it too much. If you're exhausted with it and would rather just lie there and cuddle, then something needs to change.

Society has this view on sex that it's over when the man "finishes". Maybe it's time to change that view to something that focuses more on the emotional/spiritual side of sex for BOTH (or all - as the case may be elsewhere) involved.
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:50 PM
amkronos amkronos is offline
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Thanks for the replies everyone.

Answer some questions. Yes the women are getting off, in most cases multiple times which is why they're feeling bad.

I am certsinly enjoying myself, but threesomes do get physically tiring after too many in a row. Good thing i am atleast moderatly athletic...

To make it more interesting this is a d/s relationship in that i am the dominant over each of them, and being submissives they often dont feel comfortable placing their pleasure over others.

I have always viewed sex as something intimate and a way to show affection. Going to try and spread out the attention a little, and work on getting them more comfortable with being selfish a little bit with their own satisfaction.
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Old 03-28-2012, 10:15 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by km34 View Post
Do the women get off every time? It's not uncommon for women to have sex for the intimacy, pleasure, and such without actually having an orgasm. Why isn't okay for a man to do the same? Also, it's possible to orgasm without ejaculation, although most men don't experience it unless they train because the muscle sets are so closely connected.

I agree with Kyle.. If you're still enjoying it, you're not doing it too much. If you're exhausted with it and would rather just lie there and cuddle, then something needs to change.

Society has this view on sex that it's over when the man "finishes". Maybe it's time to change that view to something that focuses more on the emotional/spiritual side of sex for BOTH (or all - as the case may be elsewhere) involved.
THANK YOU! I've had sex and not gotten off before and been fine with it. I've also gotten off and wanted to continue. Almost every time I had to have a discussion with the other party involved to tell them that everything was fine and nothing was wrong. It's not always about the guy! I get way more pleasure out of getting the other person off than I do getting off myself.
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Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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  #8  
Old 03-29-2012, 01:07 AM
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Alleycat Alleycat is offline
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I reccomend taking a page from the lady-to-lady book;

-foreplay.
-fingers.
-tounge.
-toys.
-cuddling.

Sex doesn't have to involve traditional intercourse to be mutually satisfying, and with three on the go it's perfectly normal to occasionally not be able to (or not feel the need) to "finish" every time.

Don't worry too much about getting off every time, most women worry more about the aftercare and afterglow than the wet spurt anyway.
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  #9  
Old 03-29-2012, 06:06 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I have this issue too. I have three partners too. Some I have sex with more than others, but I find my tank empty and I feel fulfilled all the time. Great for me, not so much for them. This has been going on for three+ years now.

I have talked to all of them and told them that if they don't get enough they will have to find it elsewhere. One is married and has that option, but the other is mono and the other still just has only me right now! Lots of work!

I do my best to keep really good boundaries with sex. I do my best not to feel bad and not to take on the responsibility of satisfying them all the time. I also have a responsibility to myself too. In fact, I come first. I spent a good two years not masturbating and forgetting my own body. Recently I decided that I should stay in touch and have actually found that I had neglected my connection with myself. So I have been re-discovering myself. This means less sex for others though.... Thankfully I have a very high desire for sex and am happy with once a day. I find I don't ever have to go without All my bases are covered.

I would suggest making sure these women know that this can't go on forever. It really can't. Please don't take viagra just for them.... there are other things that can be done and really, if they are horny and you are not up to it, they can lie next to you to feel close and satisfy themselves sometimes. Sex doesn't have to be swinging from chandeliers all the time, geesh.
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  #10  
Old 03-29-2012, 07:22 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Another question would be do they not have other partners that can take some of the pressure off of you?
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