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Old 05-16-2017, 01:54 AM
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WildColonial WildColonial is offline
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Talking Stranger in a Strange Land

It might be soon to start a journal of sorts, but here goes:

My first experience with non-monogamy was in 2011, when I met a man who was in an open relationship. His relationship was happy, but his girlfriend was asexual. I saw him on and off for two years. I'm grateful to him for building up my confidence and helping me get through a rough period in my life, but I just couldn't handle non-monogamy at that time.

In 2012, I met another man who was in an open marriage, but I was too newly out of my last (monogamous) relationship that had ended badly.

In 2013, I met yet another married man who identified as poly but freaked out when I told him I was dating another guy. I think he just wanted poly for himself.

In 2014, I met R and it was lust at first sight but love shortly thereafter. We've been together through good times and bad (including two more failed attempts at non-monogamy). I love her more than I've loved anyone else, and I'm excited that we're making it legal this fall.

We had our first couple date on Saturday night. R met K2 on Facebook and hung out with her a few times, but then she fell off the map. They reconnected, and K2 said that she broke off contact because she thought I didn't approve of R spending time with her (I met her once and liked her, not sure where she got this idea). K2 eventually admitted that she had a crush on R. R and I discussed it, and we agreed that we would invite K2 over for dinner. K1 and I cooked, and R and K2 hung out in the kitchen while we were cooking. We ate pasta, salad, and flourless chocolate cake (yum) baked by K2. We talked music, animals, art, crafting, linguistics, all kinds of fun stuff. Then K2, R, and I watched a movie. I was nervous, but not nearly as jealous as I thought I would be. Quite the opposite, actually. I enjoyed being on one side of R with K2 on the other side and R holding hands with each of us. We both walked her to her car at the end of the night, and R gave her a peck on the cheek. All in all, a very nice evening, except that I spent the rest of the weekend horny as hell. I had no idea it would turn me on so much to see R flirt with and pay attention to another woman.

We had made plans with K2 for this coming Saturday, but I suggested to R that this time she and K2 should go out one-on-one. They're planning to do just that.

In the meantime, I've been browsing OKC and Fetlife, and I have a tentative coffee date on Sunday with another woman (depends on her work schedule).

K1 was a little nervous about the whole situation, and she and I had a good talk about it. I reassured her that she can talk to me any time and that we would never kick her out of the house or replace her with anyone else, that she's our friend and roommate for as long as she wants to be. For her part, she thinks K2 is cute as well, but she's nervous about entering into any kind of relationship, mono or poly.

So . . . not sure where this is going to go, but ready and willing to enjoy the ride.
__________________
Me - 42/F/gender nonconforming/pansexual
Starbucks (fka R)- 39/F/trans/homoflexible - my fiancee
Actor (fka K1) - 40/F/cis/pansexual - queerplatonic housemate
Techie (fka L) - 41/F/trans/lesbian - dating, FWB, and potential sub to me, semi-long-distance
Musician (fka M1) - 53/F/trans/lesbian - my GF, local
Mistress (fka A) - 37/F/trans/queer - R's new play partner, potential Domme, local
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Old 05-18-2017, 01:50 AM
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WildColonial WildColonial is offline
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So I messaged someone whose OKC profile looks interesting, and now I'm worrying that I asked her dumb questions. I read her profile several times before messaging her, but I'm wondering if she thinks I'm just another idiot trying to meet a unicorn online (I'm not).

Haven't heard from my tentative coffee date, but I wasn't expecting to till Friday.

I think I may be more excited for R's date with K2 than she is.

Oh, and I also started chatting with a woman on Fetlife. She's much younger than me and lives in another state.
__________________
Me - 42/F/gender nonconforming/pansexual
Starbucks (fka R)- 39/F/trans/homoflexible - my fiancee
Actor (fka K1) - 40/F/cis/pansexual - queerplatonic housemate
Techie (fka L) - 41/F/trans/lesbian - dating, FWB, and potential sub to me, semi-long-distance
Musician (fka M1) - 53/F/trans/lesbian - my GF, local
Mistress (fka A) - 37/F/trans/queer - R's new play partner, potential Domme, local
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Old 05-29-2017, 10:04 PM
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WildColonial WildColonial is offline
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R's date with K2 went really well; they were supposed to hang out on Saturday, but K2 sprained her ankle. I also helped R create an OKC profile. Interestingly enough, OKC says we're only 61 percent compatible, but that's probably because she didn't answer very many questions.

My tentative coffee date fell through; she has to work out of state for the next few weeks. I had a coffee date on Tuesday with a very fascinating woman. I didn't really feel a spark, but she's definitely got friend potential. I may even set her up with K1. I also had a lunch date on Saturday. This woman also has friend potential but is really stuck on another woman.

I've had some good conversations on OKC and Her (sort of a hybrid of Facebook and Tinder, but for women and non-binary folk only). I have tentative plans to meet at least one woman and possibly two at the first of our two Prides, this coming weekend. (Yes, we have two Prides. No, there's no infighting that I'm aware of, but the organization could be better.)

I've also started talking to a woman on Zoosk. Zoosk bothers me though; you have to contact tech support to change your settings to "woman seeking women" instead of being able to do it yourself.

I found a classmate from high school on Tinder. She "super liked" me but didn't reply to my message. That was weird.

R and I had our final couples counseling session last week. We were not in a good place when we started going; in fact, we were on the verge of breaking up. Now, I'm less dependent on her and taking better care of my mental health, and we're stronger than we've ever been.
__________________
Me - 42/F/gender nonconforming/pansexual
Starbucks (fka R)- 39/F/trans/homoflexible - my fiancee
Actor (fka K1) - 40/F/cis/pansexual - queerplatonic housemate
Techie (fka L) - 41/F/trans/lesbian - dating, FWB, and potential sub to me, semi-long-distance
Musician (fka M1) - 53/F/trans/lesbian - my GF, local
Mistress (fka A) - 37/F/trans/queer - R's new play partner, potential Domme, local
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  #4  
Old 07-30-2017, 04:34 AM
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WildColonial WildColonial is offline
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Whew! A lot has happened since I last updated.

K2 and R had a few dates but have since stopped talking. I don't know why. R has had coffee a couple of times with a friend of K1's, but she's straight. R's been talking to a couple of women on OKC, but no face-to-face dates yet.

L and I finally met after two months of chatting and texting, and the chemistry was intense. R had some jealousy around that, but we've had a few talks and she's working through it on her own and with me.

Just for fun, I poked around the "women seeking women" section of Craigslist and amid all the poor spelling and grammar, found a well-written ad that really intrigued me. Enter M1. Tonight we had our first date after a month of talking, and we both had a great time.

I've also started talking to M2, who has some experience with being poly. However, she's just out of a brief but intense relationship and is mostly looking for friends.
__________________
Me - 42/F/gender nonconforming/pansexual
Starbucks (fka R)- 39/F/trans/homoflexible - my fiancee
Actor (fka K1) - 40/F/cis/pansexual - queerplatonic housemate
Techie (fka L) - 41/F/trans/lesbian - dating, FWB, and potential sub to me, semi-long-distance
Musician (fka M1) - 53/F/trans/lesbian - my GF, local
Mistress (fka A) - 37/F/trans/queer - R's new play partner, potential Domme, local
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