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  #11  
Old 07-19-2012, 04:28 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Originally Posted by BohemianMLHR81 View Post
Oh just one thing is your bf a southern redneck man? This has the pregnant barefoot smell all over it!
Do they have southern redneck men in Canada?
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  #12  
Old 07-19-2012, 04:36 PM
BohemianMLHR81 BohemianMLHR81 is offline
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The mentality displayed by your man is def southern redneck! The whole I can do what I want but NO ONE else will touch what is mine!
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  #13  
Old 07-19-2012, 05:00 PM
LostInCanada LostInCanada is offline
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Originally Posted by BohemianMLHR81 View Post
Oh just one thing is your bf a southern redneck man? This has the pregnant barefoot smell all over it!
Haha no he's not. He does have lingering issues from his previous relationship where his ex girlfriend cheated on him with anything that moved. So I get him being afraid I might leave, although if I wanted to do that I could've done it already. With that said, I told him when we first got together that he could sleep with another girl or guy and I'd be fine with it. And now that he's gotten comfortable with the idea of doing so, I think he's afraid that I'm gonna start screaming for equality. But really, all I want is us to be together in a closed triad or a semi closed one. I mean if OG wants to date other people, fine by me. But my boyfriend isn't gonna keep me chained to him when he has someone else already and is looking for others as well. That's not gonna fly. And if things stay as a V, I'd be content with that as well. I like him having a guy, it turns me on and makes me happy.

Last edited by LostInCanada; 07-19-2012 at 05:06 PM. Reason: wanted to elaborate
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  #14  
Old 07-19-2012, 05:09 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by LostInCanada View Post
. . . he hopes that I don't get mad because he now gets to be with other guys, and I have to stay monogamous.
WTF? You "have to" stay monogamous? Says the dictator who thinks he can do what he wants and run your life? Um, what?

YOU have a choice. Grow a backbone, why don't you! YOU tell him what you want, and YOU are the one who chooses what you do with your life and your body. If he doesn't want to abide by it, he can walk.

Sheesh, the immature crap people put up with.
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  #15  
Old 07-19-2012, 06:10 PM
BohemianMLHR81 BohemianMLHR81 is offline
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Oh horse pucky! Stop making excuses for his selfesh behavior and start screaming for equality! If his treating you as if you did not matter was not bothering you then this post would not be here! And furthermore trust me on this because almost every man in the sothern part of the US uses a cheating ex as an EXCUSE to be a controlling asshole with a double standard for himself and his woman! He my dear is a cheater! You have just given him permission to rub it in your face!
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  #16  
Old 07-19-2012, 06:27 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Bohemian - First of all if you paid attention to her handle, you'd realize that she isn't in the US and comparing her boyfriend to those supposed southern redneck men that you've encountered, especially the cheating part, really isn't fair since she's never said that he cheated. Since when is it cheating to have multiple relationships, sexual or otherwise, if your partner has explicitly agreed to it? She didn't give him permission to cheat and rub it in her face. *exasperated sigh*

Also, I'm wondering if everyone missed the part about them having a D/s relationship because that could effect how she goes about handling things.

LostinCanada, I am hearing that you want your boyfriend to have this relationship, but you don't want him to keep OG from seeing other people and you would prefer it if he only saw OG and not guys plural. Depending on the level of D/s in your relationship, I would suggest telling him that you aren't comfortable with him seeing multiple guys. It sounds like you are getting to spend more time with his new guy than he is and that has to sting a little. I know that you feel a connection to OG, but I would suggest keeping it to a friendship while they build their relationship. You are all new at this and rushing into asking for you to be allowed to date OG before he's really had the chance to seems a bit unfair considering what you initially agreed to. Point out to him that you and he had an agreement that you'd help him find A guy to explore his bicurious nature and you want to take things slow so you all feel comfortable with how the relationship is proceeding, including OG. Leave room to negotiate later, but suggest a period of 3-6 months, where you guys stick to the original plan?

Last edited by BrigidsDaughter; 07-19-2012 at 06:29 PM. Reason: corrected spelling
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  #17  
Old 07-19-2012, 07:08 PM
BohemianMLHR81 BohemianMLHR81 is offline
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I did indeed pay attention to her handle. I was referring to the mentality similarities of her husband with the typical southern redneck man. I do admit I missed the D/s thing. However that really does not change the fact that the man wants to have sex with homever he chooses when he chooses but god forbid his woman have the same freedom. That Bridgett IS SOUTHERN MALE MENTALITY! It has nothing to do with love. It is all about possession. He feels that he owns her and that she is his private property. Again I am only going by what she has posted here. According to what she has posted, she is not happy being restricted in her freedom of choice.
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  #18  
Old 07-19-2012, 08:12 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Let me just say, if I were the new guy and I found out that I was expected to be monogamous with your bf, even though he 1) has you, 2) isn't prepared for an emotional relationship, 3) might want to be with other guys, I would just laugh my head off and walk away. Hell any ONE of those things would be enough for me to say "wtf, no, that's a ridiculous double standard." I would encourage him to let go of that thought before even bringing it up to the new guy, because it's frankly just offensively condescending.
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  #19  
Old 07-20-2012, 01:08 AM
LostInCanada LostInCanada is offline
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Lots of replies since I last wrote on here I see. Anyway, I did tell my boyfriend that he was crazy to expect OG to stay not see anyone else while they are together. I haven't really talked to him about us starting a relationship though, since I told him before we met OG that I was fine with him being with someone else and me staying monogamous. Of course that was before I knew OG existed, and I didn't know I'd get a crush when we met. So maybe I'm making an excuse for him, but we did talk about it before, and it was me who changed my mind on the matter, not him. Still doesn't make him right though.

On another note, I went out to lunch with OG today since he was having a crappy day and I enjoyed myself once again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Let me just say, if I were the new guy and I found out that I was expected to be monogamous with your bf, even though he 1) has you, 2) isn't prepared for an emotional relationship, 3) might want to be with other guys, I would just laugh my head off and walk away. Hell any ONE of those things would be enough for me to say "wtf, no, that's a ridiculous double standard."
You're right. It is ridiculous and I'm going to talk to him more about it tonight. OG isn't actively looking for a girlfriend, but I know he wouldn't mind finding one right now. And I'm keeping our relationship as just friends right now, but eventually I wouldn't mind if it becomes more.
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  #20  
Old 07-20-2012, 09:12 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Well it isnt TOTALLY ridiculous. Perhaps OG will agree that he will try a monogamous relationship with your bf That is between them. Of course I usually assume anybody who is like - hey lets be mono FWB while we aren't really friends and I have actual relationships... to be somebody who is going to be told "oh sure" and then whining a month later all surprised that a person who agreed to that went off and had their own relationships because they didn't consider your request to be real since it's so ridiculous. Hopefully if OG is thinking "no thanks I like your gf too" he manages to express that (otherwise is he really ready to be in a healthy poly relationship at all?)

YOU however, yep, sounds like you'll have more negotiating to do. I'm guessing you've written posts before but I don't recall them directly. I hope you can do a firm "these are my boundaries, and this is what I wont accept" sort of statement to your boyfriend. And yes, even a - well no, if you have sexual partners I am going to also so lets discuss the reality. check never hurts.
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