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Old 07-16-2012, 05:16 PM
Trinity Trinity is offline
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Hi,

I'm a woman from europe in a longterm relationship (10+ years) with my fiance, and in a even longer term friendship with my 'bff' (20+ years).

But recently our friendship with my 'bff' changed; it became more. Just totally unexpected. After such a long time of close friendship! I never had any sexual feelings for her, but now I do; a lot!

I had some kind of open relation with my ex; but I didnt like that; it was not my desire back then; it was his; even when I had another and he didnt; I felt like I was cheating; it didnt feel right; I just wanted 1 man who loved me totally. After that relation I had a 2-week treesome with a good friend and someone she knew. But I was young, not so experienced; she was older and more experienced; I felt left out and insecure. So I was 'cured' of any desires for something bisexual ot treesomes.

My fiance and my bff met eachother in work-traffic; but she was in a relationship; so she introduced him to me; since he was such a nice guy and I was available.
And we fell in love and it felt like destiny and now have a steady relationship for over 10 years now.
But from time to time I discovered things; an interest from my fiance to my bff. And he thought it was difficult to be honest about; he felt ashamed and wrong; and yes; because of he didnt trust me in that and didnt share it with me; I had jealous feelings.

But I discovered that if your partner loves someone else it isnt necessary to have jealous feelings.
I confronted him with it again, but now on a more teasy way, about 5 months ago.
And yes; now he felt save enough to share everything what was going on.
They didnt do anything sexual with eachother; but were sending teasy private messages to eachother; well he did; and she liked it since she was longing for it. When I was gone for work they had watched some movies. Yes that was painful; not for what they wanted of eachother; but for not sharing with me.

Since they shared it with me the jealousy dissapeared; and it grew in something much more.
We now have a good triad; of a very close friendship; and with a something more to it. It is so special for us; and really amazing it is possible.
It feels like a triad; it feels more complete; even though we feel complete with the 2 of us; it is just more love.

It is not all perfect; we feel the need to hide; we have both our families; and she has a husband who is not in it (he doesnt want to know what happens and if anything happens).
We spend a lot of time now with the 2 families together, and from time to time some time with just the tree of us where we can feel free in what we feel for eachother.

There an option now to live in 2 houses next to eachother, but I'm still not sure about that. Her husband has benefits from that too; but I don't want him to be jealous; he is a good friend too.

It is really amazing how this works; I feel even more love for both of them!
I don't feel jealous of the idea if my fiance does something with her alone; I feel aroused by it!

And the path to this; since I have become a mother; I noticed I have a desire to have a group to live in; other mothers to bond with; so we can share tasks; emotions; joy; and childcare. I learned how our culture differs from other cultures in a lot of things.
And now I have a bigger family-group; kindoff

I am learning to let go; as a mother; and now in this new relationship.
And with letting go; I feel more joy; love; trust and happiness

I don't know how long we can enjoy this; but I hope for a very long time; and I can imagine it can grow in the future; by just trusting eachother and respecting eachother.
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:22 PM
MandaPanda MandaPanda is offline
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Sounds like you all have come along way in your relationship. I hope it all works out for you..
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Old 07-19-2012, 09:21 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hello Trinity,
Welcome to our forum.

It sounds like you have quite an intense and loving triad. I hope the three of you are able to be together for a long time. Sounds like your BFF's husband has kind of a DADT thing going. Maybe in the future he will open up, and it will get easier for him? I hope so.

Always communicate with each other, as much as possible. Communication is the doorway to so many things.

I am glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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