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  #101  
Old 03-29-2011, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny View Post
The parts I bolded are important, I believe, because I've seen so many conversations derailed because the discussion becomes about being right rather than reaching a consensus, solving a problem, or whatever other goal the conversation was meant to accomplish.

Productive communication is not a pissing contest. More people need to learn this.
I like the way you wrote that! And I wholeheartedly agree!
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  #102  
Old 04-01-2011, 09:33 AM
Gargantuan Gargantuan is offline
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so, where's the workshop man?
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  #103  
Old 04-02-2011, 06:12 AM
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I have to not assume that people can read mind. We all do. There is too much going on in a poly relationship to make time and attention available to guess other partners' needs.
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  #104  
Old 04-02-2011, 12:17 PM
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Koifish, You have gone through and posted a few brief sentences to every thread in the General Discussion forum. This is actually a little annoying as I am subscribed to many of those threads and your posts contained very little substance. My email was flooded, but when I went to read, there was no real content.

Your words would have more impact if you responded in a substantive manner to a few posts rather than briefly to many.

Many of these posts were good first sentences, but you made statements without backing them up or following through.
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  #105  
Old 04-02-2011, 03:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny View Post
Koifish, You have gone through and posted a few brief sentences to every thread in the General Discussion forum. This is actually a little annoying as I am subscribed to many of those threads and your posts contained very little substance. My email was flooded, but when I went to read, there was no real content.

Your words would have more impact if you responded in a substantive manner to a few posts rather than briefly to many.

Many of these posts were good first sentences, but you made statements without backing them up or following through.
I thought the spammers had gotten in again, then I recognized the name.
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  #106  
Old 04-12-2011, 06:22 PM
curlyQhoopDidoo curlyQhoopDidoo is offline
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Default Communication - It's importance and what we learn from it.

Just some questions about the idea of communication and its importance (:

How important has communication been in your experience in polyamorous relationships?

What have you learned about communicating with people in general from the challenge of communicating with more than one love at a time?

Do the more people involved make communication all the more challenging?

Has holding communication in a high place changed the way you feel about communicating with others (and its importance) in general?

What are the dangers of keeping something to yourself? In a relationship (or in life in general) when is it right to keep something to yourself and when does it become dishonest?

Just looking for opinions and experiences.
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  #107  
Old 04-12-2011, 07:26 PM
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[QUOTE=curlyQhoopDidoo;75926]
Quote:
How important has communication been in your experience in polyamorous relationships?
Shitty communication skills are the bane of all relationships. Great communication skills are absolutely essential in carrying on long term, functional, happy and dynamic relationships (poly or otherwise).

Quote:
What have you learned about communicating with people in general from the challenge of communicating with more than one love at a time?
I always had more than one love, just never had a way to describe it. But, I've learned in my life that more than 75% of the time when people are talking to each other-they are NOT actually communicating the message that they are intending to AND all too often, they never realize it.
Quote:
Do the more people involved make communication all the more challenging?
If you are a skilled communicator-no. If you suck at communication, it's so challenging to start with that it simply becomes impossible if you add more people. Each individual has their own mental picture of what EACH word means-so when you state a simple sentence, including yourself each person has at least a slightly different picture arise of what you mean. When you complicate that by making it multiple people, and more complicated sentences... well it becomes astronomically more likely that you won't actually get your point across.

Quote:
Has holding communication in a high place changed the way you feel about communicating with others (and its importance) in general?
Yes absolutely AND it's also changed the way I feel about the absolute NECESSITY for self-introspection on a LARGE and ongoing DAILY schedule.

Quote:
What are the dangers of keeping something to yourself?
Fucking up your life.
Fucking up someone else's life.

Quote:
In a relationship (or in life in general) when is it right to keep something to yourself and when does it become dishonest?
That completely depends on your outlook. Different people have different opinions. Off the top of my head with little contemplation I'd say that if there is ANY possibility that the information COULD impact the other person-you owe it to yourself and them to share it.
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  #108  
Old 04-12-2011, 08:06 PM
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By doing a tag search for communicatioin you will find lots of threads that might help answer your questions
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  #109  
Old 05-25-2011, 05:58 AM
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found this really interesting thread on communicating for anyone that is interested...
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  #110  
Old 11-29-2011, 02:37 AM
liberumcredo liberumcredo is offline
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I have looked through the threads, and have not been able to find this particular question asked, so I am sorry if it is a re-post.

How does everyone feel about it if one partner speaks to the other about you, for advice or as emotional preparation to talking to you?
OR
Is it O.K. to discuss partner A with partner B if there is trouble on the water?

My wife and I are poly, and we have hit a rough spot. We are just fine, and we know it, we are just working out the kinks, but there can be a lot of emotion involved. Someone else I am casually dating told me that I can always come to them if I need someone to talk to, and I responded that I didn't know if that would be appropriate. She doesn't understand why I won't talk to her about what is going on in my marriage, and I am a bit confused about what would be 'best' in this situation. I would not be saying anything to my GF that I have not / will not in the future say my wife, but I am afraid that by venting my emotions I may cast my wife in a bad light to my GF. On the other hand, I am making my GF feel like I cannot open up to her by keeping it private. HELP!

I was hoping that someone here has had some direct experience and could let me know what has worked for them.
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