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Old 06-30-2012, 09:06 PM
losingsarah losingsarah is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: north texas
Posts: 4
Default hi from north texas

I am C, married 14 years to my husband, J. We have had an open relationship for most of the time we have been married. We recently came back to poly living after a few years of dealing with life and putting poly on the back burner.

He has two lovers, one that is more of a friends with benefits situation, and the other a girl he truly adores.

I just had my secondary relationship with my girlfriend end rather abruptly, and am shattered by the loss.

I am finding that I am really questioning if I will ever get over the loss of my lover and be happy enough to try again. I believe in poly, I enjoy living this life and I feel it makes us better people. I joined this forum to explore and share and try to start the healing process and move forward.
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Old 07-01-2012, 06:01 PM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

Hi C,

I'm so sorry that your loss is so painful. I was just writing on another thread (well, thanking someone else for writing) about how risking a hurt is worth it for the love and the ecstasy we may find.

Welcome to our forum. I hope you find some stories here that are comforting and helpful.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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Old 07-02-2012, 03:36 AM
losingsarah losingsarah is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: north texas
Posts: 4

thank you for the welcome.

I hope I can find someway to sort through and process this pain. I have been reading all day. My husband and I have talked about how losing her doesn't make poly life any less of a valid choice, and it remains right for us.But I need to grieve the loss of my love, and it's not fair for me to take another person through that with me right now, so I guess I'm supporting my husband and his choices, but taking a break for myself. I am sure I will jump right back in with two feet once I get my bearings. In fact, I am looking forward to growing from this and grateful for the lessons I learned.
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Old 07-02-2012, 02:13 PM
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Setxfamily Setxfamily is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 265

Hello and welcome from Houston your southern neighbors.
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Old 07-05-2012, 04:36 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,974

Hi C,

I just wanted to add my welcome to the forum, and say I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you have gone through. You seem to be handling it with patience and wisdom, and I'm sure in time your wounds will heal (though there may always be an empty spot in your heart where your girlfriend was).

I'm glad to have you with us, and hope you'll make yourself at home.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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