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Old 06-26-2012, 06:29 AM
AlainaChrisPlusone21's Avatar
AlainaChrisPlusone21 AlainaChrisPlusone21 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Tenneessee
Posts: 11
Default New , curious, wanting to understand, polyandry

Hi , like my user name , my name is Alaina and my husband name is Chris or Spencer which he prefers. Looking through the information and I have come to realize I , my self, been trying to keep a polyamorous relationship with my partners. I was able to fall in love and forum a deep emotional and loving relationship more than with one man. I have no dislike for female relations I just found that was not my nitch. I recently got married to my husband Spencer, we were happy but I found my self still feeling like I wanted to have another emotional attachment, it was nothing against my husband, I would not do anything to put our relationship in a hard spot or possibly lose. Coming across this definition and group I had never herd about, at first I was very against it since monogamy was the only way I was ever showed. I asked my self , what right do others have to tell me how to be happy to my highest ability? I remember when my friend was viewed as wrong, unmoral, and not right for being openly gay and now I see how after so many years people no longer bat an eye to him.

After getting married my husband's best man stayed, at first I was against it and very cautious because I knew I could become attached or something viewed as very wrong. Weeks passed and no matter how much I tried to stay away or think it was bad , I started to trust him and we talked, now at this time I kept my research with polyamory to my self and I realize this was my first mistake and if I was starting to see this was my lifestyle I wanted I should have gone to my husband and had a long discussion with him.

Our room mate moved out and with him leaving I realized it was time to speak up and now my husband and I are ready to look into this life style and getting ready to make our change. I trust my husband, and he trusts me , we have open communication more than ever now, no matter how little the things are or how useless it may be I love him and he needs to know how I am feeling, what he feels or anything he or I may want or have a problem with.

We are happy to talk and love more information on polyamory, we have looked over stories and alot through this forum and kind of figured what we would want and would like to connect more with people and hear their stories. See how your life works around it and how you deal with the social outlook on your partners? Coming out? arrangements? Values? Kids? basic safe rules? Jealousy?

We are searching for information and feedback and support.

Thank you so much.
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Old 06-26-2012, 07:19 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651


Feel free to read about our journey, it's in in the Life Stories and Blog section of this forum (Phy's Story - As You like it) We live what you are mainly searching for, as it seems. Maybe you are able to find some similarities to your own situation, even though the start was a bit more complicated for us ^.^

Wishing you luck, may you find what you are searching for.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
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Old 06-26-2012, 04:18 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Welcome to the forum.

There are tons of stories on here - both on the intro posts, the personal blogs and also people posting snippets in the more general threads. Stick around and read a lot, and you'll be amazed what you pick up

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:49 AM
AlainaChrisPlusone21's Avatar
AlainaChrisPlusone21 AlainaChrisPlusone21 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Tenneessee
Posts: 11

Thank you so much guys, and I love looking at all the stickys and the stories its great to see we are not alone and that we want this to work. Just talking about it and being able to be open is a great weight lifted from my shoulders. We want to be true to our self but in a healthy way and good for our family, sorry I didn't mention it before but we have a four year old son and one on the way, not the reason we got married had a year of planning then a few weeks before the big day boom morning sickness lol.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:30 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,927

Hi Alaina,
I just wanted to add my welcome to the forum.

The blogs section is a great place for finding out how people "do polyamory," and how it works in their lives. I'm personally in a poly-fi V. I and one other guy are the "arms of the V." We have not come out and are still in the closet. No kids (Both of the guys are snipped). We had some jealousy issues in the earlier years of our relationship, but we kind of weathered them and things have really calmed down. We've been together as a poly unit for over six years.

I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have; it sounds like you're doing well on your poly journey so far.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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