not sure what to do

[noob]

OP, I get what you mean about soulmates. The typical idea of soulmates is monogamist by nature because it requires there be one person for every one person. But I like redpepper's tweaking of that theory, and I find it similar to my experience, too.

Not to thread hijack, but one thing that has been interesting about meeting my OSO was that the feeling I had when we met, and immediately after, was extremely similar to the feeling I had about my husband when we met. It's the feeling of "I was meant to meet this person, meant to have a relationship of some kind with this person, and this person is going to have a profound impact on my life--I just know it to the core of my being."

I've had that several times during the course of my life, with different people, and every time so far I have been right. Interestingly, some of them I had long sexual relationships with, some short, and some no sexual relationship at all...but they all had a profound impact on the way I look at the world, at a time when I really needed a new perspective

[sheiksquall]

Oh that I definitely believe in. I cannot help but believe in that. I was simply saying that the idea that there is a person out there that completes you is an idea that monotonous use to try to diswade the polys mono I have found so many lies in the mono way of thinking that sometimes I get angry. Sometimes angry at myself for beliving them just as accepted fact. The truth has set me free

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by sheiksquall

I have found so many lies in the mono way of thinking that sometimes I get angry. Sometimes angry at myself for beliving them just as accepted fact. The truth has set me free

While I understand your frustration and sense of being attacked, the way you present you beliefs, and judgement of the beliefs held by many others, does you no justice. You sound terribly bitter my friend. Your truths are not the truths of, or for, others.

[sheiksquall]

Dang it people yes I am a little bitter that is true i am not arguing that. But quit saying I sound bitter dang. I am not going on your Posts and telling you what you believe is wrong no i'm simply on my own post posting my views. I am the OP on this thread not you. Now if i came over to your post where you were OP sure I can see being a bit nicer but I am OP on this thread.

[MonoVCPHG]

I deleted my last comment. I was being defensive. I read the original comment and have a better understanding now. Take care, sheiksquall

[sheiksquall]

Monogamists This right here is why I get pissed off we call you out on something as not being true and you instantly get pissed off at us. I didn't even say what was not true entirely just that somethings were not true and instantly people get defensive. It is exactly this kind of follow the leader mentality I cannot stand. The problem is that somethings are defensively true and somethings are defensively not true. You for example would have a hard time convincing me that 1+1 is 3 I am sorry its just not its a lie. Now i am not saying what is true and what is not true I am simply saying some things that I was raised to believe are absolute not true and that's all I'm saying.

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by sheiksquall

Monogamists This right here is why I get pissed off we call you out on something as not being true and you instantly get pissed off at us. I didn't even say what was not true entirely just that somethings were not true and instantly people get defensive. It is exactly this kind of follow the leader mentality I cannot stand. The problem is that somethings are defensively true and somethings are defensively not true. You for example would have a hard time convincing me that 1+1 is 3 I am sorry its just not its a lie. Now i am not saying what is true and what is not true I am simply saying some things that I was raised to believe are absolute not true and that's all I'm saying.

Actually if you understand the science behind adding Decibels you'd know that 1 +1 can equal 3.

I'm not sure if you are actively trying to provoke an argument or are just hurting because something you care about has been taken away. Either way, Perhaps you would have an easier time communicating with your wife if you focussed on the positives of poly as opposed to pointing a bitter finger at the perceived negatives of monogamy when you talk to her? Maybe that is where you are encountering a block.

[sheiksquall]

I do focus on the positives believe me I am just in a bad mood right now.

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by sheiksquall

I do focus on the positives believe me I am just in a bad mood right now.

I understand my friend. I do want to help from a mono perspective. Has your wife read anything on here?

[sheiksquall]

I really have to fix my icon its driving me nuts yes i designed that myself.