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  #21  
Old 06-22-2012, 07:29 AM
Pheline Pheline is offline
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I enjoy it when my husband whispers in my ear how much he enjoyed having sex with another woman...I love him to describe in exact detail how it felt and how much the lady in question enjoyed it. I also love to watch him having sex with another woman...not sure if it is strange but leads to a very nice orgasm every time :-)
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  #22  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:22 PM
Dreamy Dreamy is offline
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I hope to experience this someday. I think it would be hard for me to find two willing men. Given that I don't want casual sex, and would need bonds with each.

IMO cuckolding originally included the humiliation and all, but now I consider it a broader term. Maybe it's a misuse of the word but I don't know a better term for the husband/bf watching. (The hotwife term bothers me. I think it's just the nicer way of saying "slut wife" and often the husband is a bit controlling over her, and it's usually many partners casually.)

Last edited by Dreamy; 06-22-2012 at 08:28 PM.
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  #23  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:31 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamy View Post
... Maybe it's a misuse of the word but I don't know a better term for the husband/bf watching. ...
I think voyeurism covers this.
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  #24  
Old 06-23-2012, 04:40 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I think voyeurism is broader, though. It just means watching people. It doesn't mean you know either of them. It certainly doesn't mean that at least one of them is your partner, too.
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  #25  
Old 06-23-2012, 04:54 AM
km34 km34 is offline
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Very true, but I don't think it has the negative connotations or the included subjection/humiliation that cuckolding has. Granted, voyeurism only used to be used to describe "Peeping Toms" or people who spied on others, not people who were willingly included in the room during sexual acts. Now it is used for more inclusive things, though, and it's even used for nonsexual experiences like reality tv and such.

I don't know that there is a perfect word for it, but I would think voyeurism would be the closest thing since it is getting pleasure from watching others. Cuckolding has the humiliation aspect that I don't think is included in most people's enjoyment of watching people (significant other or otherwise) have sex.
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  #26  
Old 06-23-2012, 07:43 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I don't know, I think of "voyeurism" as having more negative connotations than "cuckolding" so it's probably subjective. What about "cuckold voyeurism" then?
Not that I think we necessarily need a specific word for it, mind you.
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  #27  
Old 06-23-2012, 09:15 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I am not sure how many of you have read the book Sex at Dawn, but it covers the prehistoric underpinnings of this phenomenon, 2 or several men all involved sexually with one woman.

It posits, through biology and anthropology, that a woman having sex with several men in one session (over several hours or days) is completely natural. I am assuming the OP does not just watch his wife have sex, and then not shag her himself. He watches, he becomes aroused, he also has sex with her shortly after the other lover is done. Women can be quite multi orgasmic, and in general, men are not as orgasmic. So, she is biologically able to have sex with more than one partner in one session.

The book also suggests it is one reason women are often quite vocal during sex. Her noises (in pre-history and pre-patriarchy) would act as a mating call to other partners to "come and get me while I'm hot."

If you are not culturally programmed to be jealous of another guy boning your wife/gf, why wouldn't it be arousing to watch her physically involved with another partner? It could even be a socially bonding thing between the 2 (or more) males involved.

I think Sex at Dawn is a very interesting book, and I hope other polyamorous people find it as enlightening as I did.
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  #28  
Old 06-24-2012, 02:41 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
through biology and anthropology, that a woman having sex with several men in one session (over several hours or days) is completely natural. I am assuming the OP does not just watch his wife have sex, and then not shag her himself. He watches, he becomes aroused, he also has sex with her shortly after the other lover is done. Women can be quite multi orgasmic, and in general, men are not as orgasmic. So, she is biologically able to have sex with more than one partner in one session.
That makes perfect sense to me!! With the invention of Viagra, things have shifted a bit, but basically- this sounds very logical to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
The book also suggests it is one reason women are often quite vocal during sex. Her noises (in pre-history and pre-patriarchy) would act as a mating call to other partners to "come and get me while I'm hot."
This also makes perfect sense to me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
If you are not culturally programmed to be jealous of another guy boning your wife/gf, why wouldn't it be arousing to watch her physically involved with another partner? It could even be a socially bonding thing between the 2 (or more) males involved.

I think Sex at Dawn is a very interesting book, and I hope other polyamorous people find it as enlightening as I did.
I had an experience one evening while with a group of friends (about 5 couples) where me and the wife of one of the men were sitting back (she and I were satiated) and as we watched her husband having intercourse with another woman. She affectionately said- "look at him"- and we both sighed and watched with smiles on our faces.
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  #29  
Old 06-24-2012, 03:48 AM
butterflywaterfall butterflywaterfall is offline
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Ok, to weigh in...
My bf explained to me that he really wanted to watch me have sex with another man and I didn't understand why. He explained that it wasn't because he was a voyeur, as I was thinking. He's not particularly into that. He doesn't want to watch; he wants to participate. But sometimes he is 7-10,000 miles away and can't really be here.
What he wanted to see with me being with someone else was my reaction. When he's on top of me, or behind me or wherever he is, he can't SEE everything. He doesn't see every movement my body makes or my every reaction to his touch. And that is what he was looking for. He wanted to be able to see me receiving pleasure from a different perspective.
He did watch a couple of times long distance and that was pleasurable to a point, but he didn't enjoy that voyeur only kind of view. When he got home we had a threesome and it was so hot. He felt much better then as well because he could watch me and touch me at the same time.
As far as how I felt about it...it was a little strange to have him watching me on camera. I was very self conscious about what I was doing and making sure he could see what he wanted so the spontaneous nature of things was disrupted. It was much better when he was present. I did have a drink or three before we got started because I had never done that before but once things got going it felt like the most natural experience in the world.
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  #30  
Old 06-26-2012, 11:15 AM
threesnocrowd threesnocrowd is offline
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Hi Butterfly. Compared to all the very nice responses on here, I think yours is the most reflective of our relationship and why I think its so beautiful to see my woman with another man. I think you hit the nail on the head and articulated it better than I could myself. I am just wondering how unusual I am in this sense. I love to participate and help out the other guy and my wife while we're all making love but I really love watching her enjoy herself and really get into the moment. Maybe I'm nuts, I have no idea. Thoughts?
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