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  #61  
Old 09-24-2010, 02:19 PM
Ragabash Ragabash is offline
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I'd commented that I'd post if poly has been worth it for me once I knew better how things would go with J, and I'm quite sure I know now that she's not interested. The emotions are still raw and fresh, I feel stupid for believing in false hopes and seeing signs that weren't there, and I hate having to bottle my emotions up at work through the day. I've thought to myself "wasn't this supposed to be over when I got married" about the emotional rollercoaster.

So in the end, I think I have my answer about whether all the pain and regret I'm feeling right now was worth it, and will be worth it if I go through it again.


Yes.
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  #62  
Old 09-24-2010, 07:53 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragabash View Post
So in the end, I think I have my answer about whether all the pain and regret I'm feeling right now was worth it, and will be worth it if I go through it again.


Yes.
Wow! Way to keep things in perspective and really progressive! <<hugs>>
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  #63  
Old 09-25-2010, 01:00 PM
Ragabash Ragabash is offline
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Originally Posted by Morningglory629 View Post
Wow! Way to keep things in perspective and really progressive! <<hugs>>
I've never once in my life regretted the emotions that came with falling for someone, I'm not about to start now. It might not have turned out well in the end, but I had a happy summer believing it could. I'll take that for what it's worth.
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  #64  
Old 09-26-2010, 08:31 PM
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maca maca is offline
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Well yesterday was our one year anniversary of being Poly. We had a hugh blow out and it dam near ended in divorce. Is being poly worth it? I believe it is but I will say its not easy or the "magic pill".

Like everything in my life, its a never ending learning process.



Maca
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  #65  
Old 09-26-2010, 10:56 PM
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Originally Posted by maca View Post
Well yesterday was our one year anniversary of being Poly. We had a hugh blow out and it dam near ended in divorce. Is being poly worth it? I believe it is but I will say its not easy or the "magic pill".

Like everything in my life, its a never ending learning process.



Maca
Was the blow out a year ago or yesterday? I'm assuming it was a year ago, am I right?
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  #66  
Old 09-26-2010, 11:59 PM
ThatRomanticGeek ThatRomanticGeek is offline
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Well, I'll throw my opinion in.

Anybody who's been following my threads over in the "New to Poly" forum knows it's been a journey for me.

Long story short, I don't think I'm wired for poly. I think I'm wired for mono. But I love seeing my wife be honest and open with herself. She's kept this buried deep down for years, saying she felt happy enough. Now that she's out of the poly closet, we've had a lot of fun and connection and, I think, have really learned to respect each other in a new light. I don't want her to go back.

That said, I just had a really painful breakup with a girlfriend because I'm married. She's mono, and she knew I was married, but she couldn't deal with that. I treated my relationship with her as more-or-less mono (I tried not to remind her I was married) and I found that what I had with her is the kind of relationship I want.

So it's a bit of a tricky place. I love my wife, I love seeing her be herself, and I'm not in any hurry to leave, but at the same time, I do feel a little like I'm missing something. I could probably satiate that sensation somewhat with another poly relationship, but I don't know if I'll ever feel completely fulfilled. My wife and I accept this about each other, and if the day comes where we need to deal with that, we'll deal with that then.
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  #67  
Old 09-27-2010, 02:34 AM
kymberleea kymberleea is offline
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Question is poly worth it

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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Hopelessly adorable.

Most of our "hell's" had nothing to do with polyamory and everything to do with getting real with ourselves.

I keep praying to find my poly situation so far no such lucky each time i think its possible something happens to mess things up but i keep being positive and learning is it worth it to me yes i think so in the long run i am hopeful that some day i can attend a poly meeting and be like hey you guys and say yep it was a struggle but in the long run we are happy and it was worth it will it happen yepppers i am positive that someday some way it will for me too just takes time and lots and lots of patience and the right kind of people to fall in place for me


kym the hopeless dreamer
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  #68  
Old 09-28-2010, 12:11 AM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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We are all so wired to think that we have to go through absolutely knee deep shit (sorry) in order to have some sort of personal growth or to gain that elusive self knowledge! Maybe, just maybe, we don't, and if we were more happy more of the time, instead of riding the heroin high then crashing in a ditch somewhere, curled up in the fetal position, the journey would be MORE pleasurable for everyone!

Just sayin....

Apologies in advance for the random thought....and graphic analogies! Feeling a bit full of it today....
P2
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  #69  
Old 09-28-2010, 01:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
Was the blow out a year ago or yesterday? I'm assuming it was a year ago, am I right?
No, it was this Saturday.
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  #70  
Old 09-28-2010, 01:39 AM
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good graphic analogy.

I personally agree with you PP.

Seriously feel like if there was more "just live your life" and less "this is how it's SUPPOSED to be",

we could avoid a LOT of stupid pain and misery.
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