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  #11  
Old 03-30-2010, 02:54 AM
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Make a shopping date?
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  #12  
Old 03-30-2010, 03:39 AM
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Originally Posted by geminigirl View Post
Make a shopping date?
This can actually be a great idea. My hubby and I had a good time doing this after I discovered Torrid (think Hot Topic for larger sized women). I had bought one dress, a pair of fishnets, and my first pair of thigh high suede boots (god I love them!) for a date. It was the first time I had really felt sexy in a long time and then he sees me in this outfit and you could just see his eyes light up.

So a few weeks later I said, lets go shopping. We went to Torrid and I said, pick out some clothes for me to try on. Came home with a few more things, but the time spent doing this together was a lot of fun...and we both HATE shopping!
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  #13  
Old 03-30-2010, 04:07 AM
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Hahaha!! I agree with Gemini Girl !!! and for me and my guys.....it's about the quality of the time spent together not the quanity. I don't tend to spend more than 15 hours at a time with a partner (including sleep time) and only once a week to twice a month with each one...... just because I like a lot of alone time for myself. We do things in groups too which is fun and stimulating also. One night, it was me, Charles, Richard and Holland. Holland and I decided to dress up in wigs and erotic wear....and then did a strip tease while the guys put dollar bills in our bras and panties!! But as far as alone time, I find that sometimes it's the simple things that give the most pleasure.....my guys never get tired of back scratches, foot rubs, shoulder rubs, soaking in the jacuzi.....and let's just be honest here......(the guys) wouldn't complain if I greeted them at the door (dressed as Gemini girl suggested) and took them straight to the bedroom for a nice erotic sexual encounter.....and then proceeded to go straight to sleep.
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  #14  
Old 03-30-2010, 07:05 AM
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You've seen my calender Derby... its just is like that, busy and most of what I talk about with those I want to see is when!

I have fucked up so many times with getting times wrong, so I try to always check and hope people have patience. Those who don't live the way I do aren't as patient. They think I don't want to see them, which is far from the truth!

My sister in law for instance who has decided will come and visit this weekend. I have a full schedule already with little to no room in it. She is aggravated that I have made plans, but really they were made about two weeks ago. I try and make long term plans because I like to look forward to things and short term plans because I like to be busy and then leave a little extra time for stuff to come up.

I have somethings set more in stone than others so that I make sure they happen... Tuesday and Friday are Mono night sleepovers. Sunday is Nerdist's night... and sometimes another night if we can actually go and do something. Monday is more of an at home night, Thursday is a gym night for me and that leaves Wednesday and Saturday. The days are filled with work and child. Sigh... I love it, but it becomes a navigational nightmare sometimes... where I get little to no time for me...

I'm getting better at that though and better at keeping everyone up to date. Mono has a calender I bought him that I up date once a week almost. It tells him when and what we are doing. He leaves it all up to me to organize his social life, pretty close to that anyways... Nerdist I kick out of the house once in a while as he becomes a permanent fixture otherwise. he comes and goes on being social... he gets overwhelmed by too much and then hermits again. We have all worked it out now and it hums like a fine machine at the moment. Took some growing pains, but we got there. I'm sure it will change again though. change is inevitable.
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  #15  
Old 03-30-2010, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by geminigirl View Post
Make a shopping date?
I would have a date with you to do this any day Derby!
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  #16  
Old 03-31-2010, 02:34 AM
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There is also the idea of time in terms of quality and quantity... is this part of what you meant Derby?
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  #17  
Old 03-31-2010, 02:38 AM
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There is also the idea of time in terms of quality and quantity... is this part of what you meant Derby?
Yes that is part of what I meant. You can spend a lot of time in the same room or house as someone and still not actually spend any real time with them. Sometimes it's hard to make the time you have count. Or not so much hard but easier to fall into the habit of letting technology get in the way. Scheduled power outages might help with that .
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  #18  
Old 04-02-2010, 01:50 AM
Vexxed Vexxed is offline
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I'm in a relationship with a married woman. Her other boyfriend and I live in the same house. She lives 3 miles away from us. In the month of March, I went on 4 dates with her. On one of those dates her husband and I were both with her. Looking back over the month, I feel like I didn't get to spend enough time with her. I feel like it is hard from me to build comfort and relax with her because I have to "perform". When I spend more time with her, I feel more relaxed.

Her other boyfriend, who is my roommate, hasn't been interested in "together" dates with her. I'm disappointed in that. All of the people involved know that I like group dates. So far, I've gone on more with her and her husband. I think that my roommate and I have had 3 nights with her where we watched a movie with her together. And I've been in this arrangement for 5 months.

There is one guy that wants to date her, and she is turning him down, but there is also one guy that I think she may date. She does like him, but she says that she is too busy, and she has one other reservation about him.

Honestly, I'm worried that I will get to see her even less if she takes on a 4th lover. To this point, I've encouraged her to date others if she wants to. I haven't been totally honest about my worries of spending less time with her.

I don't want to rock the boat. I've just gotten over a bout of insecurity. I don't feel like I should mention that I'd rather her not date anyone else because I don't want to share her "boyfriend time". I'm sure that the extra time will not come out of her husband's time with her.

Also, she is my only partner right now, so my only relationship fulfillment comes from her.
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  #19  
Old 04-02-2010, 02:51 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexxed View Post
..........
I don't want to rock the boat. I've just gotten over a bout of insecurity. I don't feel like I should mention that I'd rather her not date anyone else because I don't want to share her "boyfriend time". I'm sure that the extra time will not come out of her husband's time with her.
Hey Vexxed,

Well - excuse the pun - it seems she's spreading herself a little thin
That fact that she is your only relationship is naturally aggravating the situation for you. But I suspect it's taking some toll on everyone else too whether they voice it or not.

How about you just express this thought to her in a general, non-confrontational way. That although love & caring is unlimited - time is NOT. And if she places any real value on other people's feelings she might want to think about whether she is spreading herself out too much and maybe shortchanging everyone else's needs.

Time IS one of those things you have to learn to balance and for some it will absolutely mean cutting back on some things just out of fairness.

Just a thought...........

GS
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