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  #51  
Old 10-14-2010, 02:12 PM
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Best wishes for you all in the new arrangements... sounds like a wonderful life ahead
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  #52  
Old 10-14-2010, 03:50 PM
gr8xpectations gr8xpectations is offline
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Mono and RP, I am soooo excited to be at this same point of finally beginning cohabitation! Reading through this thread has definitely given me a boost and I feel even more secure that this is the right thing and we are prepared.

We are fortunate to have a large house where my husband, R, and I have a huge master suite and the kids bedrooms are on the same side of the house as ours, then the living area is in the middle of the house, and my boyfriend, D's, suite is on the other side of the house.

I own my own design company and work mainly from home, so I have the whole house to myself during the day while the guys work at outside jobs and the kids are at school. So that is all of the alone time I need!

I am a very passionate person, and I have struggled with bouts of severe depression since the age of 12. It has only been the past 3 years or so that I have really been able to get a handle on it. My guys fulfill very different parts of me. R is my rock. He is the stable, perfect father and husband. Extremely family oriented, homebody, and can handle my mood swings without blinking an eye :-) D is my fun, my passion, my sexy toy, who I also connect with on a very deep level. I can't imagine being without either of them . . .

Luckily, we are all 3 above average intelligence with similar views on religion, politics and love. R and D have been able to become good friends and D has bonded greatly with our children.

I know not every day will be perfect, but I feel that we will always find a way to make it work.
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  #53  
Old 10-14-2010, 04:44 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
We are doing a great job shaping the space and RP is an incredible help with many things but there are times when I feel like I hurt her if I don't take her suggestions.
I'm really good at throwing out a bunch of suggestions, but I find that I get hurt more when my husband goes ahead with stuff without telling me that he would prefer it a different way. When he doesn't say anything, I feel like I have been ignored.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
My privacy is a concern as my bed is not in a separate room but will be in the living room...this leads to increased anxiety about people visiting her room because they essentially go through my living space.
Based on other comments you have posted, this concerns me. I would definitely keep this one open for immediate change if necessary. I definitely like the folding screen idea, could make a world of difference.
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  #54  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:05 PM
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To clarify, the house is pretty separate, and it is only Redpepper that will have a major presence there. This is completely fine with me as I love knowing she is close. I also look forward to having her son around and am plenty comfortable with PN as I view him in a brotherly way. They are family.

I have been in my current apartment for a year and the only people to visit me are PN, Redpepper, her son and just recently Derby. That's it, no one else. My concerns around privacy and sense of respecting my personal space that I am renting has to deal mostly with imagined scenarios that may never happen LOL! It's just how my brain works

I look forward to hearing how others are doing with this co-habitation dynamic as well
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  #55  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:12 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I look forward to hearing how others are doing with this co-habitation dynamic as well
I am interested as well. As a mostly private person I find the idea of a large familial co-habitation setup interesting. I am not sure I could do it. Pengrah is hit or miss, I think in some ways she loves the idea, but she would need her own living space too.

Now...2 houses, same street, lots of places to escape...that sounds more my style ...

So ya, just babbling and watching. Curious how this works for people
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  #56  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:28 PM
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What happens for me around my suggesting is that I say my idea and then get no response, so I say it again. Maybe it comes across as persistence when really I'm waiting to hear something like "that's a good idea, I will consider that."

We have a room divider. I just need help bring it down. It would work great in the hall.
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  #57  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What happens for me around my suggesting is that I say my idea and then get no response, so I say it again. Maybe it comes across as persistence when really I'm waiting to hear something like "that's a good idea, I will consider that."
Or even "I don't think that will work because...".
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  #58  
Old 10-14-2010, 06:09 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What happens for me around my suggesting is that I say my idea and then get no response, so I say it again. Maybe it comes across as persistence when really I'm waiting to hear something like "that's a good idea, I will consider that."

We have a room divider. I just need help bring it down. It would work great in the hall.
Thanks for reminding me of that Lilo, I'll be more careful in the future

I don't need that kind of space from you Gorgeous, but the screen is a good idea. Smooch, smooch
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  #59  
Old 10-15-2010, 03:54 AM
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*big grin*
I'm so happy for all of you Mono! What an exciting part of your journey, to share a household together <3
I bet Redpepper is also super excited to have you so close by!
I'm looking forward to hearing about some of your challenges and successes with the new arrangement and I hope the challenges are few and far between!
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  #60  
Old 10-15-2010, 06:39 AM
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I think it's so cool how you are all making it work! It's so encouraging to read about. O said that if I were to ever move in he would want his own apartment and A and I could share the house since she and I are both messy.
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cohabitation, equality, living together, marriage vs. polyamory, moving in, nre

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