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  #221  
Old 04-19-2011, 05:41 AM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
This morning I woke up early and headed out to turn the compost piles and collect all the new soil for gardening. I didn't feel like I was doing it for anyone in particular but that I was doing it for the household. I felt like I used to when I had a house of my own with a yard to maintain. It was about taking responsibility for the environment I am in. This is a step forward for me....a breakdown in my thinking of being a "tenant" and more like being just another family member in the house.

As I was finishing PN stopped by to chat before heading of to visit his family. Redpepper was tucked away in bed recovering from a super social weekend.

Half a year in and things just seem to be getting better and better
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  #222  
Old 06-05-2011, 06:45 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Default Eight months later..

Yesterday a friend came by for a short visit and I took him for a walk around my suite. I ended up simply pointing out rooms to him found there was not much else to talk about. What is there to talk about with respect to co-habitating?? It works wonderfully by most accounts. PN and I have never had a conflict relating to living in the same house. The entire extended family is so well adapted that I sometimes forget that this is not just the way people do things in general.

PN has started planning for a BBQ in the back yard which is great because there is a lot of space for friends to enjoy and socialize in which has gone underused because they always had tenants.

Every now and then I have that feeling of needing to hide the true arrangement of our house from my professional friends....those I work with. Most know I rent the suite of my girlfriend but can't quite figure out our dynamic LOL! I think most people have less openness with certain individuals or groups so I don't feel this is unhealthy...it's more logical cautiousness I think.

So in summary....this rocks
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  #223  
Old 08-04-2011, 05:18 PM
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Something I found online about multi-partner households:



CHALLENGES OF LIVING TOGETHER AS A POLY FAMILY

So why is this model so difficult to sustain? Ironically, the reasons most of these families disintegrate so quickly have nothing to do with polyamory. Instead, they fail because of the difficulties of living together: conflicts over housework, kids, money, space and privacy. Everyone must be able to reach agreement on all these questions:

• where to live;
• what house to buy or rent;
• whether to pool financial resources;
• how much money to spend and what expenditures are acceptable;
• how clean to keep the house and who will be responsible for which chores;
• what kind of food to buy and who will cook meals;
• how much privacy or personal time each partner will have;
• how much time will be spent as a family;
• whether to have children, how many children, how will they be cared for, and what styles of child-rearing are acceptable.

Excerpted from -

http://www.lovemore.com/articles/plstyle.php
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  #224  
Old 08-04-2011, 05:46 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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But we're in loooooooooove! All that other stuff isn't important and will sort itself out because we're in looooove and it's so perfect. We just need a great big huge bed so we can cluster- fuck every night and no one feels left out. Unless one of us isnt in the mood; we cant have sex unless it's all seven of us together at the same time. Also, it has to be a daisy-chain. Don't say anything that will ruin our fantasy of the perfect poly famblee or i'll get mad at you for judging us.

(this has been a public service announcement)
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  #225  
Old 08-04-2011, 05:57 PM
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I think I'm the sort of person who could have a multi-partner cohabitation thingy work out pretty well. I've become pretty flexible and resilient. But, of course, the other parties would also have to be flexible, resilient, and engaged in creative problem solving as well.

Of course, there'd be need for a bigger house!, with more rooms.

And just to go ahead and speak the obvious, we (whoever we may be) would have to gradually try it out ... by first developing a pattern of close friendship and shared meals, and occasional overnight stays.... It would not make sense to jump right into sharing a house all of a sudden.
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  #226  
Old 08-06-2011, 01:41 AM
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they fail because of the difficulties of living together: conflicts over housework, kids, money, space and privacy.
this is why I suggest waiting until the NRE has worn off and all that is left is that happy feeling of being together while you sip tea and fold laundry...

thins with your list is, when you are in looooooooove as Neon put it you dont see straight cause you are on the NRE drugs and will agree to anything, cause you are drugged

ya, wait a year I say, at least a year!
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  #227  
Old 08-08-2011, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Everyone must be able to reach agreement on all these questions:

where to live;
what house to buy or rent;
whether to pool financial resources;
how much money to spend and what expenditures are acceptable;
how clean to keep the house and who will be responsible for which chores;
what kind of food to buy and who will cook meals;
how much privacy or personal time each partner will have;
how much time will be spent as a family;
whether to have children, how many children, how will they be cared for, and what styles of child-rearing are acceptable.
Has anyone drawn up any household contracts? I did one with Flattie, although it was never formally approved and signed. We addressed most of those issues in the contract.
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  #228  
Old 08-10-2011, 02:35 PM
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Has anyone drawn up any household contracts?
I'd be very, very worried about myself and my partner/s if we had to draw up a "household contract" and have it signed. This does not seem like an adult--adult, but more like an adult--child, sort of relationship. Daddy, Mommy have a troubled child who keeps "forgetting" to mow the lawn each Saturday, so Daddy draws up a contract for kiddie to sign....
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  #229  
Old 08-10-2011, 02:58 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I dunno River, having it in writing might help some couples. My ex used to complain I didnt provide healthy food on the table, and even when I listed the balanced meals I had made in recent weeks, and showed him the veggies in the fridge drawers and the fruit in a bowl on the kitchen table (either of which he could grab, peel and eat at any time), he'd bitch at me for bringing home ice cream now and then. Like it was my fault he couldnt just have a couple scoops of Ben and Jerry's and had to eat a whole pint at a sitting. *rolleyes*

Also, he passively aggressively "went on strike" (his words) and stopped doing any housework, and yard or home maintenance, leaving it all to me and the kids. He'd throw his coat over a dining room chair instead of hanging it on a hook in the mudroom, he'd clip his toenails and leave them in a growing pile on the bedroom floor!
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Last edited by Magdlyn; 08-10-2011 at 03:00 PM.
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  #230  
Old 08-10-2011, 03:04 PM
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Madlyn,

Doesn't sound like he'd have signed any damned contract, anyway, then. Sometimes you get a rock slide on the side of a steep rocky hillside, and there just ain't nothing gonna be done about it than to get out of the way and let it rumble down the canyon walls. You can't say, Stop! and have it sign a contract.
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