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#1
03-19-2010, 07:08 PM
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Which do you prefer ? An immediate connection, or a slow build-up ?
This is just a question born out of fun curiosity !
Which type of attraction do you prefer when you meet someone new ? Do you enjoy, (and possibly only follow) if there is a instant, passionate connection, or do you prefer to go slow, and have the feelings build up ? (Of course, this isn`t to say, that a instant connection, does not build up.) More like, the ' Intense eyes locking across the room ', vs. ' The pleasant surprises and feelings that come along the more you speak and are around someone.' I was thinking about myself, and any of the long-lasting, endearing, relationships I have ever had with women, always started out with that immediate connection. Where as, the relationships I had with men that I cherished, have come from the slow, build-up model. None of it was intentional, but it now has me curious about others. Share any stories you would like ! 
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#2
03-19-2010, 08:21 PM
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All the lovers in my life these days have been the slow build-up sort, at least in my recollection of things. We usually start as acquaintances, gradually become friends, and then suddenly a switch throws and I'm imagining the future.. I like the intensity happening later.
__________________
"I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms." - Chasing Amy
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#3
03-19-2010, 08:29 PM
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Immediate connection. Maybe its something I have to learn, but I find the slow moving thing gets me friendship only. And in my experience, I have never been able to cross that bridge with friends to lovers. Maybe its the way I make female friends, not sure.
This is obviously limiting, I have more female friends than I can count, and I really don't know how to approach being with someone who I have been friends with. haha...I have considered it with a couple but reall don't know how to breach that topic haha thanks, you just threw my brain into a small tailspin.
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#5
03-20-2010, 04:20 AM
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heheehee,
Both!! Maca was an INSTANT connection. GG was a slow build up. 
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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#6
03-20-2010, 07:04 AM
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Neither...both...
If I don't feel SOME connection right off the hop, I don't wait around to see if it grows. But I don't just fall head-over-heals right off the bat and leap without checking the depth of the water.
__________________
I am who I am. I don't need labels to define me. They're sticky, and I hate the glue they leave behind.
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#7
03-20-2010, 07:31 AM
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Slow build-up followed by rutting like rabbits.
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#8
03-20-2010, 02:13 PM
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While that instant draw and the let's find a room has a certain romantic appeal to it, it's not a basis on which I have been able to build deep and lasting relationships (which is my preference).
Yes, I think there to be some sort of chemistry there from the get-go, but even then that's not mandatory. I like to get to know someone and really get to know their mind before taking it more intimate - sometimes once I get to know their minds the spark disappears, sometimes it just grows more and more intense - those are the good ones.
__________________
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
http://www.thebirdcage.org/ "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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#9
03-21-2010, 02:27 PM
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Quote:
I wonder if this might make an interesting thread in itself ? How DO you approach someone that you already have a close friendly relationship with the potential of taking it to another level ? Love to hear insights others may have on this........ GS
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