Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 09-12-2010, 11:40 PM
geminigirl's Avatar
geminigirl geminigirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 111
Default

You looked great last night! I'm sorry I didn't get to spend more time chatting with you and getting your impressions (I didn't expect to be drafted to the nurse's station for half the night, lol) but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and it felt so good to have so many friends there.
Reply With Quote
  #102  
Old 09-12-2010, 11:46 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by geminigirl View Post
You looked great last night! I'm sorry I didn't get to spend more time chatting with you and getting your impressions (I didn't expect to be drafted to the nurse's station for half the night, lol) but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and it felt so good to have so many friends there.
Better you than I being drafted for the nurse station! I fear that I may have gone into work mode and actually performed real nursing procedures .
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #103  
Old 09-12-2010, 11:50 PM
geminigirl's Avatar
geminigirl geminigirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 111
Default

Haha! I think some of the "patients" may have loved that...
Reply With Quote
  #104  
Old 09-12-2010, 11:52 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by geminigirl View Post
Haha! I think some of the "patients" may have loved that...
That might be true but it's my weekend LOL
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #105  
Old 09-13-2010, 12:37 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,636
Default

I was hoping your collar would of worked last night to keep doms from checking out if you want to play. It seems to of except for that guy who touched your leg. Collars have become too much of a fashion statement. The whole idea is that doms know you are taken. Grrrr, I gave it to you so you could rely on it for protection. So you could say you were owned by redpepper. I know you can handle yourself though. You're capable for sure. Still, it pisses me off.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #106  
Old 09-13-2010, 12:52 AM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

I wouldn't have thought anything of it except that he was the kind of guy that I would find creepy in the regular world. I don't know that I would even have noticed if it wasn't for the creepy factor. I tend to touch people when I talk to them too, although I don't often touch strangers!
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #107  
Old 09-13-2010, 01:31 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Glad you were there..and thanks for coming for nachos and dress up first! You are officially the only person besides Redpeppers family to have been in my place...I'm sooo social
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #108  
Old 09-13-2010, 01:52 AM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Glad you were there..and thanks for coming for nachos and dress up first! You are officially the only person besides Redpeppers family to have been in my place...I'm sooo social
I'm honoured to have been invited. Thank you for calming my nerves ahead of time and cooking
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #109  
Old 09-20-2010, 01:40 AM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default Saying no

I just got home from our monthy women's group and I have a lot on my mind. The first thing that comes to mind is that a lot of women feel the need to be people pleasers and have a hard time saying no. I'm guilty of this sometimes too, yesterday was a good example of that. We had a derby bout, I wasn't on the roster but still felt like I had to say yes to volunteer to help out at the bout even though I didn't have a sitter for the kids so I had to impose on a friend who was also coming to watch. So I ran around all afternoon looking for costume items for the "boutfit", getting more and more irritable about the whole thing because it wasn't what I WANTED to do. Then I get there and I'm even more put out because I discover that the job that I was supposed to do had been given to someone else...so all the work of dragging the kids around looking for a costume was all for nothing!

Fortunately today has been better and I'm a much more pleasant person to be around. But then again today I wasn't having to do things because other people wanted me to. I went out for breakfast for a friend's birthday and then to the women's group meeting, no stress at all. Now the kids are off having dinner at one of their friend's houses and so I finished giving the main floor of my house a good clean (a clean house calms me even though I'm a terrible housekeeper). Some days it just really does have to be all about you.

One of the other things that came up today was relationships with parents. I have a good relationship with my mom and with my mother in law but have never developed a comfortable relationship with my dad as an adult and I really don't know how to relate to my father in law other than to talk to him about team stuff because he used to play lacross and I play roller derby but other than that I find it really hard just to chat to him. But I am fortunate that my parents don't withold love from me if I don't behave exactly as they want me to. I'm sure that I've done things that they aren't thrilled with but there is never any doubt that they love me. I can immagine that if your parents do withold love from you that you grow up to think that you aren't worthy of being loved if you're not giving all the time to make someone else happy.

Which leads back into the ability to say no. Maybe that's why I have an easier time with no than others do. I don't base my self worth on putting other's needs ahead of my own. I wouldn't think less of someone I loved if they said no to me with a request. But if you think someone will think less of you in your own head it must be hard to think that they won't. As for the rest of the world who cares what they think if you don't want to do what they want you to!

This post seems really scattered and doesn't make a lot of sense, sorry. I'm still processing the meeting. Maybe I'll have more that's clearer later.
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #110  
Old 09-20-2010, 05:11 AM
Morningglory629's Avatar
Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 727
Default

Quote:
One of the other things that came up today was relationships with parents. I have a good relationship with my mom and with my mother in law but have never developed a comfortable relationship with my dad as an adult and I really don't know how to relate to my father in law other than to talk to him about team stuff because he used to play lacross and I play roller derby but other than that I find it really hard just to chat to him. But I am fortunate that my parents don't withold love from me if I don't behave exactly as they want me to. I'm sure that I've done things that they aren't thrilled with but there is never any doubt that they love me. I can immagine that if your parents do withold love from you that you grow up to think that you aren't worthy of being loved if you're not giving all the time to make someone else happy.
You remind me so much of my younger sister. She has a similar relationship with my parents- closer to mom. I am closer to my dad. This is a very insightful and empathetic post. My parents were also very hands-on(not in a playdate kind of way but in an encouraging actively proud way), supportive and loving in their own way. I cannot imagine any of us children (5 sibs) would be the independent-thinking, generous and loving people we are if there was any kind of rationed love exchange. Withholding love is a very cruel thing to do to a child, and wreaks havoc on a child's sense of stability and self efficacy. A child is an opus grande of your relationship. It is the one thing that you created in a loving act of sharing (for most people). It is a great responsibility of nurturing- this includes the gushy kind and the tough kind. It is a balancing act indeed, and I thank God that I am close to both my parents and my siblings. They give me the kind of support that makes me happy to be me and my parents instilled a confidence in me just by being loving and engaged.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
anticipation, anxiety, emotions, nervous

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:09 AM.