Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-25-2012, 03:14 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 437

This may sound like an overreaction, but have you considered changing colleges?

Some colleges just have a more conservative social climate than others. You don't have to stay at the same college; you can look into transferring to another college. Maybe one with a bigger LGBTQ (etc) community?

I think you need to find an environment where people don't refer to sexual women as "sluts and whores." Come on, that's not normal where I come from.

Or, if you have to stay at the same college for financial/logistical reasons, are there other colleges in the area that you could socialize at? Are you in a good-size city that might have its own poly community?

At the very least, try harder to make a different set of friends at this college.

Speaking as someone who dropped out of college for a year and then transferred elsewhere--it was traumatic at the time, but in the long run, I should have transferred much sooner.
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.
Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2012, 04:15 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 284

Every monogamous person I've mentioned it to (with the exception of one girl I know that wanted to date me) has said that it's not for them but more power to them. Sounds like your friends are not very mature yet.

Let's focus on college stereotypes for a moment. College is the time when you are free, wild, and crazy. You figure out if you're really bi, gay, straight. You go to parties and get hammered and sleep around and are unfaithful and a cheater or a "slut" or whatever. You're unethical, immoral, and so on. Why is all of this okay but wanting to add feelings, emotion, honesty, and love into the mix so wrong?

As far as "wanting more than one dick or hole". Yeah, so? I like variety and I have the capacity to love/fuck more than one person. Why is that wrong or getting away with anything? Sex is wonderful. I love it. Why limit yourself if you're mentally capable of handling the situations where you AREN'T limited?
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2012, 04:29 AM
lovefromgirl's Avatar
lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Meera, where there are Gen Y students in the US, there are probably people calling women "sluts and whores". I attended a ritzy rural school and a more urban community college, and I heard the same things. My generation grew up watching porn online and seems to think, simultaneously, that:

a) Girls (never women) owe them whatever porn stars do and
b) Girls who do these things are sluts and whores.

Both colleges I attended had a healthy, strong LGBTQ community. But I encountered poly soonest in (dysfunctional) practice at the first school... the rural enclave. (End of first semester, and there were STDs spread because nobody thought about safer sex. There but for the grace of pickiness go I...) The only experience I had with poly at my second school was being unicorn-hunted, just before graduation, and I do mean with weeks if not days to go.

I've transferred schools a total of five times, between four schools. It's tiresome and it delays the getting of a degree. The closest I got to leaving because of the social climate was the first one, and frankly I draw the line when Security doesn't bat an eyelash over drunk-ass undergraduates picking my lock, you know? So unless OP is fearing for hir safety, it's probably not time to go.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

Refuge in Audacity { home of the post-raph stunner }
Reply With Quote

relationship dynamics

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 05:32 AM.