Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-22-2012, 06:33 PM
insanity insanity is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 58
Default I finally had the gut to say it straight forward..

So, after whining here a lot about why I can't come straight forward to my bf, I did it anyway.

It was hardest thing to do, and very emotional, depressing and all that.
But he said he will try to understand me, it will take time.
I even showed him some stuff to read about poly, he didn't like that, couldn't read between the lines, I explained, he asked not to show him again, then he went and read for himself, ask if I could just say that I love her but only as a friend I said I won't lie and you'd know I am lying and it is worse so what's the point.

I also finally realized that I love him a lot, more than I thought, but loving her doesn't change a thin between us.

Sometimes he goes out of no where and says "but how can you say you love someone else" and i have to explain that it is not someone else instead of you. Or when I say I love you and he say it back and then say "but not only me". And I say I love you a lot, etc.

I feel SO relieved after talking to him about that.
But at the same time I feel so bad like I am hurting him.. it makes me cry all the time (also because of other non-related stresses in life) but still.

what should I do? how should I behave? I don't want to say in a moment when I feel really bad about it that I take it all back..
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-23-2012, 05:59 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
Default

Hang in there. Take a breath. It will take some time. Stay compassionate and walk throught he confusion one bit at a time. It's out now and in the long run you will both be better for it. You'll need to go at his pace and let him catch up. Good for you giving him reading material. Maybe he could join you here?
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-23-2012, 07:12 PM
insanity insanity is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 58
Default

Thanks for the reply
I am trying to hang in there, even when I feel really bad.. it is just so hard (but much easier than holding things inside\beating around the bush)

He can't join me here for a few reasons. He says he is not comfortable readong stuff.. (but I think he does read them anyway), I like this place and I want my privacy in here so I can vent\take advice, and also, he doesn't know English good enough and the 'translate' button doesn't do a good job.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
coming out

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:23 PM.