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  #1  
Old 04-06-2012, 07:09 AM
Nudibranch Nudibranch is offline
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Default Lobachevsky love

Writing from the temperate rainforest and the sea, Nudibranch here, composed of hyperbolic geometry and sea vegetables.

I am a bi rationalist woman, 53, married to a bi rationalist man, 51. We have been friends for 23 years, lovers for 18, cohabiting for 13, married for 10. We are child free. He’s an IT engineer; I’m a retired quantitative research methods specialist, 30 years, mostly in sustainability research and policy.

From my teens until 15 years ago I was actively poly; I didn’t have a word for it till 1990 or so. For the past decade I haven't been sure what I am. Our intent was to "queer marriage," for we do believe in the power and beauty of this sort of commitment for some of us. But one gets interpreted as straight and narrow in our part of the world when coupled in this way/configuration. And we're not the sort of people to run around wearing t-shirts that say, "Hey, I'm not what you think!" (Well, duh.)

I renewed my reading of this forum with a renewed need to think over a wonderful surprise that life has brought. The affection and attentions of a mutual friend of my husband's--warm, sincere, very family-ish, and directed at both of us--have thrown me into a tizzy in recent months. I realize that I, and we, got hobbled and ritualistic about some things these past few years...focused as we were on building a very strong foundation together...and genuinely being bonkers about each other. Mostly what I need is reminders to just slow down, trust myself, trust the process/unfolding, and trust love. And remember that while we have behaved monogamously these past 13 years together, that doesn't change who I am, or he is. In fact in discussing this, despite the panic on my part and confusion on his, we are falling in love all over again, being so honest with each other, taking such risks to be close. Of the friend we cannot say anything at this point. Only let it cascade down like sunshine.

But that is a complex issue, not an introduction.

So I'll close by saying I'm grateful for the chance to read all of your thoughts and experiences on how to be a big and loving human.

Last edited by Nudibranch; 04-06-2012 at 07:22 AM. Reason: Clarity, forgot something
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  #2  
Old 04-06-2012, 01:33 PM
Moonglow Moonglow is offline
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Welcome! Nice intro!

Last edited by Moonglow; 04-06-2012 at 01:33 PM. Reason: correct spelling
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  #3  
Old 04-08-2012, 11:57 AM
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FrankLee FrankLee is offline
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Default Polyamory and geometry

Nice to see sort of a brain teaser out there about Lobachevsky. Never heard of it, but looked it up on Wikipedia. Still don't understand it, but I find this fascination by polyamorists with geometry to be very interesting.

Welcome to the forum, and could you possibly elaborate on the Lobachevsky matter? If not, welcome anyway.
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Frank is an unattached recovering monogamist, poly dating straight male.
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  #4  
Old 04-08-2012, 03:11 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
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What does rationalist mean to you?
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  #5  
Old 04-10-2012, 07:14 AM
Nudibranch Nudibranch is offline
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Thank you for the welcomes.

Frank, I didn't mean to puzzle, and thank you for asking. I'll poke about in other areas of the forum to see where a reply might belong more appropriately. Fireplace I'm thinking, unless someone has a better suggestion. Then I'll note it here. The short version involves a fascination with patterns of increase and limit in the natural and cultural worlds, and how polyfidelity seems to ring to that same vibration.

Bunny, I'll take a bit of time to reflect on your simple but profound question, so my reply can have some structure and respect your eyeballs in reading it. ;D
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Old 04-19-2012, 02:29 PM
Nudibranch Nudibranch is offline
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OK, apologies for the delay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
What does rationalist mean to you?
Stoic, in the classical sense, coupled with Enlightenment, in the Science Blogs sense.

Thanks for asking.
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  #7  
Old 04-19-2012, 03:02 PM
Nudibranch Nudibranch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankLee View Post
Nice to see sort of a brain teaser out there about Lobachevsky. Never heard of it, but looked it up on Wikipedia. Still don't understand it, but I find this fascination by polyamorists with geometry to be very interesting.

Welcome to the forum, and could you possibly elaborate on the Lobachevsky matter? If not, welcome anyway.
Frank, thanks for asking. I finally got around to jotting up a reply. It's headered "Lobachevsky redux" and is over lurking near the fireplace, probably mapping the branching patterns in the flames or something like that.
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