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  #21  
Old 03-13-2010, 08:09 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Eugene,

Actually-your post brought a smile to my face. Calm, rational and much the way I generally think.
In the face of this stressor I have been ULTRA emotional which isn't really like me at all. But it's been good in some ways too.

I'll keep everyone posted. Can't write right now, more this evening when my Godson heads home.
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  #22  
Old 03-13-2010, 10:14 PM
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Ok,

I havent been responding to this issue publicly for many reasons.

1) I can't keep being GG's alter ego, I cant do everything for him. He needs to grow up and be a man.
2) If I was to go to that " game night", GG wouldnt bring LR up but I would have and I had palnned on bringing it up. Thing is that would just give his " friends" more ammo that not only was LR ruling over him so am I.
3) If I had things my way I would confront them in what ever manner I could ( as soon as I could) and give them a MAJOR piece of my mind and if fell apart then so be it. I feel like knocking teeth out and swelling eyes shut..................... But its not my way. It has to be GG's way.

Some of you may be thinking " yeah but its his friends and family". I did stand up for LR to my family. My bro and my Father both stepped backed and looked at the WHOLE picture and said OK we still love you all. My Mother however did not she choose the other path and hasnt talked to me or seen any of our kids in 11 years. RIGHT IS RIGHT and sometimes RIGHT is hard and painful.



I know this thread started as LR's issue with what is happening involving GG's friends and family and the past history. But I want to throw this out there for anyone that gets into a similar situation.

From MACA'S view,

As LR's Husband/friend/DOM I have a responsibility to protect and cherish her and her well being. Its a job that Im PROUD and HAPPY to have. So that being said, when her chosen B/F is the only one that can do anything about this hurtful situation ( for LR ) and he isnt/hasnt done anything about it. Then WHAT THE HELL am I supposed to do??? How do I protect her from GG. I know what I think I should do but in doing that I will hurt the one Im sworn to protect..... So I sit right on the edge NEVER letting LR fall and at the same time ready to pounce on anyone brave enough to try to hurt her or in GG's case niave enough to hurt her with out knowing what he is doing. Shitty place for a DOM to be Shitty place for anyone that loves someone to be.


So that being said, Please keep in mind that if there is somthing that you and only you can deal with and it affects others that you say you love. Then you owe it to your loved ones to FUCKING DEAL with it. Otherwise someone stronger then you will deal wioth it for you and the results wont be to your liking.......



Sorry I just needed to vent that out. Im really fucking pissed and my tounge hurts from bitting it for the last couple of weeks.


Peace and Love
MACA
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Last edited by maca; 03-13-2010 at 10:38 PM.
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  #23  
Old 03-13-2010, 10:32 PM
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3) LR wants him to be her DOM ( As I am) but he is not a DOM and never will be. But that is not somthing that I can tell ither of them. LR needs to figure that part out for her self. ( I only bring it up now because I think she has figured it out on her own as of now)
I definitely do not understand why you brought this up now, nor how it pertains to this topic. But OK....
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Old 03-13-2010, 10:43 PM
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I removed that part after talking to you about how you felt that it read like I was saying you were a dumb ass. I dont feel that way at all. I just hate how all of GG's friends think that your a controlling bitch. You wanting him to step up and be more " of a man" shows that you are not wanting to control and rule over him . I know that you never did want that, but they dont see it that way.

The point I guess I was trying to make is that he isnt a DOM but he can still stand up for you because its the right thing to do, because he loves you and because you love him.

Peace and Love
MACA
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  #25  
Old 03-14-2010, 02:09 AM
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Sorry I just needed to vent that out. Im really fucking pissed and my tounge hurts from bitting it for the last couple of weeks.


Peace and Love
MACA
Vent away, Brother.
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  #26  
Old 03-14-2010, 06:51 AM
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I love you Maca.
Thank you.
Thank you for adding that last little note.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Thank you for being willing to kick someone's ass if they are threatening to me, physically, mentally, socially, emotionally etc.
I love you very much and greatly appreciate all you do (including that random quicky this evening that you "demanded" as my Dom!)

XO
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  #27  
Old 03-14-2010, 04:47 PM
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Sorry I just needed to vent that out. Im really fucking pissed and my tounge hurts from bitting it for the last couple of weeks.

MACA
So glad to hear from you Maca !
You obviously understand the reality of the situation.

The "test" is on........

As scary & hurtful as it all is, it seems it had to happen sooner or later.

Either there will be growth, maturity and learning about priorities - or there won't. Little anyone else can do to steer that process except to paint a clear picture of what it is.

Hope it happens for you all

GS
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  #28  
Old 03-15-2010, 11:41 AM
EugenePoet EugenePoet is offline
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Yeah, Maca, it struck me that you're occupying a tough spot in this situation. I admire you immensely for stepping into your responsibility to LR.

As far as the workplace cabal goes, I have no doubt that you are smarter and more determined than any of them.

I suppose one difficulty is that I would see the goal as making permanent changes in certain people's opinions. That's not a job that can be accomplished by force, perhaps. But you're there and I ain't, so you and LR are the ones who will know.

No need to say you're sorry for anything you've written. It makes sense and needed to be said.
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  #29  
Old 03-15-2010, 07:01 PM
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LR, I'm dying to know what happened. I'm desperately hoping that things went well and issues got resolved, at least partially. The second you explained about Loyalty, I got it. I'm thinking good energy thoughts your way.
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  #30  
Old 03-15-2010, 07:09 PM
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Okay. Poor GG! I mean really. The man is cornered it sounds like. Knowing his history as I do and perhaps others on here, I totally get why this is a struggle for him. He has known these guys for 14 years? They are his peeps! Just as you and maca are LR.

He is also in a tough spot as I see it. Know doubt he is not so stupid he doesn't know it. He is being asked to do some major shifting and changing in his life this year as becoming an official boyfriend to you, an official family member to your whole family and now he has to face his friends and risk losing them at such a tentative time?! Not fair I think. Can that not wait? You are asking him to trust his position in the family enough to possibly chose you all over what sounds like his only other support system.

I totally get this sucks for you. Believe me, I have been there with nerdists friends. They thought I was a repeat of his last girlfriend (controlling and bossy) . I had to earn their trust by getting involved. Talking with them, calling them up and asking them to take nerdist out because I knew he felt torn between me and them and because I knew that his friends thought I wouldn't let him out. They were impressed and had no other alternative than to give me a chance. I charmed them basically. Otherwise, as Eugenepoet said, they would call me a bitch for being angry and frustrated.

Nerdist had to decide between the bond of his friends and me. I chose to make it so that he didn't have to. As it has turned out, he became so wrapped up in me and our life together he lost interest in their ways and stood up for me when they became judgmental again. He couldn't of put up with it a moment longer by then because what we have meant more and was more safe to him than the safety of his friends. He couldn't bare to have that challenged any more.

Why? Because he trusted his place in my life by then. He felt secure and safe within that.

I would suggest, for many different reasons, GG doesn't feel safe enough to leave the security of his friends yet. Or challenge their behaviour. He doesn't agree with them. You know that LR. He just needs time I think and needs to be encouraged and helped, not told he isn't a man because he doesn't do things like maca does. He doesn't have the same sense of security maca does. He is protecting himself. He needs to feel like he has a safe place to come home to when he finally challenges them.

With all due respect and possibly not knowing all the details, have patience and find ways to help him with this. That is what my version of family is, to help those I love by sucking up my hurt and facing diversity with a big smile and be a gracious host sometimes. Bake them some cookies and give the biggest and baddest a call and tell them you are so glad they are GGs buddy because he needs them to be supportive. See what happens, its worth a try. I wonder if they won't melt a little, maybe enough to see you aren't the bitch they think you are. This is no issue for a dom. This is between you and GG. Maca should be sitting back and supporting both of you by just being an active listener in my opinion.
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