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Old 04-16-2012, 07:22 PM
polypenguin polypenguin is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 133

I had a similar experience which I posted about here a couple weeks ago. Though it was not particularly the same situation, the moral of the story was still the same: I let my ambitions, that is being poly/open right now blur my better judgement.

it took much typing with people, and plenty of serious introspection to realize I was being an idiot. The things people had to say were not what I wanted to hear, and it took a lot for see that.

I guess what i'm saying is please try to listen, and genuinely look into what you and others are doing. You need to ask yourself honsetly, "is this the absolute best action/reaction I can have in this situation?"

there is some excellent advice here, please listen to what everyone has to say. You may not want or like to hear it, but it will help at least to listen.
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:05 PM
Heropsychodream Heropsychodream is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13

Originally Posted by Heropsychodream View Post

I think I need to let this thread die and resurrect it a few months down the line so you guys can see what happened. I'd especially like to thank and annabelmore and Nycindie. You both offered critical but constructive feedback and helped me through this process. I don't think this horse needs to be beaten in public
OP Update!

So a few months have passed and I'm ready to report what happened:

The board suggested that I put my foot down and let my wife and Ahmed know that their relationship is just a train about to fly off the track into some serious emotional pain because everything was just too incompatible. Well, I did that! Putting my foot down didn't break them up but it caused my wife to seriously consider the future and to search herself. Ahmed wasn't capable of this at all. After she started prodding him to answer questions about their diverging life goals, new revelations came out.

It turns out Ahmed has had an online Saudi girlfriend (met once, families support the union) for 4 years. My wife was hurt that he hid this from her. The girlfriend was hurt when she found out too. Secondly, it was uncovered that Ahmed has a serious problem with internet pornography and has "cybered" with over 1000 women (so he claims). Psychologically, he has learned that he can treat women as sexual tools he can put up when he isn't interested. When my wife wanted to hang out, he would sit and play video games but when he was horny you can bet he was interested in sexual activities. Things broke down pretty quickly after this and they split up in May 2012. He is still a virgin today so he isn't damned by his religion.

Still, I have learned A LOT from this experience. I got two hot threesomes out of it and we are much closer and secure because of it. We have taken a step down and are going to try swinging in the fall (which is what I really wanted). She has found a couple and she thinks the girl is hot and insists that I experience another partner... and I am definitely interested .

Oh yeah; one cool thing about polyamory is when she broke up with him I got to keep all his video games and stuff that he left over at our place. Boo ya!

Sorry to bump a thread from page 8 but many of you posted and deserve credit for this turning out so well. Thank you to everyone who posted!

Last edited by Heropsychodream; 07-15-2012 at 04:08 PM.
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:04 PM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Tri-State
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Originally Posted by Heropsychodream View Post
Oh yeah; one cool thing about polyamory is when she broke up with him I got to keep all his video games and stuff that he left over at our place. Boo ya!

I'm happy to hear everything has been resolved, and in ways that have allowed the relationship between you and your wife to be strengthened.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:01 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
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Thanks for the update. Maybe the swing thing, rather than the poly thing is more what you are both looking for.

Good luck!

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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Old 07-16-2012, 12:42 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by Heropsychodream View Post
. . . one cool thing about polyamory is when she broke up with him I got to keep all his video games and stuff that he left over at our place. Boo ya!
Really? I can never keep things left behind by people with whom my interactions turned sour. Too much negative energy every time I see the stuff. The games aren't worth thinking of him every time you play them. Sell them and make some cash instead!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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cultural differences, religion, religious, religious differences

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