Moving on in life

[vodkafan]

Originally Posted by dingedheart

" Why haven't you discover the paternity. What do the birth records say? Aren't you defacto on the hook unless proven otherwise until the kid reaches majority.

Where is she living now?

What happened to the BF? Whats his position on the child?

Hi dinged, well, the other guy dumped her when she got pregnant. At the time I thought we would survive, because the whole time of our "poly" she told me that she wanted the marriage, right? But then after 12 weeks of her basically being a crazy person and telling me that we were over I got worn down, threw in the towel and moved out for the sake of the kids . Even after this I took her to all the scans and hospital appointments.
But then she had him at the birth.
She had lied to me (only one of many lies) and told me that a female friend had came from France to be with her at the birth. I found out the truth when he texted me to gloat and wind me up.
However, I have since worked out that he only did that because he was jealous of me; he does not have things his way.
My wife lives in our old house . (which I part own)with all the kids except the one at university.
He lives in his flat and I live in mine
She doesn't want to live with anybody. She doesn't want a divorce either. She doesn't want to know who's baby it is. The Birth certificate has been left blank.
I know that we (me and the other guy) both visit the baby at different times. Although I believe I see her more because I come and go at the house most days to see my children.
I think this is because if he finds out the baby is mine he will not want to know; If I find out the baby is his I will not want to know.
I have my own problems so I have not pushed anything; the baby is small and will be around a long time, there will be time later to sort things out.
Babies just need love.

[dingedheart]

Why is she resistant to divorce? She told you the relationship was over... and doesn't want to live with you or anyone, etc , etc... so whats the motivation to stay legally hooked??? Money ...or So you cant remarry? In my case my wife want to "dedicate " the rest of her life to make it up to me and the kids and start over. Not going to happen but that's her motivation for not wanting a divorce.

Does the BF kick in any money towards the child or expenses?

So you were good enough to cart her around to all the appointments but not needed at the birth....nice. Did you ever confront her with that?

Did you see the Birth certificate? Or is this what you were told? The child's last name was blank or her maiden Name.?

[vodkafan]

Hi Dinged, yes I saw the Birth Certificate. The space for father's name is left blank. However the baby has my surname, as she wanted it to be the same as all the other children's.

I have no idea why she does not want a divorce, or anything about the other guy's relationship with the baby, as we don't discuss anything important at the moment.

It is sort of like we have both pulled back to lick our wounds and recover.