Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-22-2015, 01:07 PM
JessicaBurde's Avatar
JessicaBurde JessicaBurde is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Northeast Pennsylvannia, USA
Posts: 32
Lightbulb Polyamory and Mental Illness: New Blog Series

The Polyamory and Mental Illness blog series starts today on Polyamory on Purpose. I'll be covering everything what basic facts of mental illness, to supporting poly partners with mental illness, to (some of) the many and varied ways mental illness can impact poly relationships.

The intersection of polyamory and mental illness is almost never discussed, but is a huge issue for many in the community who struggle with everything from bipolar disorder to anxiety to schizophenic disorders.

Requests/suggestions for additional topics as the series goes on are welcome. If you'd be interested in writing a guest post on your personal experience of polyamory and mental illness, please let me know!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-22-2015, 07:02 PM
WeWerentHunting WeWerentHunting is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 42
Default BiPolar Wife

I have been diagnosed BiPolar since 2000--I certainly am interested in sharing my road and to learn more from others who have followed the same road. Our girlfriend also shows signs of an undiagnosed mental disorder that Hubby and I have been trying to work with her on. Please feel free to ask me or Hubby about the last 15 year rollercoaster that we have been living.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-22-2015, 09:55 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 7,004
Default

Sounds like a good blog series to start, Jessica. I've been diagnosed with a number of disorders over the years ... details can be found at http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...252#post262252 for the interested.

If you're curious about how my condition/s has/have affected my relationships, I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have for me. Post me a post, or PM me a PM.

I also don't mind if there's any info in my blog link above that you'd like to use.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-22-2015, 11:01 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 303
Default

I am really excited for this series, it's a fantastic idea! I think poly relationships, when lived well, can be a really amazing support network for those who face challenges of all kinds, including mental illness. Having multiple loving relationships with partners who understand and care can, I think, can provide a kind of stability and reassurance that can augment other treatments very successfully, and enhance the lives of all involved.

It would also be interesting to read something about the challenges that Cluster B personality issues present, which are usually very different that illnesses like depression and bi-polar disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personalty, and Narcissistic Personality, I think, present potentially difficult challenges in many relationship styles. I bring these three up specifically because they have the potential to impact informed consent by those they interact with, are difficult to treat, and, unfortunately, poly can be potentially fertile ground for fostering, rather than helping heal, these illnesses. It is also a life choice that often appeals to Nacissistic personalities, and an informative post about the challenges that represents and where to get help in coping with those challenges would be fantastic!
__________________
Bi Female in VA with a passion for outdoor adventure, cooking, reading, health and fitness, and adventure!

Relationship saturated, and not looking for additional partners.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-23-2015, 12:33 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 7,004
Default

I had not previously heard of histrionic personality ... Narcissism I knew of, and I was once diagnosed with borderline personality. Hard challenges indeed for the loved ones of the person with the disorder.

I'm thinking the key here is whether the person with the disorder is willing and able to see that they have a problem and that they need help. Which may make narcissists the toughest of the bunch, as their self-esteem is *very* high and they tend to see the faults in others, not in themselves.

Of course I am not a doctor so my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt or three. I just believe that the main reason Snowbunny (and Brother-Husband) stuck with me when I was at my worst was because at least I was willing to admit I had a problem, and was willing to get professional help.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-23-2015, 01:03 AM
JessicaBurde's Avatar
JessicaBurde JessicaBurde is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Northeast Pennsylvannia, USA
Posts: 32
Default

Definitely including the personality disorders ("Cluster B" is a new term for me, but the disorders are familiar), as well as developmental disorders (I hate that term but ATM it seems to be the best I got) such as autism and ADD. There was a debate going on over at reddit as to whether it is better to lump the developmental disorders in with the mental illness series or give them a separate series, given how different their impact is. Someone in that discussion mentioned that BPD and ASD tend to have similar impacts on relationships, a connection I hadn't recognized. Le sigh. Staying on top of everything I "should" know is worse that the classic "keeping up with the Joneses"

I definitely agree that being aware of the problem and willing to get help (in whatever form works best) is key. For myself I've gotten far more useful help from unofficial "peer counselors"--folks I've met who've been there, done that, and been willing to show me what works--than from the vast majority of shrinks, but for my partner, getting professional help and getting on meds was (and is) crucial to his mental stability.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-23-2015, 01:03 AM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 303
Default

I had a former metamour with Histrionic Personality. She also had anorexia and depression, so there were many challenges. There aren't many resources for it that I found, so more on it would definitely pique my interest.

I agree that in the cases of Cluster B disorders, especially in Borderline and Narcisistic, one of the largest barriers could be that it's not easy for the person with the disorder to see that there may be an issue. Thank you for sharing your story--it's inspiring to read!
__________________
Bi Female in VA with a passion for outdoor adventure, cooking, reading, health and fitness, and adventure!

Relationship saturated, and not looking for additional partners.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-23-2015, 01:29 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 7,004
Default

Glad to share.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-24-2015, 09:50 PM
AustinTriad AustinTriad is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Monmouth, Oregon
Posts: 12
Default

My partner cassie has been diagnosed with Bi-polar 1 (the most severe) as well as PTSD. Our other partner is also Bi-Polar with numerous other health issues.

Oddly enough, with that sort of combination you'd think it would be a powder keg, but since Amanda joined our household, I've noticed that both of them are calmer and seem to have less deperession related problems. One thing that works in our favor as well is that Cassie's PTSD stems from abuse she suffered at the hands of her step father so the extra female influence helps to calm her.

I also think that because they share the same disorders that its helped them bond and as with me and amanda, cassie and amanda are very deeply in love with each other.
__________________
-------------*Poly Triad*-----------------
John, Cassie and Amanda
Photographer and Graphic Artist
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-24-2015, 10:15 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,041
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenAcres View Post
...Narcissistic Personality, I think, present[s] potentially difficult challenges in many relationship styles... the potential to impact informed consent by those they interact with, [is] difficult to treat, and, unfortunately, poly can be potentially fertile ground for fostering, rather than helping heal, these illnesses. It is also a life choice that often appeals to Nacissistic personalities, and an informative post about the challenges that represents and where to get help in coping with those challenges would be fantastic!
Hoo boy, my last male partner finally showed his true colors as a Don Juan Narcissist. You hit the nail on the head, GA. Claiming to be a poly lover when in fact other people are mere toys to feed his never fulfilled ego, empty moral center, and need for attention supply, it sure fooled me for a while. He was selfish. He was completely without empathy, though he could fake acting he had some like an Emmy winner. I shudder still to think the knots I was in trying to figure out what the hell happened to my "perfect boyfriend" when he started treating me like shit after the year it took him to fully reel me in.

Here is the most helpful link I have found, with many articles about the Don Juan Narcissist.

https://psychopathyawareness.wordpre...hic-seduction/
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
I am in a somewhat new relationship with Luka

Last edited by Magdlyn; 03-24-2015 at 10:27 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
blog, mental illness

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:43 AM.