#81
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#82
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Well thankfully for my son, my bf did not feel this way. They hit it off straight away. He does not think of himself as a babysitter, he does not think that Max is some kind of baggage or extra trouble, he loves him to bits and Max loves him. They love to hang out together, they are always doing stuff that will often exclude me, whether I'm there or not. My son knows how loved he is by my bf, he knows because he is always being hugged, kissed, spoilt and looked after by him. I never ask him to do this, he does this because he loves him. He does not watch him, he looks after him, jointly with me. He baths him, helps him dress, takes him to the park, reads him stories, puts him to bed. etc etc. He does everything a Dad does, and he does this because he sees him as his son, and Max sees him as his Dad. He does not have to stay in when I go out on my dates, he can, and sometimes does go out also. We can get sitters for Max at anytime. |
#83
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I like his arrogance, but not when it is directed towards bf. I make it clear to him that my bf comes first, although, I dont really like to mention my bf at all to my lover. He does not like to talk about his wife when he is with me either. Quote:
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#84
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I was envious of your arrangement when you told me, I have been reading your blog and your right it is long, ![]() You seem to fight for what you want and I admire the emotional strength that you must possess, it's something that I dont have. While I am happy to battle and fight with my lover, it only takes a few crossed words from my bf (As we had last night, a silly row over nothing) to leave me in fits of tears and unable to sleep. I will continue you to enjoy reading your blog. Last edited by Aurelie26; 04-05-2012 at 04:50 AM. Reason: Spelling |
#85
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Could your bf 's love and affection for your son and the love and affection returned by your son be a factor in him tolerating this.
This could a factor on both sides of this. Your conflicted feeling...not wanting to lose a bf and father for your son. And him loving your son, loving you completely and loving the dad role that he swallows the pain and humiliation or discomfort. The loss of the 2 of you would be more painful. |
#86
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If you want him to wait up for you, don't just promise to come in earlier, promise to be home by X o'clock. And I highly recommend that over saying "well please wait up til 11:30 and I'll try to be home, you can go to sleep if I'm not home by then" and then only coming home sometimes by that time, leaving him irritated that he waited up sometimes when he's tired but couldn't go to bed because he promised not to.
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. |
#87
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The love he has for my Son is a factor, but the main thing is his love for me, and mine for him. It means the world to me that my son has a Daddy now and one that loves him, and is not afraid to show him affection, I will never deny that, it means the world to Max also. My lover thinks that I'm with my bf for this reason, this and the fact that he works hard to look after us and provide the things my Son & I want. He's wrong, yes it's a factor, and I am very attracted to that side of my bf, the side that allows him to show his feelings, both to me and Max. The opposite to my lover. I love my boyfriend though, not because my son loves him, or because he loves Max. I love him. |
#88
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I asked him to wait up for me tonight, he said that he would. |
#89
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Aurelie, something you should keep in mind your bf is passing his NRE stage as well with you perhaps, that could be another factor in not waiting up for you.
I really think you need to let it go. I might mean a lot to you, but it doesn't mean anything healthy. If you really want you relationship with your bf to thrive, you have a lot of work to be doing on your own. The more you share about your relationship the more likely it seems to me that your boyfriend might be having the attitude he has because you have other stuff going on. Having read all of these books, I highly recommend them for your particular situation, for your boyfriend to read too. Sounds like he could use his own help for setting boundaries. http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No.../dp/0894864025 http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Couple-...3648752&sr=1-1 http://www.amazon.com/Have-Give-Love...3648855&sr=1-1
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. |
#90
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Did you set a specific time that you would be home so that he isn't stuck waiting indefinitely? I think that is an important sign of your willingness to work with him to make him more comfortable with the situation.
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Tags |
cohabitation, cuckold, cuckoldry, jealousy, vee, vee dynamics |
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