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  #231  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:05 PM
FigNewtonian FigNewtonian is offline
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Originally Posted by Aurelie26 View Post
The only worry I have is this thing with Nathan wanting to watch Scott and I having sex. I've spoken to Scott, and he's fine with it. I'm not so sure. Does anyone have any experience with that type of thing? If so, how did it go?
Why does that worry you? You love both men, both men love you. If it's a thing that both of them are into, where's the harm? Some people get hot and bothered with the thought of their SO with another person. It's a thing.
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  #232  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:06 PM
Brid75 Brid75 is offline
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So happy that things are going so well for you Aurelie. I think it's fantastic that the four of you are starting to form a close unit. It's especially good seeing that it is Nathan that is the driving force behind it. He must be a very mature and confident young man. It must be lovely for you to see your son and your lover start to bond a little by kissing and hugging when he dropped him home that time. I think it's made even more special by the fact that Nathan is encouraging this relationship to form between the two of them. He must love you very much.

How uncomfortable are you with allowing Nathan to watch you having sex with your lover. I dont think you should feel forced into doing something you dont want to do, going by Nathans posts though, I dont think he would ever want you to do that. If your just a bit unsure about it and it's something he really wants I think you should at least try it for him. If you or either of your men dont like it, you dont need to do it again.
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  #233  
Old 06-23-2012, 12:39 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by FigNewtonian View Post
Why does that worry you? You love both men, both men love you. If it's a thing that both of them are into, where's the harm? Some people get hot and bothered with the thought of their SO with another person. It's a thing.
Your response is rather flippant. Where's the harm? Wow. As if it's all about what the guys want without regard for a woman's choice for herself. Sheesh.

Aurelie, if you are simply not an exhibitionist and uncomfortable with it happening, that's good enough reason not to. Perhaps there isn't really any reason to worry about your two men and how they will handle it, but the "harm," as FigNewtonian calls it, could be in how it affects you if you gives in to doing something you really doesn't want to. It's probably not that big a deal for either of your guys, but if you would feel compromised in some way for participating, then do not do it. You have every right to take your time in considering it, and every right to say "no" if you don't want to. Just because they're both into the idea doesn't mean they automatically get to do it. If you're uncomfortable with it, your wishes should be respected. It's your body. And it's perfectly fine if a guy's fantasies go unfulfilled. Not every wish needs to be granted. Shit, that's what our imaginations are for, right?
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Last edited by nycindie; 06-23-2012 at 12:35 PM.
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  #234  
Old 06-23-2012, 12:46 AM
FigNewtonian FigNewtonian is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Your response is rather flippant. Where's the harm? How about if she is simply not an exhibitionist and is uncomfortable with it happening? That's good enough reason not to. Perhaps there isn't really any reason to worry about her two men and how they will handle it, but the "harm" could be in how it affects her if she gives in to doing something she really doesn't want to, or would feel compromised in some way for participating. Aurelie has every right to take her time in considering it, and every right to say "no" if she doesn't want to. Just because they're both into the idea doesn't mean they automatically get to do it. If she's uncomfortable with it, her wishes should be respected. It's her sex life, her body.
Let's not read too deeply between the lines there. You can see the response as flippant, if you choose, but it started with "Why does that worry you?"
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  #235  
Old 06-23-2012, 05:52 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Originally Posted by FigNewtonian View Post
Why does that worry you? You love both men, both men love you. If it's a thing that both of them are into, where's the harm? Some people get hot and bothered with the thought of their SO with another person. It's a thing.
I'll just say too - it doesn't matter how much partners want to watch you - do you want to be watched? If you're not comfortable I would suggest declining no matter how much one or both of them would enjoy it. Maybe someday you would be interested in it too, but if you're not now, I wouldn't risk the happiness and comfort you're enjoying now just to fulfill somebody elses fantasy.

edit: I see you say in another thread that you're not comfortable with it. Hopefully if you ask him to stop bringing it up he will, hopefully he isn't pressuring you. Don't let 2/3 of you being OK with it make you give in to peer pressure to please anybody.
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Last edited by Anneintherain; 06-23-2012 at 05:56 AM.
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  #236  
Old 06-23-2012, 10:23 PM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
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I'm not sure why I feel uncomfortable about it. I'm very different when I'm with Scott, and I'm not sure I want Nathan to see me that way. I would not want to watch Nathan with someone else, I would hate to see him touching someone the way he touches me, I would hate it. I would not want to watch Scott with Mia either, but I don't think it would bother me. I don't think it would bother me to see him with someone else either, I don't think I would be turned on by it, but it would not upset me. I know it would upset me to watch Nathan with someone else. Why it would bother me to watch Nathan, and not Scott I don't know.

Nathan does want it though, he hasn't really asked, he just mentions it, and says that he might like it. He would never put me under any pressure to do something I don't want to do though, he is not like that. He has done so much to make this all work, and I think this is something I can do for him. I'm not uncomfortable enough not to try it for him, and am open to possibly enjoying it myself. I hope so!

I've been thinking about what he said about me feeling guilty, we have been talking about it also. I do feel guilt, but I think the bigger problem I have is one of fear. I'm scared of losing Nathan! It makes me very unhappy to think of us not being together. I love him so much, and want us to be together always, and yet having a relationship with another man is not the best way to keep him, is it? Nathan always has a knack of saying the right thing at the right time, and making me feel more secure, and it's because of him that I can do this. He has made such a huge effort to make this all o.k for me.

It's late here, and he is still out, when he comes in, I'm going to tell him that he can watch Scott and I if he wants to. We can try it once, and see how it goes.
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  #237  
Old 06-25-2012, 02:31 AM
SWDH SWDH is offline
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Hi Aurelie, I have been reading your thread for several months so I have a decent feel for your situation, since I am the male part of a couple whose situation has some parallels to yours. I just want to say that as far as Nathan watching, this is (a) a continuation of the openness with each other you have successfully accomplished on every other front up to now so the outlook is positive for success here too, and (b) this is sort of a final frontier since he'll see you in another "persona", which he deserves. Although he may find it more intense than he thinks, I get the sense that you two can get through anything that is real (a little time passage . .), and that you need not fear losing him. Rather, you will probably feel so much better for breaking down this final barrier between you, which it really is. (You are reluctant for him to see you as you are with Scott, but that is part of who you are.) I also believe frankly that it will be more intensely erotic for him than you realize or he will want to admit, and I believe based on some clues you have given, that you may want this from a pleasure standpoint more than you are letting on. Truth is, this might be a doorway you both slowly pass through going forward, in coming to terms with parts of your own sexuality that may not get much thought but which may turn out to run deep for both of you. There is power exchange stuff here that can evolve in positive ways. You two have both been pretty sensitive about some things that have come up in this thread along these general lines (which sometimes lack finesse depending who is contributing) so I won't offer any more unless you are interested. This is your thread and I look forward to hearing how things turn out; I see you two as embracing some of the richest things life has to offer, with a lot of love, and I thank you for sharing. Your thread helps me too.
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  #238  
Old 06-25-2012, 06:15 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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I've just been catching up on my girls thread. Thanks for all your kindness, I didn't mean to make you all tearful though, sorry. Anyway, I have been reading another thread and it got me thinking about a few things, so I'm going to post some more.

Last edited by Nathan; 06-25-2012 at 06:21 AM.
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  #239  
Old 06-25-2012, 06:24 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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Default Voyeurism/exhibitionism, Polyamory, Open relationships, Cuckolding. I'm not sure whic

Voyeurism/exhibitionism...........
Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Sounds like you are a voyeur, someone who gets sexual enjoyment from watching others have sex. And the fact that it's your wife having sex with someone Not You probably adds some extra oomph. It's a really common fetish.
I do want to watch Aurelie with Scott, and now she has agreed, I'm looking forward to it. If she had said no though, I would not have been upset, it isn't that important to me. As Aurelie said......I have not really asked her outright, I did not want her to feel that she would be letting me down if she didn't want to do it. I think she will enjoy it, and wants to do it as much as I do, but is afraid to admit it. If, when it comes to it, I think that she is not comfortable, or I'm not, or Scott is not............we can stop.

Quote:
Originally Posted by km34 View Post
My husband enjoys watching me with others (male and female) because he enjoys seeing me pleasured. He has only seen me actually make love to one other person (my ex-gf) and he said he enjoyed that less than seeing me just screw someone.
Thank you Km34, this describes how I feel about it. I think I will enjoy seeing Aurelie pleasured, I love her and she is so sexy. She has told me that the intimacy we share is love making, and that what she has with Scott is more 'fucking.' I guess I want to see her pleasured in a way that I cant. It's about me being turned on by seeing her get off to the degree that she has told me she does when she is with Scott.

Last edited by Nathan; 06-25-2012 at 07:09 AM. Reason: Spelling.
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  #240  
Old 06-25-2012, 06:26 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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Polyamory.................
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Polyamory is about having a life, encouraging and nurturing growth, taking responsibility for your decisions and relationships, being open and honest with everyone around you.... while having great sex.
This also describes what we are trying to achieve. We love Aurelie, Scott and I, and she loves us, but what we are trying to do is create a four way relationship between Mia, Scott, Aurelie and myself. ( Five, if you include Max) Aurelie is at the centre of this, but we all want to care about, and support each other. At first it was just about me trying to make Aurelie happy, and giving her what she wanted. Now that I have got to know Scott and Mia, it's something that I want as well, it's interesting and exciting to think of our future together, and the love we can share between the five of us.
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