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  #201  
Old 05-28-2012, 07:34 AM
Brid75 Brid75 is offline
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@FigNewtonian................If Aurelies bf was to read her own posts, he would see how much she loves him, and how he, and their Son is obviously her main priorities.

Knowing that Nathan has now read this thread, I do wish that I had used less inflamatory language when making my own point. My point was that Aurelie should indeed put her bf first, but should not feel pressured into giving up her lover until she felt that she had no other choice.

This is the first time I have participated in a forum, and have learn't that you should not assume that all the people involved aren't going to read your words.

I apologize to Nathan if my words have caused him offence.
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  #202  
Old 05-28-2012, 03:48 PM
FigNewtonian FigNewtonian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brid75 View Post
@FigNewtonian................If Aurelies bf was to read her own posts, he would see how much she loves him, and how he, and their Son is obviously her main priorities.

Knowing that Nathan has now read this thread, I do wish that I had used less inflamatory language when making my own point. My point was that Aurelie should indeed put her bf first, but should not feel pressured into giving up her lover until she felt that she had no other choice.

This is the first time I have participated in a forum, and have learn't that you should not assume that all the people involved aren't going to read your words.

I apologize to Nathan if my words have caused him offence.
Brid75, that's what I was trying to get at. It's one thing to be participating and witness to a dynamic conversation as it unfolds it's quite another to just have 21+ pages of stuff including some very intimate and intense stuff dropped on you.

I wasn't even party to this. I just got interested, sat down and started reading from start to finish much like he likely would and there was stuff in here that made me wince and physically squirm.
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  #203  
Old 05-28-2012, 05:26 PM
Brid75 Brid75 is offline
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I have not read anything in Aurelies posts that makes me wince or squirm, maybe it's a man thing. To me Aurelie comes across as an honest and caring girl who is trying to make things as right as she can for everyone in her life, and she seems to be doing a great job. You seem to be taking offence on her bf's behalf, I'm not sure why. I admit that it would be interesting to get some posts from Nathan himself to see how he feels about things.
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  #204  
Old 05-28-2012, 06:26 PM
FigNewtonian FigNewtonian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brid75 View Post
I have not read anything in Aurelies posts that makes me wince or squirm, maybe it's a man thing. To me Aurelie comes across as an honest and caring girl who is trying to make things as right as she can for everyone in her life, and she seems to be doing a great job. You seem to be taking offence on her bf's behalf, I'm not sure why. I admit that it would be interesting to get some posts from Nathan himself to see how he feels about things.
I wasn't specifically limiting my discomfort to Aurelie's posts, but it may very well be a "man thing." It could be a mono thing. It could be any number of things. I'm also INTJ — which means "feelings" aren't exactly my strong suit to begin with.

I think you're confusing trying to empathize and understand what he's going through in the face of an enormous — and at times, in your own words, inflammatory info dump — with trying to take offense on his behalf.

I, too, would be interested in seeing his perspective on this thing.
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  #205  
Old 05-30-2012, 10:18 PM
BlueMan BlueMan is offline
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Hmm... So, I've been lurking around this forum for some time, reading and having a great time with discussions. Just general curiosity and desire to learn new things, I think, so I've felt the need to register until now. For two motives.

First of all - To say I'm really happy for Aurelie and her family. It was heart-warming to see the loves she feels for her boyfriend and son, the cares she shows for her lover and his wife, and it satisfying to see such a pleasant outcome, at least for now. I mean, it really made me smile.

Secondly, to clear up something that annoys me - The assumption that, if a man shows the minimal sign of enjoying the thought of his significant other with other men, he'll be a cuckold who gets off on humiliation.

Let me be clear here - I'm not directing this at anyone in particular. In fact, this problem is more present in other communities, it's just that I felt the need to speak up in this one. It's just that, some times (I'd say most of the time, but I don't have hard data) the arousal comes from a completely different point.

Sometimes it's the competitive instincts getting riled up. "Oh, so he's better than me, hmm? All right... But can he do this?". Sometimes, it's a twisted sense of victory "He's so much better than me, she says, but I'm the only she keeps getting back to, so stuff it into your pipe and smoke it." And in most of the time, it's just voyeuristic pleasure.

I'm not saying that the "gets off on humiliation" aspect doest exist. Neither pretend I understand it, but I accept it exists. It's just that, when I begin to see people projecting their own preferences and worldviews in everyone else, like some BDSMers that insist on filing every soul they meet as a Dom or Sub, I get annoyed at the... Presumptuousness, I think.

I'm sorry for the threadjack. Again, Aurelie, I'm really happy for your and yours happiness, and I hope that it lasts, I really do. Make sure the communication, respect and love are always there, and it'll work out.

Best regards for everyone.
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  #206  
Old 05-31-2012, 05:05 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Blueman,

I think this the first thread that discussed the cuckold topic and only brid was bold enough to speak from experience. Her definition I thought covered what you are saying. From the practical application ( wife seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere against the wish of the man ) to the fetish ... which includes the humiliation and all that.

I think you might be talking another fetish....men being turned on by the thought of SO with other men or does that automatically put you in the cuckold fetish ?
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  #207  
Old 06-01-2012, 01:32 AM
BlueMan BlueMan is offline
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Dingedheart,

I believe this is the first thread that went into an in-depth analysis of the fetish, yes. Again, I'm sorry, I may have overreacted.

Thing is, men turned on by the thought of their SO with other men exist. I don't have the hard data to offer percentage, but they are there. Most of the time, though, this is motivated simply by voyeurism, sometimes coupled with some competitiveness: "Yeah, you had sex with him, but com here now, let me show you something he can't" traditional, chest-beating male ego.

However, for some reason, it became associated with extreme humiliation and insecurity play, so much that now it's the prevalent form we see people talk about. I for example, can't dissociate the word "Cuckold" from these things. I prefer to call something else when the man gets off on things other than the humiliation, just to make clear to everyone what I'm talking about.

The cuckold thing came up in this thread, so I thought I might just quip in to clarify this issue. People over here seem to be more sensible, rational and open to discussion than the norm, so I though about just leaving it here. =)

Last edited by BlueMan; 06-01-2012 at 01:35 AM.
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  #208  
Old 06-01-2012, 02:50 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMan View Post
Dingedheart,

People over here seem to be more sensible, rational and open to discussion than the norm, so I though about just leaving it here. =)
REALLY.....Not always ...must be first impressions or something are you trying to suck up nice try


The way this got started was post #25.....read that again....it snowballed from there.


P.S. why so blue?

Last edited by dingedheart; 06-01-2012 at 02:51 PM. Reason: PS
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  #209  
Old 06-02-2012, 03:17 AM
BlueMan BlueMan is offline
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Yes, really. I mean, it's no paradise. But from what I've seen, people are actually willing to talk instead of shout. Yeah, I've been to... Some pretty dread place in the bowels of the interwebz.

And as a principle, I don't "suck up". There are few things as infuriating as a false compliment, and I just don't do that.

P.S.: Better than purple =)
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  #210  
Old 06-02-2012, 06:20 AM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMan View Post
Dingedheart,

I believe this is the first thread that went into an in-depth analysis of the fetish, yes. Again, I'm sorry, I may have overreacted.

Thing is, men turned on by the thought of their SO with other men exist. I don't have the hard data to offer percentage, but they are there. Most of the time, though, this is motivated simply by voyeurism, sometimes coupled with some competitiveness: "Yeah, you had sex with him, but com here now, let me show you something he can't" traditional, chest-beating male ego.

However, for some reason, it became associated with extreme humiliation and insecurity play, so much that now it's the prevalent form we see people talk about. I for example, can't dissociate the word "Cuckold" from these things. I prefer to call something else when the man gets off on things other than the humiliation, just to make clear to everyone what I'm talking about.

The cuckold thing came up in this thread, so I thought I might just quip in to clarify this issue. People over here seem to be more sensible, rational and open to discussion than the norm, so I though about just leaving it here. =)
I'm glad you mentioned this, because my SO is a voyeur, and he's told me before that he'd love to see me with another guy. Nothing humiliating about it; moreso that the thought arouses him and spurns him in a competitive sense.
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