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  #171  
Old 05-02-2012, 07:51 PM
sunnicat sunnicat is offline
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Default my mistake

sorry: I am new here and posted on the wrong thread, my apologies.
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  #172  
Old 05-02-2012, 08:54 PM
Brid75 Brid75 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
There's a lot that I'm itching to respond to here (especially the "sick and worthless" comment... just... heavy sigh... I was talking about activities within the context of consensual kinky roleplay and it freaking hurts to hear people who actually, consensually, LIKE those activities called things like that ), but I am beginning to feel like we're really derailing and it doesn't seem fair to Aurelie. This thread is supposed to be for helping her, not for arguing semantics. What matters is that she and her relationships are happy and solid, not what anyone wants to call it.

I blame myself for starting the threadjack. :/
Annabel, you have totally misunderstood what I said. I think all types of role play are fantastic, including the roleplay that Aurelie and her bf are now partaking in, I think it will help their situation a lot.

The sick and worthless comment was aimed towards people, men or woman who get a thrill out of humiliating their partners, not within the confines of roleplay, but for real. Rubbing their faces in it, as you would say.
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  #173  
Old 05-02-2012, 08:59 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brid75 View Post
Annabel, you have totally misunderstood what I said. I think all types of role play are fantastic, including the roleplay that Aurelie and her bf are now partaking in, I think it will help their situation a lot.

The sick and worthless comment was aimed towards people, men or woman who get a thrill out of humiliating their partners, not within the confines of roleplay, but for real. Rubbing their faces in it, as you would say.
Ah, that's good to know then.
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  #174  
Old 05-03-2012, 06:43 AM
Brid75 Brid75 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurelie26 View Post
Brid75, how does my situation mirror your own?
I was a single Mother the same as yourself, with a child the same age as yours, a daughter though. I met my husband, who is a kind, decent, hard working loving man, a man I fell in love with. He ticked all the boxes for me, except one. Sex! He also bonded with my child, as your bf has with yours, he was a natural father. They are still very close, even though she is a teenager now, and my husband & I have a child ourselves.

I had hoped that our sex life would improve and I tried very hard to that end. A big difference between my husband and your bf is the fact that you say your bf has a high sex drive and enjoys sex and that you now also enjoy your lovemaking. I did not enjoy our lovemaking, it left me frustrated. My husband has little interest in sex, he has a very low libido, and unlike your bf he had no interest in trying to improve himself sexually, he was never interested enough to let me teach him. As much as I tried I could never improve things, and got tired of always being knocked back. I knew that my husband loved me, and that it wasn't his fault that his libido was as low as it was. Although he was not into the sexual side of things, he was, and still is a very affectionate man, both to me, and our children, much like your boyfriend. I decided that I would try to except things and learn to live with it. I couldn't. It was making me unhappy. I have never stopped
loving my husband though, and as with your bf, he is my primary and comes first.


I met my boyfriend* at work, and we always got on well. He would confide in me about his marriage problems and I would do the same. His problems were the same as mine, so we decided to start a relationship. It was important to us that we both informed our partners, and we did.

My husband was not happy at first, he was upset and jealous and would ask much the same questions as your bf has asked you. He knew the answers of course, given his lack of interest, but it would be a way for him to confront me and pick a fight. I didn't blame him for that and tried my best to comfort him. He knew how unhappy I was though, and he loved me enough to except the situation, although I had been having sex with my boyfriend for months before he did.

A mistake I made nearly cost me my marriage. It involved a trip away with my boyfriend, not for a weekend like yours, but for the whole week. I lied to my husband, and I lied to him because I knew he would never permit me to go if he knew the truth. As far as he knew I was going on holiday with my best friend, that was true, but I failed to mention that my boyfriend would be coming with me. When he found out he left me. I was devastated. It is something I still have a huge regret over, even though my husband was loving and forgiving enough to come back to me. I let him down, and I let my own wants come before my integrity and the man that I love. It wasn't the fact that I went away for a week of sex while leaving my family at home, although that was bad enough, it was the fact that I was deceitful, cunning and wholly dishonest and disrespectful to him. As with you, I will not make the same mistake twice. This is why I urged you to always tell your bf the
truth, the one time I did not, very nearly cost me my family.


Do I love my boyfriend? I'm very fond of him, and he has shown me how joyful and beautiful sex can be.
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  #175  
Old 05-05-2012, 05:56 AM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
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Hi, I'm upset at the moment and just wanted to log on and have a rant, and also clarify a few issues that have been raised in the last few posts.

I want to talk about my Man first, when I say my Man, I do mean my Boyfriend. I'm kind of tired of calling him that, it makes me feel like a teenager. His name is Nathan. I have seen posts where people talk about their partners being equal, and that they give them the same amount of love, time, consideration etc etc. It's great if that works for you, but that is not me. Nathan gets more love, care, and respect from me. This is not a conscious decision on my part, that's just the way that I feel. I love them both, I love Nathan more, much more truth be told.

Apart from Nathan, my lover and his wife, only two people know about our set-up. They are my two best friends, one of which I had lunch with yesterday. This is why I'm upset. I thought she understood, she does not. I know that she is very fond of Nathan, and I also know that she never 100% approved of what we are doing, but she has no right to tell me that I do not really love Nathan. She is not someone on a forum like this, she is a very close friend.

I'm not sure if you can swear on this site, but..................She can fck off. People telling me who I do and do not love.

Nathan is a genuine and lovely Man, he is very, very nice. People hear nice, and they think boring. You could not be more wrong. His personality is far more charming and interesting than my lover, far more intelligent. See, now I've said that I feel bad, it's true, but I feel like I'm letting the other love of my life down by saying it. It's the same when I say that my lover is better in bed than Nathan, but the other way around of course. So I try to keep them seperate and not compare them. Not better but different. Thats not true though is it. I do love Nathan more, he is better and more important to me. I like & love him more, and we are also best friends.
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  #176  
Old 05-05-2012, 06:51 AM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Sorry your friend was so over the line. I have no room for comments like that. How disrespectful and presumptuous. It may be coming from that default mono mindset (more than likely) but it still comes off like an asshole-ish thing to say, between friends.

I'd tread lightly with her from now on, personally.
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  #177  
Old 05-05-2012, 07:50 AM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
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He is also my sons father. That is not something I decided, it's something they decided, something my son Max decided when he started calling him Dad. Max did not ask if he could or if he should, he just did.

I got with Nathan because Max needed a father......Again she can fck off.

I could not of discouraged Nathan any more than I did, not because I didn't like him or didn't find him attractive, I did. I discouraged him because I was with Scott (I'm fed up with lover as well, it sounds stupid.) and knew that I could not or did not want to give him up. I had tried and failed to do so in the past.

So I told him about Scott, the truth, that he was married etc etc. Nathan left it there.........For a few weeks. Then he asked me out again. I told him that he would have to share me. I was only joking, but he said.

"Well, I'm only asking you out for dinner, but o.k." Those were his very words.

He said that he loved me even then, and that's why he was so determined. I did not feel the same way about him at the time, I liked him though, it did not take long for me to fall in love with him.

He has so many personality traits that I find sexy in a man, and yes, one of those is his ability to connect with my Son.

Any single mother who has had their child ask them "Why dont I have a dad" will know what Nathan loving Max does for me.

My Son is a very sensitive Boy, easily upset, he is someone who needs to feel loved. This also means that you get a lot of love back from him. To see him give that love to someone other than myself makes me so happy. To see them kiss and hug all the time fills me with joy. They are so very close and in love with each other. So much so that if I was a jealous Mother I would sometimes feel excluded. If it's his bath time......he wants dad to do it. If it's his bed time..........He wants dad to take him. He wants his dad for everything. What boy wants to go to the park and play football with his mum?

When he is described as a babysitter.........well it's just plain silly.

Nathan made an effort with Max straight off. Why? Because he is a lovely man! We had been on three dates, and I was beginning to fall in love with him, we had not even had sex at this point, and would not for a while. He had asked me out for the day, but I was unable to go because I could not get a sitter for Max for the whole day. When I told Nathan he just told me to bring him. He made sure that Max had a great day, being a single mother I could not spoil my son as much as I wanted to, I did not have the money. Nathan spoilt him that day and still does.

"Best day ever." Thats what my son said when I asked him if he had fun that day. He could not wait to see Nathan again.

So reading all that you might think, yeah, she wanted that guy because he was Dad material. You could not be more wrong. What kind of person would that make me. I love him, for him. He makes me very happy. The fact that he loves Max just makes it more special, it makes us a family.

So, to hear my friend say these things does upset me. We were arguing but that is no excuse. She sees us together and knows how we are together.
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  #178  
Old 05-05-2012, 08:04 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I'm so sorry your friend doesn't understand or try to understand, and has made such terrible remarks. Sometimes it takes telling people off and then not seeing them for a while for them to realize they were being inconsiderate and hurtful. I don't know what else to say except that you are welcome here, and you can PM people that you feel you might want to talk with privately. It's not the same as friends in real life, but it's something.
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  #179  
Old 05-05-2012, 08:31 AM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
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Cuckold..........The reason I do not like that word is because things that are associated wth it. Wimp, sissy, bitch. This in no way describes what my boyfriend is like. He is very much a man, he may be laid back and gentle most of the time, but I have seen him when provocked, he is no wimp.

However, dh, Annabelmore and Brid75 are right when they say we have been doing some cuckold roleplay. And yes it does involve talk of how much bigger Scott's cock is, and how much better he is in bed. We use the cuckold word, it does not bother Nathan. He likes it. I dont really understand it, but as long as he enjoys it, and it's roleplay thats fine. He has expressed an interest in watching my lover and I. I am surprised that this has happened, but it has taught me that in future I should not make assumptions when it comes to men and sex. As for Nathan watching, assuming that Scott agrees to it, I am unsure. We will take the roleplay further and see how it goes.

It's one thing to hear about it, but I'm not sure how Nathan will react if he sees it. I have not told Scott about any of this yet. I want them to meet first. I know that he will be turned on by the whole idea of it though.

As Annabelmore said though, whatever you call it doesn't matter, as long as my relationships are strong and loving.

Last edited by Aurelie26; 05-05-2012 at 10:43 AM.
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  #180  
Old 05-05-2012, 09:06 AM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
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@Brid75, firstly thanks for your reply. Your right, my situation does mirror yours to a degree, and I'm happy for you that it all has worked out for you and your loved ones.

As I said before, I find your posts a little uncomfortable to read, partly because of the way you word them, but also because they do speak some truths.

The weekend away was a huge mistake, it was the cause of this trouble and you are right when you say that I knew he did not want me to go, and your correct when you say I went anyway. Did I cuckold him as you say? Well it does not matter what you call it, all that matters is that I know it was a mistake, and that Nathan and I have discussed it at length, and he knows that I'm sorry and that I will not do it again. It was selfish. I also regret suggesting that he see's other woman. I did it to make myself feel less guilty about Scott. I should have known that he would have found it to be an ordeal. The fact that he tried it purely because he thought that was what I wanted makes me feel terrible. Again it was selfish.

I did tell Nathan the truth though, as you said I should. It was something that I thought would be the right thing to do, and I've done it, and it has made things a lot better.
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