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  #1  
Old 03-18-2012, 03:34 AM
Innocentglitter Innocentglitter is offline
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Default Hi

I don't really know what to say. I was in a five year relationship that ended recently, and my partner got a new girlfriend. Only he couldn't stay faithful to her and still sees me almost everyday. We are basically a couple only he doesn't consider me his girlfriend but his friend he loves. Only we still cuddle kiss and so on. We still love each other very deeply and are the best of friends. He will see me and then go see his other girl



I honestly never thought I'd share him, but he fulfills my needs better now then he ever has before. It's strange to me... I guess that's all I know to say.
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  #2  
Old 03-18-2012, 06:32 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Welcome to the forum.

Does she know he's still seeing you? Because if she doesn't, it's not really sharing.
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
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Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #3  
Old 03-18-2012, 08:21 AM
Innocentglitter Innocentglitter is offline
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No she isn't aware of us... Only my two friends know in fact.
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  #4  
Old 03-18-2012, 12:35 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Then he is cheating -- and you are supporting that and playing a part in hurting another woman. You are not as innocent as your username would imply! Cheating is not polyamory, which is a form of honest, consensual, ethical non-monogamy. Can you live with the fact that he is lying to her to be with you?
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-18-2012 at 12:38 PM.
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  #5  
Old 03-18-2012, 12:55 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Then he is cheating -- and you are supporting that and playing a part in hurting another woman. You are not as innocent as your username would imply! Cheating is not polyamory, which is a form of honest, consensual, ethical non-monogamy. Can you live with the fact that he is lying to her to be with you?
Harsh but necessary. Have him tell her and stop seeing him until he does. How do you know he didn't cheat on you? People don't just become cheaters overnight.
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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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  #6  
Old 03-18-2012, 01:30 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
Harsh but necessary.
Direct and factual, not harsh.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #7  
Old 03-18-2012, 03:18 PM
Innocentglitter Innocentglitter is offline
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He has cheated on me before, and I am aware of the situation. I know it wrong but our relationship has been complicated for a long time. I have a child with him so I can not just stop seeing him, in fact when I try he freaks out. He says being in a strictly monogamous relationship isn't for him. I do feel bad for the other girl because she does like him and isn't aware of what he is doing.

But I do love this man very deeply...

I should say I have tried to get him to slowly talk to this girl about this lifestyle. Because I would love to be able to talk to her and discuss things. He is very open with me but not with her and he should be

Last edited by Innocentglitter; 03-18-2012 at 03:21 PM.
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  #8  
Old 03-18-2012, 03:19 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Ugh! You always have a choice, hon.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #9  
Old 03-18-2012, 03:35 PM
Innocentglitter Innocentglitter is offline
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I know and I wish he would just tell her. That way things would be so complicated.
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  #10  
Old 03-18-2012, 03:58 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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You don't have to stop being friends with him. Stop kissing him and being romantically involved. He's not yours and you're letting him take advantage of you and someone else. Make him choose you or her and put an end to this.
__________________
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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