Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-17-2012, 07:52 PM
OkNewbs's Avatar
OkNewbs OkNewbs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Default Hi all....

Glad to have found this site. My DH & I have been kicking around the idea of opening things up for quite a while now, as I'm very curious. Hoping to learn the ropes quickly.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-18-2012, 04:41 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,284
Default

Hi and welcome,


Are you both historically fast learner,... Good communicators and opened minded? If so.....you won't have a problem.

Good luck D
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-18-2012, 05:28 PM
OkNewbs's Avatar
OkNewbs OkNewbs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Default

Thanks, D!

We're both rather quick on the uptake.

We are very open-minded & communication is VERY important to us, especially now that we've decided to test these particular waters!

S
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-18-2012, 07:19 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,284
Default

Well great .....then it should take 5-7 business days. Same as standard ground shipping.


I'd start reading all the different stories here to get an idea of the future you face.

Good luck to you both..
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-18-2012, 08:39 PM
OkNewbs's Avatar
OkNewbs OkNewbs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Default

Smart ass.

I've done tooonnnnnssss of looking. Before the decision, when deciding on rules & still goin. Thanks tho.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-18-2012, 10:20 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,284
Default

That's really a good approach and that puts you ahead of most.

And yes, you got me....but I have to say I much prefer being called a smart ass than a dumb ass
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-18-2012, 10:24 PM
OkNewbs's Avatar
OkNewbs OkNewbs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Default

Haha! Showing this to DH! Not neurotic, just a planner!

I have to agree. Besides, how does one survive without humor?!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-19-2012, 01:05 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,284
Default

Are you saying he hasn't done as much reading yet?

How did opening up your marriage come about?

How long have you been married, any kids?

Are you or he dating yet? If so how's that goin

Keep track of that sense of humor you may need it from time to time with this new journey.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-19-2012, 01:31 PM
OkNewbs's Avatar
OkNewbs OkNewbs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Default

He does read if I show him something. And we discuss anything I find. He's just not a digger.

Actually, it came about while trying to heal the marriage from emotional infidelity. That was 1.5 years ago. I couldn't figure out how to forgive, so was looking online for others' stories & came across an open marriage story. At first, I brought it up to him out of almost desperation. "If I'm failing somehow, then you have my permission to fill in the blanks with someone else" type scenario. We've come a long way since then. Now - for me & I think him - it's more a personal heartfelt choice. Yes, in part it's to make sure the other is completely satisfied in all aspects.

We've actually only been married about 2 years, but it's hard to remember that. It's super cheesy, but we both feel like we've been together forever - in a good way!

We do have 1 daughter (18m) and that's a huge concern for me. I posted in General Poly Discussions about that in depth.

Neither of us have acted on anything yet. He actually would like to try a casual shared fling before deciding if it's really for him. He says in theory it's ok (but no men for me, just women), but he would have to truly decide in the moment. Since he's obviously not sure about it, I am not doing anything either. IDK if he's just overwhelmed with such a radical idea, or if he's agreeing to this selflessly & has no interest, or anything along that spectrum. I love him with everything I have, so I'm not going to do anything to hurt him, even if it means I sacrifice a bit of myself along the way.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-19-2012, 01:54 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,018
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OkNewbs View Post
He says in theory it's ok (but no men for me, just women), but he would have to truly decide in the moment. Since he's obviously not sure about it, I am not doing anything either. IDK if he's just overwhelmed with such a radical idea, or if he's agreeing to this selflessly...
"No men, only women" for you. That isn't selfless. Just the opposite.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:41 PM.