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  #11  
Old 11-09-2013, 07:09 AM
Polynew Polynew is offline
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Default Recovery and poly

I have been in recovery for over 15 years, have most recently started looking at the principles behind polyamory as something that might fit into my sexual ideal. I love the idea of loving more freely, the concepts of honesty, and letting to of jealousy and fear. These seem to me to be very much in line with the principles of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness that I have been taught. Thus, they seem to be right in line with my recovery. Could use some recovery friends to talk freely with and offer mutual support, though my friends are pretty non-judgmental they are all very monogamous thinkers. Though not completely nessesary I would love to talk to some who can relate on both topics.
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  #12  
Old 09-12-2014, 06:54 PM
sbale sbale is offline
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Default Clean/sober

Poly new,
I dont know if this is the proper way to say this but im SO not a forums person. Sorry if i am out of line.

This is also a comment for anyone else who is in recovery and poly.
** As well as for any person coming accross this post years from now **
I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I am 23 years clean and sober and i am also a sponcer. My wife and i are poly. (Yes she is in alanon). Those in recovery and poly have unique set of challenges, even more so than what is contained in the 12 steps. Maybe together, the more of us that can coonect with others the better chance we have at staying clean/sober and being happy polys.
I am looking for any and all recovery+poly friends to stay connected with.

Feel free to contact me - stephenbale@gmail.com.

I am so seldom on forums.
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  #13  
Old 09-15-2014, 03:57 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Maybe some kind of online chapter of AA could be formed that specializes in supporting polys in recovery?
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  #14  
Old 11-19-2014, 10:27 PM
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crazylovely crazylovely is offline
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I have yet to find anyone, let alone in my AA family that agrees with me entering into a poly relationship.

All comments are of the same lines as stated above as this is typical transferring of addictive behavior, trying to set my hair on fire to feed the chaos.
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  #15  
Old 12-03-2014, 10:16 PM
AwareManNYC AwareManNYC is offline
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Default Bill W was Probably Poly

Sponsors should share what worked for them, not give lots of detailed advice. They should carry the message, explain the program, be a guide to working it. If it sticks and helps great. If it doesn't, sponsors should be happy they did their best.

A recent documentary about Bill W. covered that fact that for much of his life he had a girlfriend, someone his wife knew about. At the end of his life the film showed the girlfriend and his wife in the same rooms together, as I remember it.

So, it is arguable that Bill W. was indeed poly in some meaningful way.

If a sponsor is judgmental, I suppose you could point that out. But if a sponsor is judgmental, is he or she really carrying the message?

(It is this film: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2275549/)

Last edited by AwareManNYC; 12-04-2014 at 12:08 AM.
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  #16  
Old 01-04-2015, 11:55 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Interesting stuff AwareManNYC. I believe we're talking about the guy who founded AA, amirite.
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  #17  
Old 01-05-2015, 02:21 AM
AwareManNYC AwareManNYC is offline
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Default Yep, Bill W. Was the founder of AA

Bill Wilson is the full name.
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  #18  
Old 01-05-2015, 02:59 AM
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That's cool.
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  #19  
Old 04-22-2015, 10:50 PM
Voxliberat Voxliberat is offline
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Hi. Thought I'd make a contribution here as a new member to this forum. Been free from drink for 13 years. Came across polyamory through a poly lover and considered the option as part of my spiritual growth and gaining freedom from dishonesty and fear. It led me to discover that monogamous expectations led to both fear and dishonesty and created much unhappiness in past relationships. Recovery is in part about consequences - choosing polyamory for me is about choosing different consequences to the one's I had living monogamously. Having said that, both my new girlfriend and I are new to polyamory so we have yet to experience all of the consequences - so far it has led to openness, greater honesty and deeper intimacy then ever before and with that a huge sense of freedom, gratitude for my partner, and for my recovery. I don't see it as incompatible at all.

As regards other people in AA: My sex stuff is my business and I keep it to myself, after learning to stay away from sick judgemental people playing at being sober whilst utterly dependent on their sponsors for every relationship decision. I have a good connection with my HP (spiritual and non-religious; expanding consciousness of the universe variety) and do inventory and amends when required on an intuitive rather than robotic basis - as part of an on-going self-nurturing change process. I work on my thinking if its out of kilter. As a result I enjoy a freedom like none I have known before. Being free to love without constraints seems like such a natural progression. Combining doing inventory and practising poly honesty changes the nature of my experience of being in a relationship with my girlfriend, others and with myself. All this is really just a further chapter in my recovery and personal evolution. To think part of my drinking was all based on fear and issues of honesty with myself and others... when all I needed to do was to fully acknowledge my souls desire to connect deeply with other souls. x
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