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#1
05-05-2012, 10:33 PM
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Poly & Pregnancy
Both Nathan & I have decided that we would like to have a child together. It is something that is very important to him, and we both agree that it would be nice for Max to have a sibling at some point. The timing is not right at the moment as I'm finishing up a teachers degree, but we have both agreed that we will try within two years.
My question is........has anyone any experience with this. It would have to be Nathan that was the Father and there is no way that we could have it any other way. How did you go about it, and how did it work out in the long run. Thanks 
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#2
05-05-2012, 11:41 PM
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We are considering baby-making right now. The one candidate we have approached to make this happen with us lives very far away, so our baby-making attempts should be timed PERFECTLY. As if there wasn't enough stress as it is
 . (Oh, and when I say right now, it means that the potential baby person might come along in two years or so).There are several hurdles to cross before getting to babies: my female partner smokes, and I drink ridiculous amounts of coffee. We've made a plan to get rid of our habits and to seek treatment individually and together for our mental & emotional situation to make our home welcoming and safe for a new person. The exact details of the male parent's possible involvement are fuzzy still, but he is such an awesome person that I'm sure anything he comes up with will be just great! I suggest you take a look at the Poly and Children thread, where there is discussion around this issue (getting pregnant in a poly config). I vaguely remember posting a series of questions to ask yourself if you're planning to start a non-normative family from scratch. Our/my biggest concern is the stress possible infertility or it's opposite, twin pregnancies, will put on our relationship. Also, I have requested that we cease all possibly-baby making activities with other male partners for until our desired number of children is there or we have given up trying. I don't trust contraception since it hasn't worked for me, and there is a limited amount of contraceptives you can use while you are breastfeeding. I don't want to wonder who our baby's father really is.
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"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease." "In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry." "In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.
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#3
05-06-2012, 05:08 AM
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Have you done a search on this? Here are some related threads you might enjoy reading:
Children and Polyamory Raising Children In Poly Families? Polyamory paused by pregnancy/child Babies and changes in poly
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. Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership. Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy! For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. Last edited by nycindie; 05-06-2012 at 05:49 AM.
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