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  #1  
Old 03-14-2012, 05:58 PM
9inchtongue 9inchtongue is offline
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Smile Hello, Thanks for letting me be a part of this group.

I am new to this site, and hope to meet other like minded people here. I am retired, after going through life getting by. I have been married, widowed, and remarried Like most males I am interested in the polyamory life style, and I have just talked my wife into the idea. I am in fairly good health. I smoke, but do not drink(quit about twenty five years ago.) Like every other male in my age group I spent my time in Veit Nam,(not bragging, just doing an intro.) There was a time when I thought I would not live to see the next day, now that I have lived to see many it is time for me to spend the rest of them with loved ones around me.I still have many days left to enjoy life.
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  #2  
Old 03-14-2012, 06:52 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Welcome,

how long have you been married this time?


How hard was it to convince your wife?

Is she looking for a partner as well. ...How long is her tongue?
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  #3  
Old 03-15-2012, 01:25 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Welcome to the forums!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 9inchtongue View Post
Like most males I am interested in the polyamory life style...
I'm curious as to why you feel that "most males" are interested in poly (which may imply that "most females" are not?) [Whether or not it qualifies as a lifestyle, I'll leave for others to argue.] Do you have some statistics that indicate that? (My "personal" statistics...i.e. the people that I know...don't support that, but that n = a very small number.)

I would argue that "most people" have never considered poly in any way and therefore don't know if they have an interest or not (it is, in my opinion, still a minority perspective). It may be true that in the modern american culture more men than women are willing to express an interest in having extra-martial sexual experiences but that doesn't necessarily correlate with poly.
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #4  
Old 03-15-2012, 01:02 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hi and welcome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 9inchtongue View Post
Like most males I am interested in the polyamory life style, and I have just talked my wife into the idea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
I'm curious as to why you feel that "most males" are interested in poly (which may imply that "most females" are not?) [Whether or not it qualifies as a lifestyle, I'll leave for others to argue.] Do you have some statistics that indicate that?

...It may be true that in the modern american culture more men than women are willing to express an interest in having extra-martial sexual experiences but that doesn't necessarily correlate with poly.
I agree with Jane. I read somewhere (and I've been trying to find the article again) that, in a wide sampling of formerly monogamous MF long-term relationships or marriages that are now polyamorous, it was more frequently the women who had asked to open it up than it was the men. Also, just wanted to point out that there are so many ways to live polyamorously and incorporate poly into one's lifestyle, that there just isn't any such thing as "the polyamory lifestyle."
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-15-2012 at 04:51 PM.
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  #5  
Old 03-15-2012, 04:34 PM
9inchtongue 9inchtongue is offline
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Smile You might be right Jane

I guess I was saying what I assumed was right. It Is great to hear from a lady that is not afraid to voice her opinion.When I joined this site I thought the members would be mostly men, but I am glad to find out I was wrong.
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  #6  
Old 03-15-2012, 04:56 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 9inchtongue View Post
When I joined this site I thought the members would be mostly men, but I am glad to find out I was wrong.
Have you done any reading elsewhere - books, websites, etc.? There is a "sticky note" thread with book and website recommendations at the top of the Poly Relationships forum. Also definitely check out the Blogs section here to read other people's stories, and Golden Nuggets which has links to poly resources
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #7  
Old 03-17-2012, 05:43 AM
nihonjindesu nihonjindesu is offline
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I'm a lady, and I was the one who asked to open my boyfriend &I's relationship, seems many others are the same.

I can't wait until there is more research on this subject..
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  #8  
Old 03-18-2012, 09:58 PM
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bastet bastet is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 9inchtongue View Post
I guess I was saying what I assumed was right. It Is great to hear from a lady that is not afraid to voice her opinion.When I joined this site I thought the members would be mostly men, but I am glad to find out I was wrong.
My husband is far less comfortable with a poly life than I am. In fact most of the men I've met on this journey are less comfortable from the get go. Maybe it's where we live (NYC) maybe not. But women are at least as equally into exploring what it means to be polyamourous as men.

Just my 2cents
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