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Old 03-07-2012, 03:53 PM
StreetRacer StreetRacer is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 26
Default hey guys

my name's Ryan, I'm 22, I live in MA

ive been going through a lot of life changes lately, which had caused a lot of thinking. my sexuality being one of them, and i guess the conclusion i came to as of last night is that
im a polyamorous homogenderal
that probably doesn't make much sense lol, and that'z cuz i came up with it
first the homogenderal,
after being in a few relationships with both men and women there were things in each which i found seem to stick out... and i guess this is my attraction to the male "gender". by gender, I don't mean biological sex, but the male gender role, as in MASCULINITY. and i mean strictly. For example, I would much rather date a tom-boy girl than a fem twink. I have no problem with fem people, that's just not what I am personally attracted to. So that is why I consider myself homogenderal and not homosexual. I'd love feedback to that if you have some.
After being in a few long-term monogamous and relationships, I also noticed something else missing, and this is really what has got me thinking lately.
I realized that my fantasy, and by fantasy I mean sexual and non-sexual, I see myself in a polyamorous relationship, I had never really taken this seriously until recently, when I have began to think that I am polyamorous, in that I desire to be in a relationship with multiple people.
Now as I understand, there are different types of polyamory. I think my case might be unusual, but considering I am here maybe not (which is why I am here to get a feel for what polyamory is like). But when I say I fantasize about a polyamorous relationship, I don't mean having one partner, and then another, and being able to choose which I want whenever, but more in that I want the 3+ of us in an equal relationship, as in no two being more exclusive. I know there are many polyamorous relationships like this, but from my personal experiences, most polyamorous relationships I see deal with a couple that has already been dating many years, take on a third person. Also many times, while it seems to work sexually for a small time, that the third can cause issues, by sometimes feeling like he has come in between.
So I guess I'm seeking feedback on my idea of my polyamory. Ideally, I would like a relationship of 4 people, even three guys and one girl. Almost like a family, but like in a sexual way... which sound REALLY weird to me! so I was hoping to try and find a place to talk about this where it seems more normal.
ANYWAYSSS
sorry for typing a novel

a few other things about me...

I am a HUGE adrenaline junky! I love CARS! Love working on them and racing them, driving fast, etc. I also love other extreme sports from snowboarding to skydiving! Aside from those I am also an avid sports fan. I am a huge Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, fan and never turn down the opportunity to watch a game.

I am a senior in college, I'll be graduating in may with my bachelors. I'm a double major in poli sci and Russian, with a minor in international relations. I don't have a job lined up, so recently I've been considering the military.

I am super laid-back. I never fight. If there is a way to avoid drama, I will usually go lengths to do so. I think this also partially reflects in my polyamory.

I very independent. I moved out 15 and am an only child. I went to military school for a year, then moved to Russia. I moved back to go to college in Boston.




Hope to meet some cool people here
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:50 AM
polyFM polyFM is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 85
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WOW dude. Are you my twin?

Quote:
as in no two being more exclusive. I know there are many polyamorous relationships like this, but from my personal experiences, most polyamorous relationships I see deal with a couple that has already been dating many years, take on a third person. Also many times, while it seems to work sexually for a small time, that the third can cause issues, by sometimes feeling like he has come in between.
So I guess I'm seeking feedback on my idea of my polyamory. Ideally, I would like a relationship of 4 people, even three guys and one girl. Almost like a family, but like in a sexual way... which sound REALLY weird to me! so I was hoping to try and find a place to talk about this where it seems more normal.
I think that's the cool thing about polyamory - its roots give us "many love", which can be interpreted in so many ways. I feel like it's a really fluid kind of word, so I wouldn't worry about having the right or wrong idea. I have this fantasy of building a "commune" with 20+ people that are all just free-lovin', in an abundant atmosphere. Plenty of good food, time, love, cooperation... my (perhaps naive) dream is that with so much abundance, there won't be any reason for jealousy to rear its ugly head in any context. Instead of one person wiggling in with two, it's an entire community embracing that person, and everyone else. I think that's a version of polyamory, and there are plenty others.

Funny though - I'm from MA too. I grew up in central MA and went to school at UMass amherst. I'm also a bit of an adrenaline junky (skydiving, motorcycles, boxing, rock climbing, autocross (car's prepped, now I need to find time )).

I *also* moved out when I was younger, so I feel ya on the independence. And I think tomboys are hella sexy .

Sweet knowing I have a twin out there. Do you have asthma too?!

I'm curious though - Are you at all technically inclined? I feel like knowing another language makes you VERY marketable (read: exploitable) in the consulting industry, especially if paired with any kind of technical skills.

Cheers man and welcome!

Last edited by polyFM; 03-09-2012 at 05:57 AM.
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  #3  
Old 03-09-2012, 02:36 PM
StreetRacer StreetRacer is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 26
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haha awesome! love meeting relatable people! and ur pretty to the T
i have sports induced asthma, but was much worse as kid than it is now
i go to umass amherst :P
PM so we can talk more
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  #4  
Old 03-12-2012, 12:40 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,056
Default Poly Community

Quote:
Originally Posted by polyFM View Post
I have this fantasy of building a "commune" with 20+ people that are all just free-lovin', in an abundant atmosphere. Plenty of good food, time, love, cooperation... my (perhaps naive) dream is that with so much abundance, there won't be any reason for jealousy to rear its ugly head in any context. Instead of one person wiggling in with two, it's an entire community embracing that person, and everyone else.
I also have a fantasy life that includes this dream. Not as something that I am actively looking for but as a "thought experiment" as to how this could work on a day to day basis. Someday, when I have plenty of time on my hands, I think that I would like to write a science-fiction novel including this concept. (Whenever I find myself with un-occupied time on my hands - a rare occurence - I mentally will write a "chapter" of this novel...geeky? yeah probably )

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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