Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-09-2012, 08:41 PM
NovemberRain's Avatar
NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

Originally Posted by insanity View Post
I was always fond of polyamory, even when I didn't even know what it is called, but I never really experienced it so I don't know if I am doing things right..

I sometimes feel confused, I know that when you're in a relationship with someone you still can be passionate about other things/people...
but since I am having hard time delivering it to my boyfriend and for now just simply explaining this girl to him as 'a friend with benefits'
so he pretends I have no feelings for her, but when I am with her i feel like an emotional cheater..
First, I encourage you to give up the idea of the 'right' way to do it. There are probably more ways to 'do' poly than there are people doing it. The right way is for you to feel better, though, if you must have a right way; while caring about your partners.

If you're explaining it as FWB, then why would he NOT think you didn't 'have feelings' for her? Me, I'd be disappointed in my partners if they told me they found a new girl they wanted to have sex with but they didn't have feelings for her, they only loved me. [not that there's anything wrong with that, lots of folks do FWB and I'm perfectly fine with folks who are fine with that] It's just not how we are.

When I am with one partner, I feel so much so much love for the both of them. It increases my love for each one. It doesn't make me feel guilty or like a cheater. It feels like I have more to give them both. And while I'm much older than you, and have more life experience, I'm pretty damn new to this poly thing too.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 04:34 AM.