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Old 03-04-2012, 05:11 AM
Qarzan Qarzan is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 39
Default Exploring polyamory

Hi! I've just recently learned about polyamory and decided to join this forum.

Just last year I went through a divorce (married for 7 years) and have been questioning everything I believe in.

I think the biggest step for me was accepting my ex-wife for who she was, not being angry at her, and still remaining friends. The divorce became final only 4 months ago, but we're already talking with each other, having dinner together, sharing details of our lives... I care about her more than any of my other friends, and still consider her to be family (although my family feels otherwise).

This led me to start questioning traditional notions of love, starting with the idea, "Why do divorced people have to hate each other?" Then later on it developed the idea, "Why does involvement in one romantic relationship automatically preclude the development of another?"

I was first reading about Buddhism, and was in the process of identifying and controlling my negative traits, when I realized my biggest flaw was jealousy.

After more research about jealousy, I came upon the book "The Ethical Slut." A lot of it made sense and went well with what I was learning about Buddhism, so I decided to explore it a bit more, find out more about it, and make a truly informed decision about whether I should be polyamorous or monogamous.

Anyways, I will write more in other threads as questions and concerns develop. I've only just begun to learn about polyamory.
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Old 03-04-2012, 07:02 PM
NovemberRain's Avatar
NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

Welcome to the forum!
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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Old 03-06-2012, 02:12 AM
Moonglow Moonglow is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 151

Hi and welcome. Nice story, I often had wondered the same thing about divorce. I think for me it was the influence of others that made my ex stop talking to me. I miss him but I think it is ok to let him go his own way, I didn't try to influence him back into my life, but you do ask an interesting question.

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Old 03-07-2012, 11:23 PM
StreetRacer StreetRacer is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 26

Welcome, I'm new too
glad you can still have a positive relationship with your ex-wife
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