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  #31  
Old 06-23-2009, 08:48 PM
Northern Northern is offline
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Having been out to family and friends for a while now, this seems to be the easiest thing to do. While some may not understand it, most of the ones who feel this way are prepared to accept it (which I'm thankful for).

What can be awkward in this case is when talking to family on the phone, and they ask about which one I'm with at the time of calling. If whomever I'm with at the time hears this, I can't help but feel a bit embarassed for them, as it's sometimes said in a 'tired' tone.

Despite being in very liberal social circles, I don't know that many people who are poly, but all of my friends are in the know, and some have met both of my men.
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  #32  
Old 07-09-2009, 02:57 AM
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In coming out to my family I now get to enjoy it when they ask how Redpepper and her family are doing..that is worth it for me

My parents have shown an interest in knowing more about her husband as well as the rest of her family. This is pretty big for them as I was traditionally married for over 16 years. My ex-wife and daughter are clearly special to them so I respect and appreciate their acceptance even if it is without understanding

I am free to express my caring for my new family without secrets and I love that!
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  #33  
Old 07-09-2009, 03:51 AM
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That takes major cajones, my friend. You have my great respect and wishes for continued happiness.
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  #34  
Old 07-10-2009, 12:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
In coming out to my family I now get to enjoy it when they ask how Redpepper and her family are doing..that is worth it for me
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I am free to express my caring for my new family without secrets and I love that!
Geeze Mono...slow down!!! You're making the rest of me look bad!

Seriously though....that's awesome! For now I could only hope for a similar reaction from my parents....and I wouldn't even want to speculate about the inlaws!
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  #35  
Old 07-10-2009, 01:35 AM
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I wouldn't even want to speculate about the inlaws!
I am around Redpepper's parents a fair bit and have met both of her Husband's parents. I have even gone on a camping trip with thier family and have already been included in Xmas plans. They consider me a very close friend but we are waiting so they know Redpepper's family is not threatened by me and that me and her husband are good friends. I am in no hurry as my parents are 4000 miles away..hers are not!

But it does feel good!
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  #36  
Old 07-10-2009, 02:08 AM
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We are mostlyout... the majority of our mutual online friends know, some of my good friends here know as well as a few co-workers and my cousin and bmom (I was adopted and we're now very close). Everyone I have told has been very supportive. They can see the happiness on my face, and coming out of a relationship where I was unhappy for so many years, that seeing me this way is all they need to know. Of course they are also concerned, because as happy as they are for me, they are worried as I'm going to be joining a marriage and moving to the other side of the world.

My parents do not know at this stage. I DO intend to tell them once we have been living it for a while so that I can prove to them that it does work and I am completely happy. From what we've talked about, we're going to be fairly out. The kids will know age appropriate information and screw what anyone else thinks.

For me, I don't think I COULD hide it. Especially if someone asks me directly. I wouldn't actually. I love them so completely.
Now while I was there there were other dynamics happening, so the three of us were not out alone, there was my ex and the kids (who at this point do not know, but will before I come home). But while we were out alone together we would hold hands or have an arm around each other. They very well could have run into people they knew while we were out who first, would not have recognized me, and second, would have seen them both with another woman (hehe).
So, right now, we're most of the way out... I'd say two polys out of the closet lol (is it a closet for polys too? I'm still new to this)
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  #37  
Old 07-10-2009, 02:53 AM
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In all honesty I have never had an issue with who do I tell and who do I not, my mother raised my sister and I to never be ashamed of who we are and to stand behind our decisions even if it turns out to be the wrong one. Since it is another woman that we have in our lives I do often get the question "how can you be ok with your husband being with another woman" to which I reply that it isn't him with another woman, it is me...that always shuts them up!!! Considering the fact that out of us 5 girls and 1 boy in my family I am Bi, my twin is in a Lesbian marriage, my baby sister has just figured out she is Bi also and the sister between her and me is also Bi it isn't shocking that my family is ok with any of it!!! We are a very odd but open and open minded bunch! As for the work place, my lifestyle has no bearing on it and my boss knows (he has told me he thinks it is weird but he does ask questions and blushes a lot, he also thinks my husband is lucky to have a wife like me ) As for my co-workers, they met the partner we had when I first took over this store and some of them did ask questions but all were open minded about it though I think that has to do with the fact that I work with a predominantly younger group. Hope this helps some.
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  #38  
Old 07-10-2009, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aussielover View Post
We are mostlyout... the majority of our mutual online friends know, some of my good friends here know as well as a few co-workers and my cousin and bmom (I was adopted and we're now very close). Everyone I have told has been very supportive. They can see the happiness on my face, and coming out of a relationship where I was unhappy for so many years, that seeing me this way is all they need to know. Of course they are also concerned, because as happy as they are for me, they are worried as I'm going to be joining a marriage and moving to the other side of the world.

My parents do not know at this stage. I DO intend to tell them once we have been living it for a while so that I can prove to them that it does work and I am completely happy. From what we've talked about, we're going to be fairly out. The kids will know age appropriate information and screw what anyone else thinks.

For me, I don't think I COULD hide it. Especially if someone asks me directly. I wouldn't actually. I love them so completely.
Now while I was there there were other dynamics happening, so the three of us were not out alone, there was my ex and the kids (who at this point do not know, but will before I come home). But while we were out alone together we would hold hands or have an arm around each other. They very well could have run into people they knew while we were out who first, would not have recognized me, and second, would have seen them both with another woman (hehe).
So, right now, we're most of the way out... I'd say two polys out of the closet lol (is it a closet for polys too? I'm still new to this)
This. Again. Clever Girl.

We will be out. Family will be hardest I think but Im not worried at all. Our Lives. We have to live it and Screw everyone else. I know that Our kids will be very open to AussieLover. They adore her. And we feel they are young/old enough to grasp the concept without too many issue.
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  #39  
Old 07-10-2009, 03:58 PM
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I recently came out to pretty much everyone. I still have family members that don't know, but w/ time they too shall learn... and I don't care. I am finally happy in life. People that matter won't mind, and people that mind, don't matter.
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  #40  
Old 07-13-2009, 01:14 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Last night I opened up to the closest and longest running family friends I have. This was difficult because they are also the closest family friends of my ex-wife and daughter. We actually take turns going to their house and their kids call me uncle and her Aunt.

I asked my ex if she would like to sit down and talk about what is happening in my life so she did not get blind sided by rumours. She said she was not interested but I still worry about disrespecting her. I still love her, just not in an intimate way and one day hope to have a friendship with her again.

My friends were very accepting and new something was up. I was honestly running out of things to talk about with them because so much of my life involves Redpepper and her family. I told them that me holding back was preventing me from having the depth of family connection I want to maintain with them. Part of that is them getting to know my new developing family. I also told them I felt dishonest in not telling them everything.They understood and are happy I opened up.

It feels great to be honest and open with them about the changes and adventure in my life. They know I love Redpepper in a spousal committed way and were refreshing non-judgemental. I have yet to talk to someone who hasn't simply wanted me to be happy and healthy. Don't underestimate those that love you

Take care
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