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  #31  
Old 03-06-2012, 07:22 AM
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It sounds like there is a lot of mistrust going on around you. No one seems to trust anyone and the woman you have chosen to be with doesn't seem compassionate at all; just bossy and controlling. "Trust me by Sunday," "work on your trust issues," "stop smothering me" and then "bye for now I'm going out to some undisclosed place, with some people you don't know and I won't tell you about it because you are paranoid?" How are you suppose to be able to work on anything with a mother that choses douche bags for boyfriends and cheats on them and a girlfriend that cheats on you and expects you to just blindly trust? If you are surrounded by cheating women, its likely going to become a lifelong issue that you don't trust women.

If I were in your situation I would be asking her to work on this with you. She is the one that broke down your trust (and with a mother like yours I can see why you would think women can't be trusted), therefore I would be asking her to build it back up again by having integrity. Proving her integrity by telling you where she is going, who she is with, how long she will be and keeping her word (that she is not out fucking other men, etc.). Is she doing that? It doesn't sound like it. This is not smothering... this is you asking for her to respect your boundaries. If she respect your boundaries, you likely won't have a need to constantly question and pressure her.
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  #32  
Old 03-06-2012, 07:36 AM
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Well my mom wasn't always like that. When her and my dad were together he was thee one cheating. And I have had trust problems since my first girlfriend who was online lied to me and cheated on me with her ex-fiance and her mentally handicapped best friend.
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  #33  
Old 03-06-2012, 08:09 AM
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Mum, ex gf, whatever.. There is a lack of trust there and for good reason. I have said what I would do so take what you will from it and good luck.
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  #34  
Old 03-06-2012, 08:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerdpower13 View Post
I can't get an apartment because I have no job. I only make around $200 a month donating plasma which is nowhere near enough for rent anywhere.
A blunt question; What is preventing you from changing this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerdpower13 View Post
She really does love me and I want to make it work. I am going to tell her if she wants me to trust her she has to give me reasons to trust her.
Another blunt and frank question;
If you cant leave because you have no means to support yourself financially, and you wont leave because emotionally you cant stand be be alone, and you have a knack for absorbing her dishonesty, lies and ultimatums, Then why should she bother giving you a reason to trust her?

Hate to say it kid, Unless there is some kind of actual consequence to the way she treats you, then your input doesn't actually matter to her.

Look at it this way:
you caught her (very likely) cheating (again) and she does what again?
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Originally Posted by Nerdpower13 View Post
I was basically told that I have this week to decide if I can trust her or not and if I can't trust her then we can't be together.
You've also stated that you cant/wont leave her because you cant stand being alone AND have nowhere else to go. So this leaves you really only one course of action. Which is compliance.

She's obviously very well aware of this, and using it against you.

read that line about five or six times until it sinks in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerdpower13 View Post
I want to trust her. I love her and want to be with her. But I can't trust her when she keeps lying over and over again.
you are correct. Your "wants" are noble intentions, even though the latter part of your statement is an impossibility.

If I'm reading things correctly you are in your early 20s. Dude, life goes on, partners come and go, and in the end we're only stuck dealing with one person consistently in live, Ourselves.
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  #35  
Old 03-06-2012, 08:36 AM
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Nothing is preventing me from changing the fact that I don't have a job except for the fact that nobody will call me back after I apply.
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  #36  
Old 03-06-2012, 08:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerdpower13 View Post
Nothing is preventing me from changing the fact that I don't have a job except for the fact that nobody will call me back after I apply.
You mean no one will call you back when you WANT them to. It will take time. But wallowing and not being proactive is the surest way to guarantee not ever getting a job, much less a phone call and an interview.

You seem indifferent to your situation though, and I don't know what will help with that unless you alter the way you see things.
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  #37  
Old 03-06-2012, 09:06 AM
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Ah. That curse.

Have you tried a day-labour place?
Most require only boots and the willingness to take a manual shit-job, you don't really have to apply so much as show up in the wee hours of the morning and most pay out cash daily.

Its terrible work, always terrible work that doesn't pay nearly enough, but its also a quick way to build up some references and rub elbows with possible employers.
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  #38  
Old 03-06-2012, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerdpower13 View Post
Nothing is preventing me from changing the fact that I don't have a job except for the fact that nobody will call me back after I apply.
Do you call them back and let them know you're really interested?
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  #39  
Old 03-06-2012, 10:44 AM
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Yes when they provide a number. They all just tell me they'll let me know if I am going to be moving on to the next stage of the hiring process.
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  #40  
Old 03-07-2012, 06:10 AM
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So we talked and made a decision. We're going to stay together until we both get enough money and I have a job then we're going to split up on good terms and still remain friends.
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