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Old 09-10-2012, 05:55 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

I am sorry about this. It doesn't really take anger to end the relationship, you can do it amicably, and be kind to both him and yourself. Ugly discussions wont do any of you any good, it won't make him change his behavior OR your hurt, and it wont leave you feeling good about yourself.

When my ex-husband and I split up, we could have made it ugly, but chose not to, so we still benefit from each others friendship years later. Maybe you could write a practice letter about what you need to say, and either give it to him or say exactly that, and not engage in further discussions after you've said the relationship is ending. Maybe have the conversation at a park or somewhere private but not in your home, so you don't have the chance to have hours long arguments that circle around and around and dont accomplish anything useful.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:45 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Every ex I have remains on friendly terms with me. Including the father of my first child. It simply is not necessary to be nasty in a break up.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:07 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,376

So sorry things didn't work out . I hope you both have a smooth and peaceful untangling.

Good luck dh
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:13 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,381

I am sorry you are hurting right now.

It sounds like you had wants and needs going unmet during his relationship with his Other.

And him breaking it off with his Other stirred things up in you?

Since you have decided to break it off with him as well, I hope you can break up smoothly, quick, and clean.

It doesn't need to be automatic dramatic/anger type break up. Sometimes break ups are quiet, firm, and loving because it is what is best for the relationship and the people in it.

I'll hope for a loving, firm break up then for you.

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