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  #1  
Old 04-05-2012, 10:53 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
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Default Hinge of a MFM V

Hi, I'm Bunny. I am a bi-sexual, poly woman in my mid-twenties. I love to have sex and be loving, it's my favorite thing to do. I work with small children for a living and I want a baby so badly!

I have been living with my partner Badger for 4 years. He is a straight, mono male in his mid 20's. Badger is outgoing, funny, gregarious, super affectionate and loving. He also suffers from depression, rarely leaves the house except for work, is addicted to video games, has a much lower sex drive than me, and has quit multiple jobs against my wishes and he currently work a part time minimum wage job. He loves me very much, but he is dependent on me financially so there is a disparity in power. I can be resentful, especially when money is tight. He wants to have a baby with me, but I am scared that I can't trust him because he is irresponsible.

Turtle and I met 9 months ago and have been dating for a few months. We have been in love for a month-and-a-half. Turtle is a straight, poly (in theory, never in practice) male in his early 30's. He's introverted, quiet around most people, sensitive to rejection, responsible, steadfast, independant, risk-adverse, long-term thinker, pidantic, deliberate, wealthy but lives cheaply and saves, dry sense of humor, positive, affectionate in touch and action but not in words, sometimes says the wrong thing, brutally honest. I'm totally in NRE and he seems perfect to me most of the time.
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  #2  
Old 04-06-2012, 04:46 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Welcome, Bunny

*relates*

I'm quite a bit older, but I'm also a hinge in a MFM vee; and my men have many of the same attributes as yours.

I really like it here at polyamory.com, hope you will too.
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Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #3  
Old 04-06-2012, 05:32 AM
Heropsychodream Heropsychodream is offline
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Hi Bunny!

I'm new here as well (mfm v too!) but providing you stick around I think you will see, like me, that everyone is accepting, friendly, and wise beyond their years here.

We wanna know your story! How long have you identified as poly and when/how did you make the transition? Unrelated, but still interesting is how do your partners feel about a baby in an mfm vee? I know my partner would revert back to mono but how would yours react?
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Old 04-06-2012, 06:37 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Hey Bunny, I am Phy, a bi-sexual, poly woman in my late twenties, hinge of a mfm vee, working with children and thinking about a baby as well

Strange how things seem so similar sometimes. Welcome to the forum, I hope you will have a great and helpful time reading all the threats.
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  #5  
Old 04-06-2012, 03:30 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Hi and welcome,

Are you married to you partner of 4yrs?

How's doing with all of this?

How did you decide to participate in this lifestyle?
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  #6  
Old 04-06-2012, 05:18 PM
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LotusesandRoses LotusesandRoses is offline
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Welcome. Are you me?

Works with kids, pan/bi woman in her 20's (late still counts), thinking about a baby (though I have so much farther to go with my own career before I squeeze one out). Jeez, how odd, except I'm unattached.
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  #7  
Old 04-06-2012, 07:27 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
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Wow, thanks for the warm welcome! It's cool to see so many people in common situations.

Badger and I aren't legally married, but I have a ring, we had a wedding, and we own a house together. So, even though I call him my Husband and Turtle my boyfriend I don't have a heirarchy.

When I first met Turtle I also met some people who were practicing poly. At first I didn't think it was for me, but then I was getting to know Turtle. He kept bring it up and letting me know that he was cool with being in a poly relationship. I liked him a lot and starting having these fantasies about him joining the family.

So Badger was totally against the idea, but I kept pushing it. I asked Turtle if he was interested, and he was. So, I went for it. It was very hard at first because Badger was really hurting, but now, 5 months later, he is mostly okay with it. He wants me to be happy. But he misses me when I sleep over Turtle's. We started off with rules like only oral, but the training wheels came off 6 weeks ago. Now I sleep over once a week and see him about 3 days of the week.

So I want a baby, Badger wants a baby, but we don't have enough money. I wish money didn't matter, but it does. I was trying to get pregnant, but Badger quit his job randomly so I've made him wrap it up ever sense (about 7 months ago). Turtle has an ED problem that is much improved by bareback. So, we've been using pull-out when I am fertile. He is on the fence about having a baby with me. I think I would like to. We are going to get together and hash out a pregnancy plan so we know if we're on the same page and how much risk we are willing to take. Badger really doesn't want me to have a baby with him, he said he would leave. Turtle doesn't mind being a step-dad, he thinks he would like it.
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Old 04-07-2012, 12:08 AM
km34 km34 is offline
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First of all... Welcome! I worked with kids under 4 for a while and LOVED IT! It honestly helped me fight the baby urge, though, since I got to have the fun and lovin' from them. lol Now that I'm not around them, I feel the urge to procreate, but I know it doesn't fit into my long term wishes so... Yeah! Anyway...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
So I want a baby, Badger wants a baby, but we don't have enough money. I wish money didn't matter, but it does. I was trying to get pregnant, but Badger quit his job randomly so I've made him wrap it up ever sense (about 7 months ago). Turtle has an ED problem that is much improved by bareback. So, we've been using pull-out when I am fertile. He is on the fence about having a baby with me. I think I would like to. We are going to get together and hash out a pregnancy plan so we know if we're on the same page and how much risk we are willing to take. Badger really doesn't want me to have a baby with him, he said he would leave. Turtle doesn't mind being a step-dad, he thinks he would like it.
This sounds like a terrible position to be in. Why did Badger quit his job? Did he consult you at all beforehand to discuss the impact it would have on your current goals?

In the part I emphasized, you say you are going to get together to figure out a pregnancy plan. Is this going to include all three of you or just you and Turtle? Isn't 9 months after meeting someone WAAAAYYYY early to be considering having a child with him? I mean, I consider the first year a "getting to know you" phase since you have to make sure NRE has worn off, see each other in various situations, and make sure you are both committed to the same things long term. If Badger is serious about not being able to handle you having Turtle's baby, are you willing to take any risk at all (besides the minimal risk that is taken with protected sex anyway)?
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  #9  
Old 04-07-2012, 12:54 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
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Quote:
This sounds like a terrible position to be in. Why did Badger quit his job? Did he consult you at all beforehand to discuss the impact it would have on your current goals?
No, he just stopped going. He was just depressed I guess. I tried to get him to go, but he wouldn't.
Quote:
In the part I emphasized, you say you are going to get together to figure out a pregnancy plan. Is this going to include all three of you or just you and Turtle? Isn't 9 months after meeting someone WAAAAYYYY early to be considering having a child with him? I mean, I consider the first year a "getting to know you" phase since you have to make sure NRE has worn off, see each other in various situations, and make sure you are both committed to the same things long term. If Badger is serious about not being able to handle you having Turtle's baby, are you willing to take any risk at all (besides the minimal risk that is taken with protected sex anyway)?
I would like it if Badger stuck around and helped raise my child, but that's his decision. I was conceived to parents who knew eachother less than a year, so was my Mother. My Grandparents are about to have their 50th wedding anniversary, so if it worked for them it can work for me. I would rather spend my NRE being pregnant and raising an infant. I think I can see Turtle's character by his actions before I met him and with other people. I am willing to lose Badger for Turtle's baby, without hesitation. I can't sacrifice what I want out of life for him and our relationship.
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  #10  
Old 04-07-2012, 01:43 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Don't think of it as having a baby. Think of it as having and raising a child to adulthood. An enormous responsibility. Not just for the financial aspect but for taking responsibility of the child's emotional and psychological well-being. HUGE.

You have one depressed partner who quit his minimum-wage job, another who isn't sure he wants to be a father, and you say money is tight. Have you figured out a budget? Common sense should tell you that this is no time to have and raise a child. We are in an economic depression right now. Being on welfare to do it won't be very rewarding. The stress alone will be difficult, and you need partners who will be there for you. I think you should rethink your fascination with "having a baby" and wait a few years until your life is more stable.
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