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Old 02-29-2012, 12:31 AM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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Default meeting the bf at her housewarming party

I've had two great dates with a woman I met online. First was tea and a gallery walk, and second was an epic twelve hours with fun activities, super-intimate conversation, snuggling, and sex.

I'm really smitten with her, so I sent her a card with a print she liked from the gallery and let her know. She loved it and seems quite interested in me too.

She added me on fb, and as we were messaging on there, I asked if she was free Saturday. She said she was having a party at her place and asked if I would like to come. I said yes, and then she said I could bring my wife if I wanted.

I'm absurdly introverted, and want to get out of my comfort zone and meet new people, so I'm not going to bring my wife. If I did, I'd just cling to her the whole time. If I build a relationship with the new woman, they can meet later.

Now I'm sort of stressing over how to act at the party. If it weren't a backhanded invitation, I probably wouldn't be so worried, but whatever.

It's a housewarming party. (She just moved.) I've met her roommate, but will know no one else. I imagine her bf of 1.5 years will be there. Who knows who else. She's out to her fam.

While the idea of polyamory is not new to me, the practice is. Anyone have words of wisdom for this situation?

(Edit: I just realized this probably belongs in Poly Relationships Corner. Anyone want to move it?)
(Mod edit: moved)

Last edited by AutumnalTone; 02-29-2012 at 04:20 PM.
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:38 AM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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Go. Be chill. You're making more of this in your head than exists from what you've described. You've gone out twice. You've had half a day of sexy time. She's likely going to introduce you as a friend since, well, that's what you are right now.

If you're looking for practical advice - show up about a half-hour after the party starts and leave when 75 percent of the guests have already gone out. Don't expect this to be a "date" between you two - force yourself to talk, however awkwardly, with some other folks in the room. Or just sit with a glass of wine and a mild smirk on your face - it'll make people wonder.

Most importantly? Have fun. It is a party afterall.
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:55 AM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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I agree with every word of what you wrote, Pretzels. I can only be chill by putting on an affectation of being chill, tho, because I'm generally a nervous wreck.

Last edited by tachycardia; 02-29-2012 at 02:13 AM.
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:52 AM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tachycardia View Post
I agree with every word of what you wrote, Pretzels. I can only be chill by putting on an affectation of being chill, tho, because I'm generally a nervous wreck.
I used to interview people for a living and I still actually consider myself to be a mild introvert. One of the tricks I do to trick myself into going out sometimes is not focusing on the first 30 minutes of going somewhere but the next 30 minutes when I'm already there and having a better time than I thought I would. Maybe that could work for you, too?
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Old 02-29-2012, 05:57 AM
sixta sixta is offline
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we (hubby and i) recently had an Alcohol Potluck at the house last wkend where some family and friends gathered, along with my bf (for the first time). he met my husband once prior, so it took the edge off his nerves and they had a good rapport. might be nice if you guys can do a group thing with her friends or take out the bf for a beer so you'll have familiarity with people other than her at the party good luck, have fun!
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:32 PM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretzels View Post
One of the tricks I do to trick myself into going out sometimes is not focusing on the first 30 minutes of going somewhere but the next 30 minutes when I'm already there and having a better time than I thought I would.
Clever.

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Originally Posted by sixta View Post
might be nice if you guys can do a group thing with her friends or take out the bf for a beer so you'll have familiarity with people other than her at the party
Yeah, I'd like that, but because I've only seen her twice and there isn't much time, it's probably best to play it cool and not make a thing about it. I think as long as I keep a mindset of "this is her housewarming party and I happen to be at it" rather than "I'm at her party" then I should be fine.

Last edited by tachycardia; 02-29-2012 at 03:36 PM.
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