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Old 08-14-2014, 04:48 AM
aracnae aracnae is offline
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Default The Long and Winding Road

I have been in poly relationships for about 4 years now, but this is my first time getting in touch with any poly community. When I first started, I didn't realize it was a thing. All I knew was that I had a husband who wanted to sleep around, and I was strangely okay with it. After much discussion, we determined that it would be okay if we tried an open relationship.
We had friends who were in an open relationship, who were willing to explore that idea, and so we invited them over and tried "swinging". From that point on, I knew that monogamy wasn't for me. Unfortunately, my husband and I had a falling out. He didn't want to work, or take care of our two kids, and was gradually becoming more and more distant, and I'd had enough. Meanwhile, he found a girlfriend who didn't care if he did nothing, and I became more a part of our friend's relationship, developing strong feelings for both of them.
I've had a lot of turbulence over the past few years. I've been sick to the point of almost death due to some bad anti-seizure meds, had to give up my kids to my husband, who treated us all badly, and moved them around at a whim (I chose homelessness to stay close to them, and have only once again regained stability with my two kids), lost and found love.
I am now, once again in an open relationship with a man, and we're only passively looking for a girlfriend (we're still enjoying a sort of honeymoon phase on our own), as well as a romantic relationship I've had on and off and now maintain long-distance with my best friend/ "wife", and I couldn't be happier. I love the town I landed in pretty much by chance, and am hoping to spend the rest of my life here with my new family, plus whoever we all decide to add to the mix.
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Old 08-19-2014, 09:32 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi aracnae,

Wow, you have had an eventful life; I am glad you have ended up in a place and relationship/s that are good for you.

How old are your kids? Do you hear from them often?

I look forward to hearing more of your story.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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Old 08-19-2014, 09:48 PM
aracnae aracnae is offline
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They're 8 and 9, and they live with me at this point.
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Old 08-20-2014, 01:04 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Oh good. I was worried when I heard you had to give them up to your husband, who treated them badly. Sounds like getting them back was a major project (rereading your OP).
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Old 08-20-2014, 05:33 AM
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maxnsue maxnsue is offline
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The good news is that it is very doable. My wife, shared girlfriend/wife and I have been in a poly relationship for 38 years. We went about it very differently than most and like you, never went on the internet or considered our life as anything but normal. Our big difference is that neither of us dated anyone. We simple took a long time friendship with the same women to another level. There was none of the usual problems of having an outsider fit into an existing marriage. My wife likes to watch too. Never found out why but she loves to watch and then either join in or just go one on one with me. In our case, my wife and g/f never have sex with each other unless I am in the room with them. They are not intimate with each other outside of the bedroom but I am. Kind of weird but you cannot argue with success.
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