Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-27-2011, 08:58 PM
jcdlove jcdlove is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 7
Default New to Trinogamy

I moved my post to this sight from introductions.... I feel like pulling out of the relationship and let my husband and our bf continue the relationship.. I would simply be there for the kids and my husband if he wishes. I can't get over the possible truth that bf is really wanting a relationship with my husband than with me... I don't know how to trust my bf saying that he wants me there too... his daily actions most of the time is geared towards my husbNd.. I am being a child ... I know...I am upsetting my husband... and I am are my bf
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-28-2011, 08:40 AM
Storm Storm is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 53
Default

I think you should sit down with both of them and talk about your feelings on this. Not just with your husband. Ask the third if he has no interest in you. At least then you would know rather than having these doubts that are hurting you. Communication is key. Something I learned the hard way and something that is advocated here over and over again.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-28-2011, 09:56 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

I am hearing that you are hurt but ya know what? Vee's aren't so bad. I live in one and it works fine. Lots of love and togetherness, just that two of us are not gf/bf. Your situation is thee most common scenario for a triad situation over time. Its hard work, but communicating that you feel left out is the best start I think. Be sure that the men in your life aren't caving in and including you because they feel sorry for you though. Pity sex sucks.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-28-2011, 10:09 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,229
Default

I would say the most important thing you can do right now is to make sure you're getting what you need from your husband. Perhaps love will flourish between your husband and the bf and not you and the bf, but that's no reason you should have to feel abandoned by your husband in any way. RP is correct that vees often seem to be more common and stable than triads and can be very satisfying for all involved even though it may not be what you all envisioned initially. Let us know if you have any questions about the terms being used or if there are any specific problems beyond vague feelings of being left out that we might be able to help you address.
__________________
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-20-2012, 04:20 AM
jcdlove jcdlove is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 7
Default

It has been almost 3 months since I last posted...First of all, I want to thank everyone for your wonderful advice. It has helped me to understand this new relationship that I am experiencing. Well, now it's going on four months and I feel that I am starting to understand and accept what our relationship is. I am addressing my jealousy and immediately making sense of it and moving on. We have had many challenging moments since the last time I posted, but each event has made us stronger....allowed us to learn more about each other and our relationship. We are now on vacation in the mountains and we are having a blast with our children. I love both, my husband and our lover and we have grown together as a triad. It is amazing....I am going to do my part to work on my feelings as they come up but replace them with reality...the love, and caring that both of them share with me. I am sure this will continue...as long as I don't revert back to focusing on my insecurities. This forum is great!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-20-2012, 05:49 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

thanks for a happy update.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
triad, triads

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:10 AM.