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Old 02-19-2010, 10:03 PM
turtle turtle is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2
Default New to the Poly-world around me

Hi everyone. I have been with my girlfriend for 16 years, we have had our ups and downs. She has gone out to try and find herself and brought back a Master in her dominate and sub-missive relationship. At first it did not go well between us. Totally blew me out of the water. They were together for 6 years, the last year I spent sometime being with the both of them being his second submissive sex and whatever else happened. We started talking about Polyamory during that year and I found it very interesting. So when we would go to the Wiccan festivals I would go to classes where they would talk about Polyamory and I found them to be really interesting. A few months after my girlfriend broke up with her master we started seeing our bestfriend that we just got back in touch with and have to been together just over 6 months. I am having issues of jealousy because my girlfriend and my bestfriend spend a lot more time together. Just have these huge feeling of being left out. I have tried to calm those feelings and it just seems I am just confusing myself and them. I would appreciate any advise anyone can get and if more info is need wll gladly share.
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Old 02-19-2010, 11:47 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default Welcome

Hi Turtle - and welcome !
Hope you enjoy browsing here.

To offer just a simple word or two in response ....

First I'd suggest just explain to them exactly what you explained to us ! That simple. In a non-confrontational manner. Just share feelings.

Other than that I'd suggest getting clear in your head about the difference between jealousy & envy. Something that's discussed in some depth both here and on other poly sites. We all tend to throw the terms around interchangeably but that's only ok when everyone involved understands what our concern really is. Because the necessary action can be quite different.
Maybe for example it's simply a case of logistics that gives them more time together because of schedules that coincide - but conflict with yours. Who knows. It will come out as you get talking and I bet solutions CAN be found. As long as the true desire (and concern) is there on everyone's part it could be as simple as that.

Good luck !

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Old 02-20-2010, 06:39 PM
turtle turtle is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2

Thanks GS your words of advise were reallly good and I appreciate them.
Thanks again,
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