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  #11  
Old 02-09-2010, 01:01 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Yes - I don't really think I would have a problem with an ex. That really isn't the issue at hand. But - I don't think it is negative to think about it... Just realistic - most relationships don't last and - some people are drama.
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  #12  
Old 02-09-2010, 02:19 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
I don't think it is negative to think about it... Just realistic -
Right there with you.

At the very least, it's difficult to go into any situation with eyes wide open if at least the likely possibilities have not been considered.
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  #13  
Old 02-09-2010, 02:57 AM
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Seasnail Seasnail is offline
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Originally Posted by sunnydee View Post
However, you can't really make that decision for your partner, imo, and, really, you are two distinct adults, so what your partner does really doesn't reflect on you.
Wouldn't it be nice if it were true that one's partners actions don't really reflect on oneself? I think they do!

If my co-workers were to see my husband out on a date, they would likely think he was having an affair. They would probably have strong feelings about this, and apply those feelings to me. Maybe they would tell me, maybe not. Even if I told them that my HB had my blessing, many of my co-workers and clients would believe that I condone unethical behaviour, and my credibility would go down the toilet.

Yeah, it's totally crappy, but in some professions, it matters what the dominant culture THINKS of you.
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Old 02-09-2010, 02:29 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by Seasnail View Post
Wouldn't it be nice if it were true that one's partners actions don't really reflect on oneself? I think they do!

If my co-workers were to see my husband out on a date, they would likely think he was having an affair. They would probably have strong feelings about this, and apply those feelings to me. Maybe they would tell me, maybe not. Even if I told them that my HB had my blessing, many of my co-workers and clients would believe that I condone unethical behaviour, and my credibility would go down the toilet.

Yeah, it's totally crappy, but in some professions, it matters what the dominant culture THINKS of you.
Yea........
This is the kind of thing I was connecting to in my earlier reply.
As anyone might guess - political correctness is probably on the absolute bottom of my priority list. But that's not what these situations are about. It's really about acknowledging the reality of the culture around us and what impact our actions may have. In some cases you have to look at your place in the game and determine who/what could be damaged or weakened because of our actions. If for example your position/place has a positive impact on a much wider circle/group and that position could be destroyed - then potentially that complete circle could be damaged.
Where is the 'greater good' ?

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