Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-11-2012, 03:28 AM
justme33 justme33 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
Default Looking for advice

I have recently discussed adding another wife with my current wife and she has asked me what the benefits would be for both her and the other woman. I have explained the obvious but she would like to hear more. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-11-2012, 03:36 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 6,754
Default

What are the "obvious" benefits you told her??? I wouldn't think anything is particularly obvious, since it depends on the people involved.
__________________
Hot chick in the city.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me.
~Bryan Ferry

Last edited by nycindie; 02-11-2012 at 03:39 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-11-2012, 03:39 AM
justme33 justme33 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
Default

I have explained having another person to help with the children would be a definate benefit as well as having another adult for conversation. I work 24 hour shifts and am gone every other day.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-11-2012, 04:26 AM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 814
Default

I feel a bit bratty, so I will say that I think in your situation there would be more benefits of having another man around the house than another woman.

Really if my husband was only home every other day, I wouldn't want to have to swap off nights ALWAYS because there was another live in partner (or be forced to share a bed with both of you to get time with you). And if I was not bisexual and didn't happen to be dating this other woman that I'D chosen as a live in partner because she was so awesome, I'd be irritated at spending every other day totally alone sharing all my personal space with my husband's other partner.
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-11-2012, 04:33 AM
justme33 justme33 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
Default

Guess I should have been more specific about things. They are both bi and we have been having a relationship and sharing the same bed for about 6 months now.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-11-2012, 04:38 AM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 814
Default

Well then I have to say, if she is dating her and doesn't want to marry her/bring her in to live with you full time, then the benefits you could think of such as extra help with child care/house work/24 hour company - probably just aren't enough of a selling point to give up the privacy and independence she can get by having some time to herself in your house.

I think that after dating somebody for 6 months I'd have a pretty good idea if I wanted to live with them or not. I'm not sure somebody could convince me I wanted it with a list of practical reasons if I didn't already want it.
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-11-2012, 06:19 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 6,754
Default

^ I agree. Plus, while six months should be long enough to know whether you'd consider having someone move in with you, it still could be way to soon to do so. That is really just the beginning stages of a relationship, so it's better to be cautious and take it slowly when it comes to making a major change to your living situation. If your wife doesn't want it and "needs convincing," is there a reason you're pushing for this at this early stage? Is this something your gf wants?
__________________
Hot chick in the city.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me.
~Bryan Ferry
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-12-2012, 06:40 AM
km34 km34 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
I think that after dating somebody for 6 months I'd have a pretty good idea if I wanted to live with them or not. I'm not sure somebody could convince me I wanted it with a list of practical reasons if I didn't already want it.
I agree with this. If they are dating, your wife should KNOW whether or not she is interested in living with your gf. Has she told you her reasons for hesitating? I find it VERY hard to live with women in general, even if I care about them a lot. Maybe your wife is just not wanting to share HER house with another woman full-time, that's a huge adjustment when you're used to being on your own fairly often.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
cohabitation, moving, moving in, triad

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:25 AM.