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Old 09-25-2012, 09:17 PM
PseudonymTruth PseudonymTruth is offline
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Location: MI
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Default Why, Hello there :)

Hey there you guys can call me PT I guess. I am 22 years old femail, I have two little girls and am very interested in polyamory. Guess that's why I find myself here.

I was in a 7 year relationship, towards the end we had decided to try an open relationship. By our definition it was he could have sex with whomever he wanted and I could fool around with people. The me fooling around with people happened to be rather normal for us considering for years I had done just that with one of my ex's friends with no issue but the title changed things. We broke up shortly after not from the open relationship but from other more pressing issues.

Now I find myself still interacting with the person who I had been open with during my previous relationship but it is odd to me. He is married, I adore his wife and they have an open relationship. He and I have developed feelings for each other, which the wife knows about. We both hold a lot back because with there open rules the emotional thing is a no no. This last weekend I spent with them, we hung out. All sat together, him in the middle as we watched movies, holding hands and such. He even woke me up with sex the day I left.

I am just confused by what is going on, how to communicate with her. Even how to communicate with him. Honestly what confuses me more is that I have no jealousy. I think they are the cutest thing in the world, absolutely adore there relationship and adore the way I fit into it at the moment.

Last edited by PseudonymTruth; 09-25-2012 at 09:34 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10-04-2012, 11:36 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
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Greetings PT,

Sorry I am so late in signing on here and that, but welcome welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay here. I lived in Michigan for about 20 years, so small world!

Re: communication ... do you know specifically what you'd like to talk to them about, or are you just feeling confused in general, and wondering what to say to them? Communication is certainly one of the most important parts of a relationship, especially if it's a poly relationship.

How do you feel about the emotional limitations on your relationship with her husband? Sometimes it's quite difficult to keep things casual.

Anyway, I hope Polyamory.com is enjoyable and of help to you.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #3  
Old 10-05-2012, 09:04 PM
Arinbjorn Arinbjorn is offline
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Welcome to the forums.

In my experiences, communication has been hugely important. Even if emotional attachment is still the rule, I would communicate it, and see what happens. Let everyone know you still want to abide by whatever makes them happy - but harboring emotions usually doesn't work out so well.

You'll feel better, at least. And the people you care about will appreciate that you were brave enough to voice what you feel. Just because you feel something doesn't mean you will start doing things that go against the rules.

I myself find it impossible to have a sexual relationship with someone without cultivating some form of feelings. It's still a choice as to what a person does with those feelings.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:18 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Re:
Quote:
"It's still a choice as to what a person does with those feelings."
Good point, Arinbjorn.
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