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Old 02-05-2012, 01:20 AM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 212
Default Watching your loved one fall in love.

Nothing can really get you ready for watching your partner fall for someone else! It can really knock you on your ass, and i think it makes lots of sense that you're feeling put out. It's hard to see someone you love giving something you really want/cherish/desire to someone else when you're not really enjoying that in your own relationship. There's some great wisdom on her in that you can refocus on building a relationship that you really love with her in the time that you have together. do exciting things, confide in her, build that love and sexual desire fire up!!

Don't resent, it jes' makes it worse. It's here, it's not going away, so try to find your peace. Hugs - it's not easy.
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Old 02-06-2012, 03:51 PM
SmoovMochaNut SmoovMochaNut is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 8

Originally Posted by polyexplorer View Post

...my wife is the first one to find "success" in terms of meeting someone she has developed strong a "strong interest" for... This is difficult for me....

But the greatest pain has been seeing how open she is ...This new relationship shows this up even more. I have always hoped that she would be more open with me, and it hurts to see that she can be with someone else, and that someone else is getting immediately from her something I have been hoping for for....

In the meantime it still does hurt to see it happening with someone else...

Thanks again!
Are wives are very similar in this aspect. Almost completely open to her new friends...but remain guarded with us...almost holding kind of a privacy shield. It is very hurtful to see the woman you thought was very open with you be truthfully open to somebody that she barely even knows (in comparison to you). I know that I've learned a lot about my wife in this very situation --- she has "chosen" to keep a very deeply-guarded part of herself from me. I don't have this special place in my personality where I dream of relationships & sex with other women but remain happily married to her. That's what she wants - she wants to have her cake (family, money, house, security with me) and to eat it too (side relationship with somebody she finds more interesting).

We've been married for over 10yrs - together for almost 15yrs - and I think we is basically "bored with me". She loves me, i fuck her good like we 1st met, she trusts me to be faithful in our relationship, but she barely expresses any intimacy with me...usually isn't flirty/playful unless she's really thinking about fucking. If somebody didn't know us, they think we were good friends or roommates. She very rarely initiates sex & it's very hard to "read" her - never know if she wants to be intimate. I usually have to come out and blatantly ask if she wants to have some play time. Now, if we go out to a club or party, she will attach herself to me like glue as if to make sure no other woman approaches me. Crazy.

I really don't think she wants to share me, but she wants me to share her & allow her to see other people. She doesn't want to leave me or divorce though.
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married and polyamorous, new to polyamory

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