Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-29-2010, 01:04 AM
Lemondrop's Avatar
Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 305
Default They think we're sisters...

So, my female partner (sorry, she's not on the forum and I can't come up with a cute name for her yet) and I apparently look alike in some way. We frequently get asked if we're sisters--at the Y, in the stores, by our children's teachers. It's not really a big deal, but I find it creepy, and I always feel awkward after I say no, like there's more explanation required. My partner says it's just because we're very familiar with each other and people are trying to find an explanation that fits.

What do you think? What would you say when this happens? Would you just shrug it off? Would you feel creepy?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-29-2010, 01:30 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,868
Default

It happened with our ex and my wife. They have a TONNE in common, tended to dress very similar. People always tried to attach the "what" to the two of them.

Sorry in my case, it was one of the things that made her uncomfortable. She felt a very sisterly bond to my wife and has broken off the sexual side of the relationship. It was a piece of the discomfort. My wife did not feel the same "creepiness", but it only takes one side to get creeped out

What did I say?...I was vetoed in this case, I was more than willing to be open and tell them...my gf was not...and my wife backed my gf. So I just kept my mouth shut and smiled.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-29-2010, 01:51 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,076
Default

Green gecko and I get that (he's not my sister obviously and doens't look it) but people ask if he's my brother, especially because he does a lot of activities with the kids (like scouts).
I just look at them, laugh and say no. Then carry on usually.

It really depends on if you want to be "outed" as a couple or not. Generally GG and Maca prefer we NOT do that, but there are some people I just don't care, and I say 'uh no, he's my bf."
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-29-2010, 04:04 AM
indigo's Avatar
indigo indigo is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Dublin, CA
Posts: 15
Default

Ha! It's been a while since I've been in a relationship with a woman and I had completely forgotten this aspect but yes, people were ALWAYS asking my gf's and I if we were sisters and we looked absolutely nothing alike. It seemed like a way to ask if we were lesbians without being so direct.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-29-2010, 03:07 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post
So, my female partner (sorry, she's not on the forum and I can't come up with a cute name for her yet) and I apparently look alike in some way. We frequently get asked if we're sisters--at the Y, in the stores, by our children's teachers. It's not really a big deal, but I find it creepy, and I always feel awkward after I say no, like there's more explanation required. My partner says it's just because we're very familiar with each other and people are trying to find an explanation that fits.

What do you think? What would you say when this happens? Would you just shrug it off? Would you feel creepy?
Hmmmmmm,
How about......
"Naw, but because our kids are the same ages we seem to be ending up a lot in the same places and being good friends. Maybe we are 'rubbing off' on each other?"
Then grin and walk away

GS
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-29-2010, 06:29 PM
Faery Faery is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 14
Default

I get the orther side... we look nothing alike but Cosmicgirl's mum will always say I'm her daughter if people ask who don't know us!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-29-2010, 06:39 PM
Lemondrop's Avatar
Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 305
Default

It's actually comforting to me that this happens to other people, and seems to bear out my gf's theory. I'll just keep smiling and saying no, and ignore the awkward silence afterward. Most of the time when further explanation seems necessary, I say, "I'm a close family friend". Until I think of a better solution!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-31-2010, 10:06 PM
quila quila is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 39
Default

My best friend and I were always mistaken for sisters. We look nothing alike. I guess I would be "motherly" with her son, and maybe that made me look like his aunt, which would make me her sister. But I think whenever you spend enough time with someone, or if you share a close bond, you tend to adopt some of the same mannerisms, the same way siblings do because they grew up together.

It never made us uncomfortable, and we just said "nope" and left it at that. We never felt a need to explain. I think people are just asking out of curiosity or as an ice breaker to strike up conversation with two beautiful women
__________________
I do not need a label to define me. Labels are sticky and I hate the glue they leave behind.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:42 PM.