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  #31  
Old 06-24-2010, 11:25 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I just want to elaborate on this.

My husband and I together own a teardrop trailer (google it if you want to know what it is). Even though it is an inanimate object, I would feel very uncomfortable about either one of us having sex or even camping with someone else in that object. It's something we put a lot of time and effort in together and something that is really all about "us"... If I were to go camping with someone else I'd use another method of shelter. If we broke up t hen we would have to sell it.

Sorry, this is NOT "petty" to me. Too fucking bad.

On that note, I have become squiffy from my wine, but I stand by what I have said.
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  #32  
Old 06-24-2010, 11:32 PM
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Sorry, this is NOT "petty" to me. Too fucking bad.

On that note, I have become squiffy from my wine, but I stand by what I have said.
I'm on your side YGIRL...jeesh, tough crowd. I think someone having an issue with you having a special place is petty. I don't think having a special place is. I totally respect Redpepper and Polynerdist's special places. I think couples should have some things that are sacred.
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  #33  
Old 06-24-2010, 11:34 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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OK then I know you forgive me because of the ethanol and other things.
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  #34  
Old 06-24-2010, 11:38 PM
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OK then I know you forgive me because of the ethanol and other things.
Always Ygirl
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  #35  
Old 06-25-2010, 12:18 AM
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Mono's entire apartment is sacred to him. And by all this I definitely don't mean religiously. Spiritual maybe, a sanctuary maybe, but not religiously. Mono hasn't allowed anyone there but us. His space from others is very important to him. He and I bought everything in it for him and I to use. Its where he re-groups, he finds solace, where we hash things out and come back together. I can't imagine someone but us being there. If someone showed up it would feel very strange and uncomfortable.

Yes I understand entirely what it means to have attachments to furnature and places. Our whole house is filled with my childhood stuff; dining room set, dresser, my boy has my bunk bed. Nerdists family stuff too; a writing desk, bookshelves, hall table. All of these things I would expect guests to respect if we asked them and as good manners. Not that I'm anal, to me it is just good manners to respect a hosts wishes. Especially a metamour!
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  #36  
Old 06-25-2010, 12:23 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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And it's not as though we don't recognize the difference between objects and the well-being of people, isn't that correct redpepper?

I certainly don't confuse the sentimentality of the trailer with the actual relationship I have with my husband.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 06-25-2010 at 12:25 AM.
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  #37  
Old 06-25-2010, 12:34 AM
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And it's not as though we don't recognize the difference between objects and the well-being of people, isn't that correct redpepper?

I certainly don't confuse the sentimentality of the trailer with the actual relationship I have with my husband.
Sentimentality and relationship, two different ball games, yet can be closely linked. Agreed on that one.
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  #38  
Old 06-25-2010, 01:04 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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It irks me when I hear of women who for example, have lost their wedding ring, and they are devastated. They say things like "That ring was the SYMBOL of our RELATIONSHIP! WAHHH!"

I for one am not delusional to the point that I think of the trailer as the "symbol of our relationship". The object can be replaced. The person can't.

ETA: I should add (and I've said this before elsewhere) that we don't have wedding or engagement rings.
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  #39  
Old 06-25-2010, 05:20 AM
solarwindsfly solarwindsfly is offline
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In our home I sleep in my own room and my housemates sleep together. I am invited in regularly to sleep when one is gone or when we all want to be together. I do not like to sleep with others for the most part so they come into my room and sometimes are there most of the night. We really communicate at the moment. The boundaries are clear. I dont sleep there unless invited and its the same with my room. I love it I dont worry about sharing unless I want to but they feel close and like to snuggle at night regularly.

As for your question you need to talk to them. Make sure they communicate together with you. I hope it all works out for you Blessings!
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  #40  
Old 06-25-2010, 06:42 AM
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I'm of the opinion that if I lose something then I was not meant to have it anymore. while I might get attached to things I own, I can also be fine without. There is always more stuff that can be significant. I would miss that stuff....

this is a strangely metamorphic theory on my relationships.
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