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Old 01-27-2012, 01:12 AM
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Scott Scott is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: near Toronto, Canada -.-
Posts: 237

I told my family I was poly soon after I decided that I was; so about 16 years ago. Admittedly, my approach isn't something that most people would follow. I'm just the type of person who likes talking about what's on my mind. This doesn't always work out so well though -.-
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:39 PM
INo INo is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: United States.
Posts: 35

I don't live anywhere near my family so I see no point in telling them. The only person I'm thinking of telling is my best friend but even then I'm afraid of the end result.
Do what you are.
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Old 02-02-2012, 11:01 AM
dragonsgirl dragonsgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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I haven't told my family and don't think I will. I know they wouldn't understand. And as for telling my best friend, I tried that too. She started yelling at me and telling me that I was stupid for even trying this. Needless to say we didn't talk for two weeks until I called her and tried to explain things a little better. She's still not accepting it but says its my life.
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Old 02-02-2012, 01:19 PM
IsobelR IsobelR is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 17

Most of my friends know (most of my close friends are poly anyway...) and most of my family knows. Results have been varied. My brother and step-dad don't understand it, don't want to talk about it. But they still love me
My mum and sisters are happy to hear about my partners and have all met my boyfriend, though not my girlfriend as she hasn't been to England since we got together. They don't necessarily understand it, but are of the opinion that as long as we're not hurting anyone and are being careful about the child, all is good.

Though it's taken us a long while to get here. When my mum first found out, she said she didn't want to hear about it, or about how fine bf's wife (now my gf) was with it. That was about a year ago now. I've been...lucky, I think.
The unicorn they never knew they needed.
http://morethantwo-lessthanthree.blogspot.com/ for my views on God, Polyamory and Life.
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Old 02-02-2012, 08:01 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

OMG, TGIB told his mom! He left the door open for her to take it as "kidding around" if she needed to, but here's what went down:

Her: I just wish you could find a nice wife... (His divorce is about to be final this month)
Him: Nah, I'm good. I've got Gray.
Her: But she's married!
Him: So? MC doesn't care if I date her.
Her: You better not be involved in one of those threesome things...
Him: Would it be anyone's business if I was?? [note: we've never had a threesome together. :-P]
Her: I don't want you getting some disease!
Him: There's a different between being a slut and being in a committed relationship with multiple people.
Her:...well, that's true.
Him: And look at how often people in your precious Bible had multiple wives!
Her: Yeah, I guess you're right...

I'm just...flabbergasted. Floored. In a GOOD way. I never, EVER thought he'd even insinuate to her that he and I were more than just friends, which was going to make visiting him/them REALLY awkward and difficult. It'll be SO much easier now!
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:39 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,415
Default "out to family" update

So I was on the phone with my mom the other day, and I started referring to the woman I'm dating as "the girl I've been dating." My mom let it go a few times, but I kept using that phrase until she finally asked "wait, what do you mean by 'dating'" and I said "the same thing anyone means when they say dating. Like, we're interested in each other romantically. Don't worry, Erwin knows and he's ok with it." ... few seconds of silence ... "well, as long as Erwin is ok with it, that's all that matters."

Me: "Besides, I've never believed in monogamy. It just doesn't make any sense to me, I've always known I could never do monogamy."
Her: "Actually, that's what I think too. I mean, who wants to be with just one person for ever? Where's the fun in that? I was only ever monogamous because I didn't want to disappoint my parents..."

As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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Old 02-03-2012, 04:25 AM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 104

We haven't told our families. To the rest of the world, T and I are together and just friends and roommates with E.

Good parents will just be parents. Bottom line? They just want to make sure their kids are happy, safe and loved. That's why I go a bit out of my way to be extra hospitable and accommodating for E's mom. The more she understands and sees that he's happy in the situation and comfortable, the less she'll suggest he finds a mail-order bride. Yeah.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:05 AM
Familygirl Familygirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2

I have no family myself but my current partner has told his family and they are supportive. Past partners - some told their families and a couple didn't. I prefer that my poly family tell their families.
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:50 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
I'm just...flabbergasted. Floored. In a GOOD way. I never, EVER thought he'd even insinuate to her that he and I were more than just friends, which was going to make visiting him/them REALLY awkward and difficult. It'll be SO much easier now!
That's awesome!

Originally Posted by Schrodinger's Cat
Go mom, indeed! Happy news in this thread today.

My mom once said 'I could consider being a lesbian. The problem is, all the women I'm attracted to are as hopelessly hetero as I am.'
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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Old 02-06-2012, 03:08 AM
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trescool trescool is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ontario, Canada
Posts: 59

My bf came out to his parents and his family and they gave him a lot of shit. Did not go well. I haven't told my family. They are horrified enough that I'm dating a man who's going through a divorce... don't even know what they'd say if they knew we were poly. They currently have told me they don't want him in their house. And this just because he's going through a divorce!!! So telling them we're poly would probably be the best way to convince them I'm crazy. My friends know and are supportive, though.
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coming, coming out, coming out poly, coming out to family, religious

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