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Old 01-16-2012, 08:25 AM
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Vios Vios is offline
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Default Scarcity of Love and Polyamory: My personal Realization

Hello all,

I'm very new polyamory, and am currently single. I understand that these forums are primarily focused towards those who are currently in poly relationships, but I felt that my personal realization could be helpful for those just starting down the poly road like myself.

So my story is that recently I've been examining scarcity, and where it is in the world, and especially where it happens in my life. And by happens I mean: where I allow myself to create scarcity for others.

We have many resources in this world that we have enough for everyone, but presiding thoughts of "If I let someone else have this, I won't have it for myself." control how those resources are distributed. Food is a huge example of this; we know we have enough food in the world to feed everyone, yet millions starve. This same thought played over between thousands of people results in scarce resources that could be abundant.

I decided to look at love in terms of scarcity. This lead me to the thought: "Is love a scarce resource?" This further lead me to look at the thought: "If I let you be with someone else, I won't have you for myself."

I was sitting there thinking when it hit me. I said: "are the thoughts:
'If I let you be with someone else, I won't have you for myself.', and 'If I let someone else have this, I won't have it for myself.' the same, in the context of love and relationships? My answer was a resounding: YES!

I realized I was engaging scarcity thinking about love. So for me the truth became:

Love is not scarce. Letting those I'm with be with other people does not diminish the love they have for me or the love I have for them.


For me, this is a mantra - something I can remind myself of every time I struggle with jealousy or feeling unloved. I hope that this offers something for you all. Much Love! -V
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Old 01-16-2012, 05:30 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hello and welcome! Here are some similar threads that you might find pertinent:

Let the Bun Dance Begin!

Spreading the love around: does love lessen with more partners.

After Lack
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:09 PM
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Vios Vios is offline
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Great links and thanks! Esp. the Bun Dance, which I'm doing right now!
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